#I’m really freaking out I am so busy at work and it’s summer holidays | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

procrastinatingnerd · 3 years ago

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Hi everyone! So this was my first time taking part in the @osemanversebigbang but I had so much fun!! I can't wait to read everyone's entries! 💜

Title: Angel Rahimi And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Lunch Break

Characters: Angel, Juliet, Rowan, Jimmy, Lister, Bliss, two of Angel’s future uni friends (OCs).

Spoilers? Minor spoilers of important events in “I Was Born For This”.

Word Count: 3.6k

Ships: Bicci, one joke about Juliet/Rowan.

~Joan of Arc (Probably)

“I am so fucking tired”

“Right, time’s up, put your pens down.” The exam officer says from the front of the room. I scribble one last sentence before my hand gives out, and I all but throw my pen onto the desk, sighing as dramatically as I can. This week is a fucking nightmare. Exams and assignments are the piss. Fuck uni, I’m ready to drop out. Or drop dead. Either works, honestly.

As I leave the exam hall, I walk past some people from the students’ union. They’re handing out flyers for the Christmas ball next week. My housemates are all planning on going, but my friends and I planned our present swap for that night, so we’re going to spend it eating a fuck ton of snacks and watching the cheesiest Christmas films we can find. I can’t wait, I bought them each a bag of their favourite sweets from the American candy shop, it's going to be so much fun!

But that’s next week. Right now, all I want is to sit at a table that doesn’t have an exam paper on it, and eat something very greasy and very unhealthy. There’s a pizza place just on the edge of campus, run by some of the culinary arts students, and they make the best sauce ever. It’s pretty cheap too, which makes it a favourite for most people, especially at the end of a semester, when everyone’s bank accounts are running low.

I have about an hour until I need to be back in the exam hall, so I take full advantage of the outdoor seating and collapse into a chair after ordering. My pizza is brought out to me not long after, and I breathe in the smell. Nothing has smelt more gorgeous than the slices sitting in front of me. It’s a surprisingly warm day, for December at least, and for a moment, everything feels calm. I can hear a bird singing in a tree somewhere, other students are hanging around campus, most with their noses in their phones or in textbooks, and I actually let myself relax for a bit. I’ve done all the revision I can for this next exam, and I’m in desperate need of a break. I deserve this.

I pick up my first slice of pizza, and bring it up to my mouth. As I’m about to take a bite, however, my phone rings. I put the pizza down with a sigh and answer the phone without looking at who’s calling. Mum probably sensed I wasn’t doing any work, and is calling to check up on me.

“Hello?” I say tiredly.

“Angel, hi! Is this a good time??” I grin at the sound of Juliet’s voice.

“Hell yeah, it’s a perfect time! What’s up?”

“Wait, you don’t know why I’m calling?” Juliet says hesitantly. Shit. What have I forgotten now? I know it’s not her birthday. Wait, is it mine?? I swear exams rot your brain, have I actually forgotten my own birthday?

“No…?” I ask after internally monologuing for way too long.

“Oh my god, you don’t know??” Juliet screeches in my ear, “Angel go look at your phone, it’s urgent!”

Now very concerned, I put Juliet on speaker and, for the first time all morning, actually read the notifications filling my lock screen. I open the Twitter news one, and my mouth drops open in shock.

“Holy shit.”

On my screen is a news article with a headline that reads, “THE ARK’S JIMMY KAGA-RICCI AND LISTER BIRD’S SECRET RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED”, and just below it sits a large photo of Jimmy and Lister, standing outside a pub, kissing. I don’t believe it.

“Holy fu- Hold on a second. Mate, isn’t that the pub by Piero’s house?!” I say, bringing my phone as close to my face as I can, as if that’ll help me see better. There’s a loud shuffling noise on the other end of the line, and then I hear a gasp.

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Juliet says. “Rowan said they were going on holiday, but I thought he meant abroad or something.” I smile at that. Ever since our little jaunt to Kent last summer, Juliet and I have kept in touch with the boys. We even have a group chat now; us and them and even Bliss is in it. I’m so glad we stayed friends.

At first, Rowan was really quiet, and if he did speak he and Juliet would almost always end up arguing, but they’ve been getting along quite well lately. I’m not saying I ship it or anything, I’ve learnt my lesson there, but I have to say, fangirl-to enemies-to lovers would make a wicked fanfiction trope.

“Did you see any of this coming?” Juliet continues. “Surely Jimmy would have said something to you?”

“He said he was dating someone, but didn’t want to give details because they were taking things slow. Well, that and that celebrity phone hacking scandal freaked him right the fuck out, remember?” I say.

"That's

right, he stopped talking on the group chat for like two weeks, didn’t he?” Juliet giggles back. “Well, nevertheless, I’m happy for them. They’re cute together.”

“Yeah, they are.” I grin again. “Oh my god, poor Rowan though! I’d hate to live with a couple, especially a new one! It’d be nauseating.”

“Oh I know, right? And imagine what’ll happen when they have their first fight!” Juliet gasps again. I shudder at the thought.

“I’m muting the group chat when that happens.” I joke.

“Not a bad idea.” Juliet laughs back, then pauses. “Oh, Angel, I’m sorry I’ve got the get going, but do you want to skype later?”

“Yeah, no problem! I’ve got a revision session at 6, but I should be free by 9ish?”

“Sounds perfect! See you then!” Juliet says, and with that, she’s gone, and I’m back to sitting alone with my pizza.

Jimmy and Lister. Holy shit. I don’t think anyone in the fandom saw this coming. Everything has been about Jowan, since the fandom started growing it’s the only ship that ever existed. No one bothered writing fics about any other pairings. The only Jimmy/Lister fics I ever came across were platonic ones, and even they made sure to mention Jimmy’s boyfriend Rowan.

Oh god, I hope they’re okay. The fans got so crazy when Bliss and Rowan’s relationship was exposed. Jimmy/Lister is the final nail in the Jowan coffin. Jimmy must be having the panic attack of his life! I’ve got to-

My phone rings again.

I look down at the screen, and see Jimmy’s name. I take a deep breath, and answer.

“Jimmy, hi! How are-”

“Have you seen it??”

“Yes.”

“Oh god. This isn’t how we wanted to tell you guys.”

“You sure? Because getting caught by the national press worked so well for you last time.” I tease. Silence. Oops, probably not the best thing to remind him of right now.

“Jimmy, you still there?” I say carefully. There’s a slight rustle on his end, which means he probably just nodded. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise. The fans will move on. They already did with Jowan, right?”

“But what if something happens again? Something like-”

“It won’t. You guys have better security now, and you’re doing less public events. You’re going to be fine.” I hope and pray that I’m saying the right things. Jimmy and I have gotten close lately, but I’m nowhere near as good at helping him deal with his anxiety as Rowan and Lister are. There’s more silence, until finally, Jimmy speaks again.

“Okay. Yeah. Yeah I think you’re right. Thanks, Angel.”

“Course I’m right! If there’s one thing I know, it’s fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs, and I grin back. “And don’t forget, you’re not alone in this. This is happening to Lister too, and no doubt Rowan and Bliss will be there to help you. Just talk to them.”

“Thank you Angel, I’ll go do that now.”

“Perfect! Love you Jim, I’ll text you later.” I say, and the call ends.

He’ll be okay. He’s got too many people who love him not to be. I take another breath and put my phone down on the table. As soon as I do, however, it buzzes again, and I see Jimmy is trying to facetime me. Now very concerned, I answer it and hold the phone up so he can see my face properly.

“Jimmy, are you okay, what’s happened??” I ask anxiously, but he looks fine. He looks at me with a confused expression.

“Nothing, I’m just talking to the others, like you said.” He says. It’s only me and him on the call. I stare at him in silence for a moment.

“Jimmy, mate… I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not any of them” I say slowly, and to my surprise, Jimmy laughs.

“Yeah I know, but I was kind of hoping to have you here, too, if that’s okay?” He says sheepishly. “It’s okay if you’re busy, it’s just that… I don’t know, you’re good with this stuff and you make me feel calm? Sorry, I know that’s a lot to just dump on you.” Jimmy doesn’t look at me directly, and I start to feel tears in my eyes.

“Well damn, Jim, I guess if you truly love me that much, I can stick around for a bit.” I laugh, and quickly glance at the time. “My lunch break is only halfway over, anyway, so I have plenty of time to hang out while you talk to the others.”

Jimmy seems to let out a breath, like he’d been holding it, and grins.

Just as I’m about to start talking again, I hear a ping, and Lister’s face appears on screen, followed by Rowan and Bliss.

“Hey Jimjam, you okay?” Rowan asks, looking as calm as ever. “Oh hey Angel.” He adds. I give him an awkward smile.

“Wait, Angel's here?” Bliss interrupts before Jimmy can answer. “Nice, how’s the week from hell going? Didn’t think we’d hear from you until you’d made it through.”

“Yeah it’s rough, but I’m getting there. This is a welcome distraction though.” I grin at her.

“So you’ve seen the pictures then. They look good, right?” Lister chimes in, before correcting himself. “I mean, it’s horrible they found us, fucking pricks, but you’ve got to admit we look good.”

“You can be so self-centred sometimes.” Bliss laughs.

“Come on Lister, this isn’t a joke.” Rowan chides him.

“Well, I guess he isn’t wrong..” Jimmy mumbles nervously and I see him smile a bit.

“See, Jimmy agrees with me!” Lister argues back at Rowan, who rolls his eyes.

“It’s still not something to laugh about.” Rowan says firmly. “Cecily’s already on damage control, cancelling some events, beefing up the security at others, and giving the tabloids hell. She’s also let your grandad know, Jimmy.”

“Wait, aren’t you guys all down there already?” I ask, confused.

“Nah we got back last night. That picture was taken when we went out for lunch the other day. Took their time printing it.” Lister says.

“Probably needed time to pad out their articles. Seriously, how can they write so many pages about two people dating?” Bliss adds.

“Probably whining about how Jowan is now well and truly dead.” Rowan rolls his eyes again. “Although I have to say, I’m pretty happy about that part.” I cringe slightly as he says that. I will never not regret being one of the Jowan fangirls.

“So Cecily’s already got a plan? That’s good, that’s a bit of a relief.” Jimmy speaks up, looking visibly more relaxed than he had sounded over the phone earlier.

“Yeah she’s got it sorted, so we can start planning our Christmas party!” Lister says, making the others groan.

“Lister what the hell makes you think we should be throwing a massive fucking party right now?!” Rowan says, his voice growing louder. Lister goes quiet, looking like he wants to shrink into his seat, before eventually speaking up again.

“Look, it doesn’t have to be anything big, I just mean… Angel, you’re gonna be in London with Juliet, right? Come over, drag Bliss with you, Jimmy can invite his grandad, Rowan you can bring Jade, and there you go, that’s our party!”

“That’s...actually a good idea.” Rowan says, surprised.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun!” Jimmy adds.

“I’m up for it, Angel, do you think Juliet will wanna come?” Bliss says.

“Hell yeah she would, let’s do it!” I reply with a massive smile on my face. Partying with Bliss and the boys sounds like the best way to spend my Christmas London trip. I’ll make sure to tell Juliet about it when I talk to her later. As I start planning all the food I’m going to bring over, and wondering what the boys’ flat will look like at Christmas, the conversation starts up again.

“You sure you’re doing alright, Jimmy? I can come back home if you need me to.” Rowan says, focusing things on the issue at hand again.

“No no, don’t worry, stay with your family. They’d kill me if I made you miss out on spending time with them.” Jimmy jokes. “I’ve got Lister here, and Cecily’s number if I need it. My head isn’t giving me too much grief right now, anyway.”

“Wait, Lister, you’re there with him?” Bliss asks.

“Yeah, check it out!” Lister says, before picking up his phone and moving. He takes us out of what I think was his room, through a hallway and comes out into a large living room, where we can see Jimmy on a sofa looking at his phone. “Say hi to the chat, Jim!”

Everyone laughs as Jimmy gives an awkward wave to Lister’s phone. Lister then hangs up and launches himself into view of Jimmy’s screen, and the two shuffle about until they’re practically sitting on top of each other, faces

squished together so the tiny phone camera captures them both. I hate how cute they look together.

“Alright, if you’re sure, Jimmy,” Rowan says, smiling for probably the first time this whole call.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Jimmy smiles back. “This whole situation is terrifying, and I’m more than ready to hide in my room and not see another mad fangirl for the rest of my life, but... if I did that we’d never get to hang out with Angel again.” He finishes, biting his lip as if unsure of whether or not the joke will hit.

“Uh..ouch!” I clap my hand on top of my heart dramatically and laugh, while the others join in. “I’ll have you know I’ve abandoned my fangirl ways. Mostly. Sort of. Okay, not completely but I’m not shipping real people anymore, so that’s something, right?!”

Lister is giving Jimmy a look of what I can only assume is pride for making a decent joke during a time of peak anxiety, Rowan has his head in his hands, probably contemplating his life choices now that Lister seems to be rubbing off on Jimmy, and Bliss still looks shocked that such a joke came out of Jimmy’s mouth, not Lister’s. When things calm down again, I check the time and speak up again.

“Well this has been fun Jim, but I’m afraid I have mad fangirl duties to be getting back to. Shrines to build, fanfiction to write, you know how it is.” I say sarcastically.

“Thanks again, Angel, for being here, and listening. And you’d better be right about that fandom drama.” Jimmy laughs again, although this time I see his smile falter a bit.

“Hey, look at me,” I say, moving as close to the screen as I can without squishing my face on it. “Things will settle down before you know it, in the meantime, we’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” Rowan and Bliss nod in agreement, and I see Lister hug Jimmy closer. Jimmy takes a breath and nods as well.

“Thanks Angel. And good luck with your exam. We’ll see you over the holidays.” He smiles.

“Yeah you got this Angel, go smash it!” Bliss chimes in, giving me a thumbs up and a grin. I say one last goodbye to them all, and hang up.

I look back down at my pizza, still uneaten. I need to stop letting myself get distracted during phone calls. I can eat and talk to my friends at the same time. I’m usually a master at it.

“Fereshteh!” I look up again. Either I’m going loony, or someone just said-

“FERESHTEH!” I turn around and see Mollie and Christina barrelling towards me, with the most excitement I’ve ever seen on a students’ face during exam season. They crash into my table and both start talking at once.

“Have you seen??”

“Did you know??”

“How long have they been together?!”

“Oh my god is this why you won’t tell us about what happened in Kent?!”

“Woah, easy on the interrogation! Seriously, you guys need to work on your interview skills.” I put my hands up in surrender and laugh. Mollie rolls her eyes at me.

“So? Did they tell you or what?” She asks again. I roll my eyes back at her.

“You know I don’t want to tell you guys anything about the boys. They trust me, and I’m not going to fuck that up because of some shit a tabloid prints.”

“How dare you appeal to our morality and ethics, we want gossip dammit!” Christina giggles, lightly banging her fist down on the table.

“Then stick to the Twitter pages.” I stick my tongue out at her. Mollie and Christina are two of my housemates, and are part of the Ark fandom. I never planned on telling them about Kent, but they figured out who I was thanks to the pictures of me and Jimmy on the train. I didn’t think you could tell it was me, but fangirls are like master detectives. They figured it out in less than a week. They haven’t told anyone though, they’re good mates.

“So how are you feeling about all of this? Whether you knew or not, having it out in the press like this is a lot to handle, especially after last time.” Mollie says, now in serious mode.

“It is a lot, definitely, but they’ll be fine. They’ve had this happen before and they know what to expect from the fans. I just wish I could be there for them.” I say, sitting back in my chair.

“I get

that, it must suck that you guys are so far apart now.” Christina chimes in.

“I mean it’s not like we ever lived close to each other before. The only reason we even crossed paths over the summer was because I was staying with a friend. But yeah, being away from them all is kind of hard sometimes.” I sigh dramatically, making Mollie and Christina grin.

“Are you going to visit them over Christmas?” Christina asks.

“I’m definitely going to visit my friend in London again, for a day or two, but I don’t know if we’ll be able to see the boys.” I quickly lie. “They cut back on public events but they’re still really busy most of the time. And this,” I gesture to my phone “definitely won’t help.”

“We’ll keep an eye on fandom updates for you, and try to shut any mentions of Jowan down,” Mollie says, reaching across the table and giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I squeeze hers back and give her a grateful smile. I mostly stopped interacting with the fandom after meeting the boys, reading fanfiction, and discussing theories with other fans just feels weird and creepy to do when the people you’re talking about are your friends. So it’s nice that I have Mollie and Christina looking out for them, and doing what I can’t. Christina has a pretty big following on Tumblr, and Mollie’s a Twitter ace, so I trust them to hold their ground with the fandom.

“Okay, you don’t have to give us any details, but genuinely, what do you think of Lister and Jimmy as a couple? Because I don’t think the fandom could handle a breakup.” Christina says after a while, making me laugh.

“Pfft, yeah I don’t think the boys could handle a breakup, either.” I smile. “But honestly? I think they’ll be good for each other. Lister is good at helping Jimmy relax and step out of his anxiety bubble, and Jimmy can help reign in Lister’s chaotic energy. Plus they’re freaking cute together, I mean just look at this picture!” I finish, gesturing dramatically to my phone again.

“They are so cute!” Mollie nods in agreement. “I’m actually shocked no one thought to ship them together before.”

“That’s the Jowan storm, for you,” Christina adds. “Can’t believe we ever shipped that.”

“So gross.” I shudder at the thought. Suddenly the alarm I’d set this morning went off, making us all jump.

“What’s that?” Mollie asks. I check the screen and practically leap out of my seat.

“Oh shit, my exam starts in 10 minutes!” I say, gathering my stuff up as quickly as I can. I say my goodbyes to Mollie and Christina and start running back across campus to the exam hall.

I make it just in time, much to the invigilator’s chagrin, check my bag in at the desk at the back of the hall, and collapse into my assigned seat. The exam starts, and it’s only when it does that my stomach reminds me that I never actually ate lunch. Shit.

I start to silently scold myself for being so stupid, when my mind starts drifting to the video chat with Jimmy and the others. He and Lister looked so comfortable with each other. Makes sense, they've known each other for so long. But even still, Jimmy looked so much happier once Lister sat down with him, and Lister himself practically seemed at home with Jimmy’s arms wrapped around him. I smile at my exam paper.

I’m so happy for them.

#osemanverse #i was born for this #iwbft #bicci #angel rahimi #jimmy kaga ricci #lister bird #juliet schwartz #bliss lai

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1littleshippergirl1 · 3 years ago

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The First Day

With his worn out backpack over his shoulders, the straps digging into Harry’s skin with how much things he’d stuffed inside, he made his way into the building. There was a large Welcome Back banner over the front entrance. The colorful walls were something he’d greatly missed. The summer holidays weren’t nearly as fun for him, not when he was forced in his cupboard when he wasn’t working on his chores. Harry disliked his outdoor chores the most because not only would the heat be unbearable at times, but the faint noise of kids his age shrieking happily whilst they played would reach his ears, reminding him of how he couldn’t have fun like that.

But it didn’t matter now.

Now they were back in school and Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had to let him out. He was in Year Four and felt very grown up. He’d even grown an inch or two since last year so that meant he didn't need to use the foot stool to use the water fountain anymore. He was thoroughly glad because his height was one of the many reasons Dudley and his friends made fun of him. But it wasn’t his fault he was so much shorter. Maybe his parents had been short, too.

Harry was lost within his own thoughts. He didn’t see a foot coming out of nowhere. Consequently, he tripped and let out a squeak of alarm. He face planted right on the marble tile. Behind him, there was some laughter. Harry’s face scrunched up in pain, slowly sitting back up. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the culprit: Piers. Piers was one of Dudley’s friends who often came around and was extra mean to Harry for no reason.

“Better watch your step, Potter,” Piers jeered.

Dudley came into Harry's vision next. “Good one,” he laughed like it was supposed to be clever.

Harry pulled his knee up close, grimacing. It was skinned already, bleeding a little, too. He glared up at them with as much intensity as an eight year old could muster. “That wasn’t very nice.”

Dudley and Piers made faces, imitating his words in exaggerated voices.

“That isn’t very nice! Oooh!”

“Stop it!” Harry didn’t like being mocked.

“Stop it!” They repeated in sync. “Stop it!”

Piers snuck a mischievous glance over at Dudley, snatching Harry’s glasses right off his face.

Harry jumped to his feet. “Give those back!”

“Give those back!” Piers mocked him.

“I mean it! They’re mine !” Harry’s heart quickened. He hoped Piers would give them back before the bell would ring. He couldn’t go through the rest of the day without them.

“Now, now, where are you manners?” Piers teased. “Didn’t anybody teach you some?’

“Nah,” Dudley chimed in, “he’s an orphan. He didn’t have anybody to teach him.”

They laughed.

Harry did not.

Piers turned to Dudley, grinning wickedly. “What should I do with ‘em?”

“Break them!” Dudley burst out gleefully.

“No!” Harry erupted.

“Mum and Dad won’t get him another,” Dudley told Piers.

“Please, Piers, don’t do it!”

“What’s in it for me?” Piers twirled the glasses in his hand.

“I don’t know,” Harry looked desperate. He’d be willing to do just about anything so he could see properly again. “What do you want?”

“Gimme your lunch,” Piers ordered.

Harry’s body slumped. “My lunch? But what am I gonna eat?”

Piers shrugged, holding his hands behind his back and trying to pull off a sad look on his face. “I guess you don’t want your glasses after all.... ”

He started to walk away. “No, wait!” Harry said quickly. He clumsily rummaged through his backpack through his blurry vision, coming across the plain brown sack he had his lunch in. “Here.”

Piers’ eyes widened greedily. He tossed the glasses to the side, eagerly digging through to see what goodies were inside. He threw out whatever he wasn’t interested in eating, which ended up being a plain turkey sandwich and a tiny bottle of water. “What’s the big idea?” He demanded. “Where’s all the good stuff?”

“He can’t have any,” Dudley jeered. “Freaks don't get sweets.”

Harry finally found his glasses. He got up and while he kept his eyes to the floor, he said bravely, “I’m not a freak.”

“Yeah you are!” Dudley insisted. “Mum and Dad says so!”

“You mean say so,” Harry quietly corrected.

Dudley didn’t like that all much. He shoved Harry to the ground, much to the amusement of the gathering crowd. They laughed at him when he went crashing to the floor on his back. It sent pain up his spine. “Freak!” His cousin shouted.

It got the other kids to chant as well. “Freak! Freak! Freaky boy!”

Harry hurryingly grabbed his backpack and his lunch items that Piers threw to the floor, pushing past the crowd as he went to his classroom. The laughter became distant after a while, but it still hurt nonetheless.

///

Harry went inside the colorful classroom. There were posters all over the walls, some were for measurements, others were for maps and reminders for how to make a sentence with the right punctuation or if one needed to know how to not make a run-on sentence. He stood near the door, glancing around. The desks were close to each other and oh! They had lids that lifted up where you could put your things inside!

“Hello there,” A pretty lady with soft looking light brown hair and a sweet smile came over to him. She had on a bright yellow dress and her hair was curly and bouncy on her shoulders. “I’m Miss Kelli. What’s your name?”

“Harry Potter,” Harry said shyly.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Harry,” Miss Kelli smiled. ‘Why don’t you take a seat? We’ll get started shortly. You can sit anywhere you like.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded and surveyed the room. Most of the seats were empty except for one desk that was next to the large window that faced the playground. A boy was sitting there all alone. His clothes were worn, like somebody had already had them before he did. His hair was dark brown, almost black like Harry’s own hair and he seemed to be frowning. Maybe he was upset because no one was sitting with him?

He went right over to him with a beaming smile on his face. The boy looked up. He didn’t say anything, he only stared. “Hi I’m Harry!” Harry extended his hand but the boy did not shake it. “What’s your name?”

The boy still didn’t speak.

“Did you hear me?” Harry tilted his head. Maybe he needed to be louder. “I said my name is Harry. What’s-”

“I heard you,” the boy said, annoyed.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. “Why didn’t you say anything, then?”

“I didn’t want to,” The boy said coolly.

“You don’t have to be mean,” Harry frowned. “I was only asking.”

“Well don’t ,” The boy glared at him as if he caused all the problems in the world. Kinda like how Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon did.

“What’s going on here?” Miss Kelli came by, looking down at them, namely the boy, sternly. “Are you two getting along?”

Harry didn’t want the boy to get in trouble on the first day, even if he was a grouch. “We’re fine, Miss Kelli, honest.”

“You didn’t sound fine,” she wasn’t convinced. “Tom, you sounded upset. What’s wrong?”

So that’s what the boy’s name was.

Tom crossed his arms, another scowling coming out. “I’m fine,” he ground out.

“Tom, we don’t talk to people like that,” Miss Kelli said patiently. She pointed to a poster to the left of them, it was all about how to express yourself in a positive and helpful manner. “Do you see that over there? When you’re feeling angry, you need to take a deep breath and try to focus on something else. You don’t take it out on other people, okay?”

Tom huffed out a puff of air. “Fine.”

Miss Kelli said a few more things before she went back to her own desk. Harry stood there feeling awkward, like he was intruding on something. He waited until the teacher was gone to say anything else. “M’sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

Tom spared him a two second look. Then he went back to looking down at the wooden desk.

“Can I sit down?” Harry asked, tentatively inching his way closer. Tom didn’t respond. But he also didn’t move or explicitly say no, so he took that as encouragement to sit down. “Are you new?” He decided to ask while taking out the materials he needed for the day. “I haven’t seen you around before.”

“No,” Tom said shortly.

“Really?” Harry was surprised. “Oh.”

A moment later, he had another question. “Were you in Miss Isobel’s class?”

The younger years were separated into two, sometimes three different classrooms depending on how big the year was. Harry’s year had lots of students so there were three classrooms for fourth years. They all had different schedules so that was likely why he didn’t notice Tom until now. It was strange, though; usually someone stayed with that same group until they were finished with primary school. They weren’t moved to another group unless they'd done something really bad. Tom didn’t look bad. He seemed harmless.

“Or Mr. Kenny’s?”

“So what if I was?” Tom grumbled.

“Why are you in this class then?”

“None of your business,” Tom told him.

“But why?”

“Because I said so.”

Harry got quiet after that. That’s what Uncle Vernon said during the rare times when he broke the Dursleys rule of asking a question.

///

“We should be friends,” Harry declared during art class. Miss Kelli took them to another room filled with artwork on the walls, easels in the corners and smocks hanging up to wear over their clothes. The easels were placed in rows and they were to sit at one next to their desk partner. They were allowed to paint whatever they wanted.

Tom was using a tiny brush dipped in green paint. He’d made a giant snake and was currently working on the scales. He paused, looking just like Aunt Petunia, as if he’d swallowed something unpleasant. “What?”

“We should be friends,” Harry smiled.

“No,” Tom said bluntly.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to.”

“But why ?”

Tom gripped the brush much harder than before.

////

Tom was sitting alone at lunch. Just like in Miss Kelli’s room, he saw at the table that was furthest from everyone. Even though he declined Harry’s suggestion that they be friends, he was still going to try. Maybe Tom was having a bad day. No one talked to him at all. It was like Harry's situation, only this wasn’t because Dudley had scared the other kids. People just seem to naturally avoid Tom.

Poor Tom

Harry felt bad for him. He must have definitely been lonely. That only proved to him that Tom needed a friend. He couldn’t be by himself forever! So he made his way over there. He tried to be quick about it; Dudley was coming into peripheral vision.

“Hey freak !”

Harry sat on the bench, doing his best to ignore his cousin. “Hi,” he said.

Tom stared.

“I told you I didn’t want to be your friend.”

“Okay,” Harry said instead of arguing with him. “But I have nowhere to sit. Can I sit here.”

Tom muttered something he didn’t quite catch.

“Where’s your lunch?” Harry peered at him, his eyes brimming with curiosity.

Tom glowered at him.

It dawned on Harry in that minute. “Do you not have any lunch?”

Tom crossed his arms, his gaze wandering elsewhere. The faintest hint of red appeared in his cheeks.

“Do you want some of mine?” Harry offered. “I haven’t got much, only a sandwich and water. But you can have half of it.”

Tom looked like he didn’t believe him. Not until Harry unevenly tore the sandwich in half. He gave the bigger piece to Tom, who had a flash of surprise on his face. He hadn’t expected to be given anything. Harry glanced around, wondering how he could give Tom some water. He spotted a stack of plastic cups on a wheeling cart not too far from them. “You should get one of those,” he said. “I’ll give you some water.”

“Why?” Tom narrowed his eyes.

Harry blinked innocently. “Aren’t you thirsty?”

A few seconds passed by.

Tom got up to fetch the cup. He dropped the cup in front of Harry, watching determinedly as if to ensure that he was actually going to oit. And he did; he poured half of it into the cup and slid it back to Tom.

He didn't immediately dig in like Harry thought he would. In fact, he was just looking at it. Like it was some strange object.

“Do you not like it?” Harry asked. “I don’t have anything else but I can see if I can bring something different tomorrow.”

He watched as Tom’s eyes lifted from the sandwich to meet his own.

“Why did you give me this?”

“You looked hungry,” Harry said.

“You don’t even know me.”

“That’s alright,” Harry said. “I don’t mind. I’ll share with you tomorrow too if you want.”

Tom seemed like he was pondering his words and then very slowly he took a bite of the sandwich.

////

He didn’t know if he should go up to Tom this time. He was under a tall tree with his knees pulled up to his chest, glancing over at the fence. Harry wanted to; he wanted another chance at talking to him. But the other boy was giving off a feeling that made him reconsider; it was just like when Uncle Vernon had a bad day at work. He would go to his chair after coming back. Aunt Petunia knew better than to disturb and she’d tell Dudley to go find something else to do than watch the telly, which usually upset him until he was promised a new toy or a day full of fun with whatever he wanted to do.

Harry stood in the middle of the playground, watching him. He didn’t see Dudley coming up behind him until it was too late. He was yet again shoved, falling to the ground with one swift swipe. Harry turned on his side, looking up at his cousin with dread filling in his stomach.

“Leave me alone, Dudley,” Harry’s knees were aching.

“Why should I?” Dudley sneered.

“You’re being mean!”

“Aww,” Dudley mocked. “Is the freak gonna cry like a whittle baby?”

“I’m not a baby!” Harry jumped to his feet.

“Yeah you are!”

“No I’m not!”

“Yeah you are!” Dudley said loudly. “You’re a baby! Baby, baby !”

“Stop it!” Harry said hotly.

“Stop it,” Dudley imitated him.

Harry glared as fiercely as he could. He really wanted to wipe that look off his cousin’s face but he didn’t want to be grounded to his cupboard. Instead, he stormed off towards the tree Tom was under. He’d seen the whole thing, evidently. His expression was impassive as Harry plopped down.

“Do you know him?” Tom nodded toward Dudley’s direction.

“He’s my cousin,” Harry scowled for the first time that day. “He hates me.”

Tom only hummed. “He’s stupid,” he said at last. “He still can’t even remember his times tables.”

That brought a smile out of Harry. It was true; Dudley still struggled with previous years’ material. It was one of the reasons why Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia got mad at Harry whenever he did better than Dudley.

Tom’s eyes landed on Harry once again. It made him feel like the other boy was staring deep into his soul or something. “Does he hurt you?”

“Huh?” Harry blinked. “Er, sometimes.”

“Sometimes how ?” Tom said impatiently.

Harry squirmed. He wasn’t supposed to talk about that. “Er, well-”

“Don’t bother lying to me,” Tom said sharply. “I can tell when people are.”

“I wasn’t,” Harry insisted. He fiddled with his hands under the scrutiny of Tom’s gaze. “Er, well, he hits me sometimes...and he has this game he plays with his friends, Harry Hunting.”

Tom arched an eyebrow.

A flush came over Harry’s face. The stare made his fidgeting worse. “They like to chase after me. Once Dudley’s friend Piers....he held my arms and Dudley punched me.” He grimaced, just remembering how painful his stomach was to the touch for weeks after.

Tom’s cold gaze lingered on Dudley, who was a ways away, standing in front of a smaller boy, holding up his fist threateningly. “He’s a coward,” he spat. “Only bloody cowards hit people.”

Harry pulled out a wrinkled piece of parchment paper from his pocket and a couple of crayons. He was continuing to work on the picture he’d started this morning during their free time in Miss Kelli’s classroom. He still listened to what Tom was saying.

“-wonder how he’d like it, getting hit back,” Tom said in a scarily calm voice.

Harry’s head snapped in horror. Was Tom going to try and hit Dudley back? He didn’t want him getting hurt. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t! He’d be outnumbered.

“You’re...you��re not going to do anything, are you?”

Tom only smirked.

////

They were released at the end of the day. The younger years had to wait to be picked up by their parents but fourth years could walk home if they wanted to. Harry hurriedly grabbed his things, rushing down the hallway--but not running--so he could catch Tom in time before he left. The entrance doors flew open; he stood at the top of the cobblestone stairs, looking out for him. The sun was shining, a warm shadow coming over his face. He brightened up when he saw Tom at the end of the walkway, about to turn right.

He rushed down there. “Tom! Tom!”

Tom made a face when he saw him but it didn't hurt Harry’s feelings. He came to an abrupt stop in front of him, breathless and panting to re-catch his breath.

“What?” Tom said grumpily. “What do you want now ?”

Harry grinned toothily, but also a bit shyly. “I made you something!”

Tom blinked.

He held it up; it was a stick figure drawing of the both of them. Harry was drawn in red and he colored Tom in bright green. With a hopeful gleam in his eyes, he presented the drawing to him. He rocked on his heels. “Do you like it?”

Tom kept his eyes on the drawing, staring at it in wonder. “You drew this for me?” He demanded.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. He pointed to the corner of the paper where Tom’s name was scribbled in. “See? It has your name on it. Well, do you like it?”

“It is...acceptable,” Tom decided on. In a whisper, he added, “Thank you, Harry.”

Harry beamed. “You’re welcome!”

There was a tiny smile on Tom’s face.

Both boys were quiet. The only noise came from the chirping birds, the cars that passed by and the chatter of the other children. That is, until the doors came open again and Dudley ran out. Harry’s hands flew up to his mouth, his shoulders beginning to shake with laughter.

Dudley had a bucket over his head and apparently, he was having difficulty getting it off. “Mummy!” he wailed, running around helplessly. (Harry wondered how he didn’t fall on the stairs). “Mummy, help!” Dudley’s friends tried to run after him, yelling for him to stop so they could help. He did not do that, however. He kept running until he hit a tree and fell right on his back.

Harry laughed.

“Oh, I wonder if he’s alright,” Tom said in a voice that suggested he felt oppositely. “Wouldn’t it be a shame if he was hurt?”

#Harry Potter #tom riddle #Dudley Dursley #piers polkiss #tom riddle fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #friendship

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atopearth · 3 years ago

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Brothers Conflict (Passion Pink) Part 1 - Asahina Masaomi Route

I am happy to announce that I will try my best to play Brothers Conflict in Japanese! Yes, it was Christmas so I splurged and bought Diabolik Lovers, Brothers Conflict and Norn9 hahahah. Hopefully I can do this! Apparently Brothers Conflict is an easy read because it's slice of life and uses normal everyday words so let's go! Ema and her squirrel Juli huh? That's kinda cute lmao. Anyway, I know the basic premise but it's kinda crazy to have like 11 new brothers, like wow. And her squirrel talks?! I guess it's nice to have a such a reliable squirrel "parent" for Ema since it seems so capable haha. I don't blame Ema for being so nervous though haha. Oh wow, Miwa (the lady Ema's father is remarrying) is rich and nice! Hahahaha, Ema thinks Masaomi is Wataru's dad, is he that old looking?🤣 Anyway, I know it's a game so Ema has to be surprised to know all these hot guys etc are her new brothers but if this was real life and I was nervous about meeting all these brothers by myself, I would definitely hope to have seen or have a photo of them with me lmao. Anyway, lmao at Wataru giving Ema candy for accidentally hurting her when he couldn't stop his bike in time lolll, who is the little kid here?!🤣 Awww, I don't like fan clubs but I do like Iori! He seems cool and kinda knows how to handle his fangirls. Ukyo mightttt be my type, we'll see🤣 Anyway, Ema is such a considerate daughter for not wanting to intrude on her father's newlywed life and deciding to live in the Sunrise Residence with all the other brothers, I would be so scared to live with a bunch of new random siblings lol.

Is a sunflower badge a symbol to show you're a lawyer or something? That's pretty cool! Anyway, Masaomi is the eldest son?! I totally assumed Ukyo would have been the oldest haha! Guess looks are deceiving. Hahaha, Ukyo calling him "nii-san" (older brother) is a shockk🤣 I admit that Kaname's purple kimono looks pretty cool, but dang, kissing the back of Ema's hand and then saying can he kiss other places too?! That's a great way to introduce yourself... I'm so glad Ukyo hit him for doing that lol. Lmaooo I thought Kaname was going to be a fashion designer of some sort but he's actually a Buddhist priest?! Wow lol. Oooh I like Tsubaki and Azusa's looks! They're cute, are they twins? Okay yep, they are. I love them already🤣 Omggg and they're both voice actors? They're getting cooler by the second🤣 I love how friendly Tsubaki is lol. I love how just as Ukyo hits Kaname for getting out of hand, Azusa does the same for Tsubaki lol. Lmao at Ema thinking to herself whether Tsubaki is "okay" in the sense of whether there's anything wrong with him because of how he talks hahahaa. Awww Subaru seems cute, he's shy with girls even though he's a university student! OMG Tsubaki is older than Subaru? I can't tell these age differences lol!! I like Iori a lot though hahaha. Lmao I thought Iori recognised Ema's school uniform because he knew girls from there but it was actually because Yuusuke (another brother) goes there hahaha, sorry my bad Iori. Tsubaki is so slack to hide from Yuusuke that they were going to have a new sister lolll. But his reaction was funny so I can understand. I find it hilarious how Yuusuke can't handle Ema being sad over him not approving of this loll, so he had to just agree to make her happy haha. HAHAHA, when Kaname asked Ema to call him "onii-chan" LOL, like geez dude!! And then even Tsubaki joined in🤣 I like Azusa, so I'm glad there was an option to call him onii-chan loll. I think it was pretty funny how they got her to keep calling them onii-chan lmao, it was nice how she played along with them and got to enjoy having so many siblings considering that it must have been pretty lonely with just her dad and he's probably busy working a lot of the time.

Awww that's so sweet, Ema woke up early hoping to make breakfast for the brothers! She's such an awesome sister. I have to agree with Ema, Kaname exercising early in the morning is a surprise haha. I honestly thought Ukyo would be the one there...and he is! Ukyo is the one who cooks breakfast and all the meals I guess! Lmao at the cute rabbit apron he wears🤣 Ukyo best boyyy! Omg Rui is pretty, I love his hair. But I find it so funny how he's like touching her hair and Ema is like so calmly just introducing herself to him lmao. Oooh, so we have another idol brother, lmao at Ema thinking the family were fans instead of him being a brother, like what are the chances that they would all be fans of him🤣🤣 Aww Mahoko looks like a cute best friend for Ema. Sasakura (the soccer ace guy) seems pretty friendly to offer to help Ema move. I have to agree with Ema though, Masaomi in work mode is nice to watch, I always think it's so sweet to see guys so kind and patient with kids (even though I don't like kids🥲). It was so sweet how Ema so honestly told him she would have liked a doctor like him when she was a kid, Masaomi blushing at her praise was actually pretty cute lol. Awww, his pocket is full of chocolates and other stuff as rewards for the kids! It's nice that he has a whole variety of stuff like stickers and mini cars since he doesn't want to give them too many sweets. It must be so heavy though lmao.

Fuuto sleeping CG is pretty cute~ LOL did he just say Ema is cute but it seemed like she's dumb?! Well, there goes your idol dreams, Ema lol. Lmao when he said she didn't deny it and said she's an idiot, like woww, way to go Fuuto, you're definitely an ass. He's probably traumatised or annoyed with his fangirls or something. I can so relate to Ema's rage, I would want to strangle Fuuto loll. Okay, I did something wrong and didn't realise I needed to go to the aquarium with Masaomi! Lmao at Ema saying all the fish are cute lol. Blushing Masaomi is so adorable though. It was so cute how he got embarrassed for not realising that he was really close to her, and it was so cute how Ema tried to explain that she didn't hate it and that it just made her heart beat really fast😂 Aww Ema and Masaomi both like small animals. Damn, these guys are rich, do they have a villa on an island?!! I think it's really nice how they all take the time out to go on holiday with the whole family there every summer vacation though. Considering how many of them there are and how busy they are, it's good to see that they try to make the effort to bond with each other. They've even got a private beach on a part of the island, danggg. Anyway, I love how welcoming the brothers are. I agree with Iori, Ema is really admirable to even do supplementary classes to help with going to her dream university, she's working hard!

You know, considering that these guys are her "brothers", I find it funny that they're quite unreserved towards the idea of doing date-like stuff with her loll! Like with the amusement park, Masaomi held her hand to keep it warm after she got a bit freaked out with the haunted house attraction lol! I guess considering the game, I should just throw that all out of the window and just enjoy it for what it is haha. I mean, I gotta admit, it's pretty cute. I guess it's not that cute after I looked at their character profiles and realised that Masaomi is actually 31 and Ema is like 16-17? Oh well, I guess I'll ignore that too😂 Aww, Masaomi seems like such a parent, he's sad that his brothers are older now and they don't rely on him as much for stuff anymore. I guess that would be something good but also sad to see. It's interesting how the dialogue changes when you get more hearts. It's like initially, Masaomi used to be like, nah I'm not free into yeah I'm free, and now he's just like let's go lol. I think the nicest change is that he used to leave to go somewhere else after their outing, but now he goes home with her. I think something that's nice to see is Masaomi "spoiling" her, like he doesn't do anything over the top, just simple stuff like buying her a strap, holding her bags etc, but I feel like because she's always lived only with her father, and now that he has a new partner, she's even more reserved towards not wanting to trouble others, so I think Masaomi treating her sweetly is nice. I find it so sweet how he understands her so well that he knows that she would feel bad about it, so he asks her to buy snacks for everyone in exchange. I love how Ema made a whole bunch of sandwiches on their zoo date, I love little picnics~ And it's so cute how she offered to make him lunch next time since he's always so busy with work that most of the time he just buys rice balls and sandwiches from the convenience store.

I'm so excited for their trip!! Lmao, I really want to see Ema's swimsuit now, considering how Subaru was so surprised by it, he told her to wear his jacket🤣 Aww playing with fireworks at the beach with Masaomi was nicee~ I think Masaomi really gives off that great big brother vibe that will ensure she'll never feel lonely, it's really heartwarming to see. Omggg there's the option to stay overnight in Masaomi's room now!! Not that anything happened (for now) since he just helped her study and she fell asleep there~ but it was really cute to know that Masaomi keeps all the letters he gets from his current and old patients, it's sweet that his room is "messy" because of it haha. Gotta love how Masaomi took his other futon to clean so now they have to share a futon lol, like how far away is Ema's room lolll! But anyway, it's fine I guess because it's cute~ It seems like from way back when he was a kid, Masaomi was already mature and stepped up to be the big brother that would help out his parents because they're so busy. I still wonder how he survives as a doctor if he nearly faints after seeing a little bit of blood lol, but yeah it's crazy how much of Masaomi's life revolves around his family. Even him choosing to be a doctor was because he wanted something stable, good income and have useful knowledge for taking care of his family if anything were to happen so that his parents wouldn't need to worry. He's such a good child. I found it so wonderful how Ema praised Masaomi for his work saying she could really see how much his patients really trust him and see how earnest he is with his work. Can't blame him for feeling so embarrassed hahahha. Okay, I'm dying at how sweet Masaomi's lines become. Now when you ask him on a date, he's like are you sure you want to spend your precious break day with me?! Hahaha, of course we do! And now when you ring his doorbell hoping to stay over, he looks forward to Ema being the one to ring it, I love it so much🥺 I find it so cute how he's more conscious of her staying over so late now hahaha. Omggg, he just asked if it was okay to share the same futon and Ema was like sure, awww that's so cuteee, they're practically together now lol. Omggg he confessed that he liked her when he thought she fell asleep! He even kissed her on the forehead! Awww!! I wonder how Ema will react now~

Kaname really loves to flirt with Ema allll the time doesn't he lol. Subaru blushing at Ema having baked his birthday cake for him is so cuteeee. Anyway omg, does everyone actually already like her?? Even Iori said he was happy that it was because Ukyo was busy so she ended up having to bake the cake and not because she wanted to since the beginning😮 Anyway, it was so cute how Masaomi said he wanted to be the first to congratulate her when she turns 20 (since they just came back from Subaru's 20th birthday), and okay, it seems like Ema lives kinda far from the guys?? Lol, I thought it was a shared house kinda thing. Anyway, their accidental kiss seeming led up to Masaomi giving her another kiss?! I feel like my heart was beating fast like Ema's lmao. LMAO when Masaomi offered a kid to ride on his shoulders to see the dolphin show properly (he even called himself an big brother/onii-san) and the kid still calls him an uncle/oji-san hahahaha. HAHAHA, I love how Ema readied herself to have Masaomi check her with a stethoscope (she was sick) since it feels embarrassing and she raised her clothes so high, he saw her bra or something lmao. LOL, Usa-tan sounds like an amazing doll that can shoot out stationery, record, be a calculator etc, like dang lolll. Omggg that Ema had to wear bunny cosplay for the school festival cafe, lmao when Yusuke saw it and was embarrassed lol. Ohhh, there's another older brother called Natsume who moved out of the mansion! I've lost track of how many there are honestly but Natsume is pretty good-looking. I'm so glad Azusa made Natsume apologise to Ema properly for being so rude to her when he didn't know who she was and reacted badly to her calling his name so familiarly. WHAT, TRIPLETS? Them being triplets is definitely a shock to me like whaaaat omg. Once again, impressed that Miwa had so many children and looks so good. I seeee, so Tsubaki and Azusa are identical but Natsume is fraternal oooo. Anyway, I was so shocked that I forgot to say I didn't even think about a wedding ceremony so I'm glad there is one for her father and Miwa hahaha. LOL when Miwa gave Ema the bouquet and told her if she likes any of her sons, she would help them hold the ceremony, like dang, she's already decided that she wants her new "daughter" to be like a true daughter loll. Gotta love it when your parents are supportive of you marrying your step brothers lolll. Anyway, seriously though, I guess that makes it easier for them later on with no parental drama haha.

It's so cute how Masaomi gives candy to Ema as a reward all the time hahaha. Well, Ema not being the real daughter of Rintaro was unexpected... I felt sorry for her when she found out and felt that she would be all alone if her dad told her the truth properly. I feel like Ema's always tried her best to be strong on her own because her dad was always busy, but he was family and she knew he would always be there because they're tied by such bonds so it was okay even if she was sad that she couldn't see him much, so I feel like her breaking down is understandable. I thought it was really sweet how Masaomi told her that he would always be by her side so she would never be alone, and that if she's still sad after talking to her dad, she can always go to him for help. It's sad that her parents died so early in her life, but I'm glad Rintaro decided to take care of her instead of leaving her all alone in some institution. It was also nice that Ema got to hear what she needed to hear, which was that even if they're not connected by blood, Ema is still his daughter, and I think it really helped her insecurities to hear her dad properly tell her that.

Lmaooo when Ema thought Hikaru was Kaname's girlfriend😂 On the other hand, I'm not sure what to think about Tsubaki and Kaname being "moe" to little sisters lolll, but I guess at least they're quite frank and obvious about Ema totally being their type lolll. Anyway, I guess now we've seen all the brothers! I knewww Miwa was going to ask Masaomi to go to an omiai but danggg. Especially since he's the oldest brother so I guess it was to be expected in his route. Awww I love how Masaomi so honestly told the girl he had someone he liked. I legit can't wait until they both tell each other their feelings, I'm so excited!! Lmaooo, Masaomi in a Santa Claus costume looks so funny hahaha. Awww he bought Ema a Christmas present!! It's nice that Masaomi gave Ema her very own Usa-tan! Anyway, omggg Azusa and Tsubaki are sooo close, it's actually kinda cute how much they love each other haha. I loved how Ema properly thanked all the guys during the Christmas party for looking for her when she ran away after realising her dad wasn't blood related to her, and I loved how they told her it was natural since she's family. When he hugged her thanking her for always encouraging him and supporting him, it was so cuteee, I love how much Ema loves seeing the serious Masaomi that dedicates himself to saving people however he can.

Masaomi is usually so tired from work, but I love how he's always like Ema is always welcome to visit his room! I think it was especially cute when Ema was about to go back knowing that he didn't get much sleep and she woke him up, but he knew that she wouldn't randomly just come to annoy him for nothing, so thankfully he got her to not feel like she was bothering him and gave him the chocolate~ Masaomi blushing is always the cutest~ Lmaooo Ema is like a pro gamer😂 I found it so funny how Subaru and Ema just told Yusuke to pick up items because he's weak😂 Awww Masaomi was sad that Ema didn't react to the pink heart necklace he gave her through Usa-tan! To be fair he did do it in a really roundabout way so I guess it's understandable that she didn't notice it, but luckily she did lol, so now she doesn't need to misunderstand that he thinks of her as just a kid. Ohhh, I thought Masaomi was just jealous that Ema was having fun with Subaru and them, but it was actually because he thought that Ema would probably have more fun and be more happy with a guy around her age and that's why he was sad🥺 I'm so happy that they both told each other their worries and how much they enjoyed their time together. Ema definitely was more brave to say she wanted to always stay beside him though haha. Lmao at Masaomi having eaten so many sweets at that shop he bought the white day presents for Ema loll. Anyway, I didn't realise Fuuto was actually like 2 years younger than Ema, considering how arrogant he seemed, I thought he was around the same age lol. Anyway, I obviously rose the wrong stuff and didn't get the best ending LOL. I was so sad when Masaomi was like, you'll always be my sister or something and it ended, and I was like excuse meeee!? Anyway, I redid the whole thing LOL. I knew that Masaomi had to get over the blood thing if something happened to Wataru so I'm glad Ema was there to kinda wake him up to do that haha. I missed out Ema in a kimono CG!! She was so beautiful!! And omggg, their wedding and expecting a baby endings were nice~ Definitely worth me going through all that again just to see it lol.

Overall, if you can ignore the fact that Masaomi is like 30 and Ema is 17, then this route was quite nice. Well, to be fair, the whole premise is a grey area so I guess the age gap shouldn't be a problem for most who decide to try this game haha. Anyway, I really liked Masaomi. He's like the oldest brother that's super caring about his family, but also a bit childish, maybe because he's kinda like Wataru's father lol. I thought Masaomi was the one who took care of most of the brothers but Masaomi got too busy with his job so that kinda fell on Ukyo instead, which I'm looking forward to in the future! But yeah, I really loved how kind, gentle and sweet Masaomi was all the time, and I really liked how much he had that nice older brother vibe that I super dig lol. You can say, he really soothed my heart LOL, like every time I spend some time going through the route, he always makes my heart warm and makes me smile because of how kind he is, and I just really loved that. I always love how he always takes interest in his patients' interests and does his best to understand them so he can better interact with these kids and make them have an easier time in the hospital. Anyway, I'm super proud of myself that I was able to finish this route in Japanese!! I probably didn't understand 100% of it, but I think I got most of it and I'm so happy about that! I probably spent wayyy too much time on the dictionary searching for kanji but I can definitely see the progress and I'm looking forward to finishing all the routes! It's still kinda crazy to me though, like I still remember once upon a time, I really wanted to play this game and honestly hoped for a localisation one day, but now I've given up and decided to just practise my Japanese with it instead lol. It's interesting how things have come to be, but I'm excited for the rest~

#brothers conflict

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swiftlymoniquesblog · 4 years ago

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What Christmas Means to Me- Dean x Reader

A/N: Happy New Year, friends! I am enjoying a Harry Potter marathon as I am off for the entire weekend! I hope you had a wonderful time last night and that you were safe! Hopeful for the new year.

So, this is extremely late and for that, I apologize. Life is rather chaotic for me but it’s okay, I’m doing good work for others. The, further along I get into this new job, the more I hope to be able to update without anyone looking over my shoulder. However, I hope you still enjoy this holiday fic, even with it being after the holidays!

Warnings: Slight mentions of depression, angst, but a lot of fluff to make up for the heavy stuff

Word Count: 5,152

Requests are OPEN!

Holiday Masterlist| Masterlist of all Masterlists

This time of year, was normally special to you. The lights, the presents, the food, the music, but this year, was different. 2020 was the year that was supposed to bring endless possibilities yet every dream of everyone all around the world, came to a halting stop as the coronavirus starting wreaking havoc on China first, then spreading its way to the rest of the world. Restaurants, schools, churches, movie theaters, bars, everything was shut down and people who weren’t considered essential workers were asked to stay inside. Towns and cities across the world were told it was unsafe to leave their homes unless it was absolutely necessary to. The summer saw a bit of a slowdown in the number of cases a day, yet there was an entire second “wave” expected to come by the winter months. It was a scary time, to say the least, but as the year was wrapping up and it the second wave was starting to take its toll too; you knew that everyone was anticipating the end of the year and a possible vaccination.

The family business needed to be put on hold. When the news broke about the virus, the Winchesters decided it was for the best interest and safety of everyone if you put your live-saving efforts aside until it was safe again. To say that it was a challenge to be locked up in the Bunker with the brothers was an understatement. You felt as if the walls were slowly closing in on you until finally, after four months in lockdown, you began to venture out of the Bunker. Wearing your masks and keeping yourselves distant from anyone who wasn’t in the Bunker, you and the Brothers had decided to make a much-needed supply run. In times of emergencies, like being put on a lockdown, Sam had stocked up over the years with necessary items. But no one knew you would end up using the supplies that were meant to last an entire year, in only four months. Because your normal supply runs that you used to do once a week hadn’t happened in all that time, it was needed now more than ever. The first time you left the Bunker since the virus hit, it was an odd experience. Wearing a mask anytime you were around other people, keeping at least six feet away from them and constantly having to wash or sanitize your hands was completely foreign to you. It seemed like a lot of people were already adjusted to these protocols but you and the brothers were struggling with these changes. Wanting to go home as soon as possible, you hurried to grab all your essential items before making your way to the checkout line. A few more attempts at these new runs and it almost became ‘normal’ for all of you.

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With the end of the year quickly approaching, it grew more and more difficult to get into the holiday spirit. Because everything was turned upside down, you wondered if Christmas was really worth celebrating. You couldn’t really go anywhere or have anyone over to celebrate, so why even bother? A lot of the normal activities you liked to do around the holiday has been canceled and it was hard to stay positive about it all. Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing; he knew how much this time of year meant to you and it hurt him to see that you were so down and out of spirit this year.

“I just don’t see the purpose of celebrating the holidays with this many deaths in the world, everyone panicking about how much worse this thing could get and we can’t really go out anywhere and do too much anyway, so what’s the point?” You say, explaining why you’ve lost your spirit.

“The point is, it's your favorite time of year (y/n). You love all the lights and the music and movies, the tree, decorating the house; it’s your thing!” Dean said, almost in a pleading tone in his voice. It sounded a lot heavier than he normally used and you could tell it was bothering him to hear you say these unusual things about holidays.

“I know that’s how I normally feel but I just can’t seem to feel that way this year,” you say, feeling worse about bringing it up to him in the first place, especially since he gave his best impression of Sam’s puppy dog look.

“Well, I think you just need some help getting into the holiday spirit then. And I think me and Sammy are the perfect ones to help you out!” Dean said, grinning from ear to ear. That normally meant that he was up to something and you knew he wouldn’t tell you what he was planning.

“I don’t know Dean, I’m not sure that’ll help,” you say, still unsure of his idea.

“Well, you can at least let us try, especially me. I have quite a few ideas up my sleeve,” he says with that grin never fading away.

“Really? So, you have ideas for spreading the Christmas spirit? Usually, you never get into the holidays; you typically treat them like any other day,” you reason with the eldest Winchester. You had known him for long enough to know how the holidays typically went for the brothers.

“So, this year has been more different than in the past. I think we ought to celebrate being alive and healthy because who knows how next year will go?” His answer surprised you. It was deeper than what you were expecting him to say and he hasn’t said anything with that much meaning behind it in a long time. The sentiment warmed your heart.

“Alright, that was unexpected coming from the resident grump of the family, but okay. If you want to be festive and think it’ll help,” you trail off before he interjects saying,

“I do think it’ll help; I promise!”

You chuckle, shaking your head at the fully grown man acting like a child. Within that instant, he was off to begin his plan but his first task was finding Sam.

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Dean’s POV

I was thrilled when (y/n) agreed to let me help her get into the Christmas spirit. It really upset me knowing she couldn’t seem to find any on her own. She’s the one who has gotten me and Sam excited for the holidays in the past but with this crap going on with this virus, she lost all her usual excitement. This usually cheerful girl had turned the exact opposite of who she normally was. I couldn’t let her be this down during this special time of year, so I took it upon myself to cheer her up.

“Sammy!” I call out for my younger brother in the main room of the Bunker, hoping to see if he would want to help me out. He wasn’t in his room nor was he in the library; where the hell was he?

“Sammy!” I yell again, escalating my voice in hopes that would make a difference.

“Hey, what’s going on Dean?” Sam says, finally making his presence known.

“Dude, where the hell have you been?”

“I was out in the garage working on some of the cars and before you freak out, no, I didn’t touch Baby.”

“Good, cause otherwise, I’d have to kill you,” I jokingly say but I’m just left with his infamous bitch face.

“What do you want, Dean?” He asks, growing more frustrated with me.

“I need help with a project for (y/n).”

“What kind of project?” Sam’s annoyance melted into curiosity.

“She needs a little holiday cheer,” I say.

“She’s not in the holiday spirit?” He sounded just as surprised as I did the first time I heard how (y/n) was really feeling.

“No, she said with all crap happening with this stupid virus, she doesn’t see a reason to celebrate the holidays,” I explain.

“But no one here has gotten it; shouldn’t we celebrate that?” Sam suggests.

“That’s what I told her but she said that because so many people have died from COVID we shouldn’t be celebrating. And because a lot of places that normally do events for the holidays are canceled or closed, that just makes her feel less interested.”

Sam held a rather sad expression on his face, much similar to the one I had when I first spoke to (y/n).

“So, what are we going to do?” He asks.

“Well, I think we should go crazy with decorations this year. All the lights, garland, blow up decorations in the yard; the whole nine yards!” I say with all the excitement I felt from within.

However, Sam just gave me this look, as if to say he knew something I didn’t. I decided to press him about it.

“What’s that look for?”

“You may not be as smart as you think you are,” He said.

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” I’m slightly offended at this point.

“Let’s just say not everything is how it seems. You need to look deeper than just the surface,”

“Alright whatever, are you in or not?”

“Yes, I’m in.”

Sam tends to go around saying things that make him sound like a hippy or something. I guess that’s why he always liked that Mandela guy. But that didn’t matter right now; what matters is that he’s helping.

I normally don’t like playing festive music but for (y/n)’s sake, I thought why not? I found a speaker and hooked my phone up to it. Trying to find rock n roll Christmas music was harder than I thought. Finally, I found Santa Claus is Coming to Town by the Boss. Grabbing some boxes of decorations, I had found in one of the storage rooms in the Bunker, I started setting up the specially requested tree from (y/n). She always talked about getting an artificial tree because they make less of a mess than the real ones do and she had a certain style in her head she wanted to try. She wanted a white tree with colored lights and for some red garland to be wrapped around it so that’s what she got. Granted, I had to go to a few different stores to find a big one to set up in the War Room so when you walk in the Bunker, you’re immediately greeted by a giant tree! Starting with a base and working from there, I constructed it myself before Sam decided to join in and help to add the ornaments we found. There were boxes filled with some rather outdated designs but Sam insisted we keep them because he knew (y/n) would like them. Much like him, she is a history nerd so she would love the antique look but I also know she would want to include the ornaments she had from her childhood and some of the ones she’s bought recently. I smile to smile to myself as I think about her reaction. Eyes wide, face brighter, possibly jaw-dropping; her expressions were adorable. Yeah, yeah, I know, I find my best friend adorable, so what? So that isn’t typical of me but she brings that out in me. It doesn’t matter cause it’s completely under control and no one knows about it. Do I have ‘feelings’ for (y/n)? I don’t know but something was different. The further into decorating Sam and I got, the more he’d keep looking at me with that same look as before.

“Alright, what’s on your mind, Sammy?” I ask, attempting to get my younger brother’s attention but he was too focused on his decorating.

“Hmm?” He says nonchalantly.

“Why do you keep giving me these looks like, I don’t know, you’re keeping a secret or something from me and you’re dangling that above me so I can keep asking you about it, so what’s up? What do you know?”

Now Sam’s attention was fully on me. He stopped what he was doing and looked right at me. He cleared his throat and took a few steps back from the tree, indicating he wanted me to follow him. He sat at the Map table, motioning for me to sit across from him.

“Well, this seems to be a lot of work for someone,” he starts, referring to all the work I was doing to help cheer (y/n) up.

“She’s not someone, she’s family and this isn’t just for her; both of us could use some Christmas spirit. We haven’t had a normal Christmas since we were kids and even that was usually met with Dad being away on hunts. We had that one year in the crappy motel room that you set up, and I loved that, but this, this is our chance to go crazy with it,” I defend.

“I don’t think you’d go to the lengths you are now just for anyone.”

“I would do the same for you.”

“Someone outside this Bunker.”

“And? What’s your point?”

“My point is, there seem to be underlying motives for you doing all of this for (y/n).”

“Aside from just being nice?” I question. What the hell is he getting at?

“Yes, I think you may have feelings for (y/n).” Shit.

“Of course, I have feelings for her, she’s my best friend. I care for her, ‘feelings,’” I say, using air quotes as I try to blow off the fact that Sam was right on the money.

“No, romantic feelings,” he adds.

“What makes you say that?” I ask, trying to play his little game. I needed to know if it was that obvious.

“Well for one, all of this,” he says, motioning to the room around us, now completely decorated. I’ll be honest, it looks like Santa threw up holly jolly stuff in here but it’s for (y/n) and she loves Christmas.

“I already told you, I’m just trying to help out a friend.”

“Then explain the way you look at her, or your immediate concern for her when she hurts herself, even a tiny cut. You freak out as soon as she says ‘ow’ and yes, she does say it a lot, but she’s usually fine. But you rush to her side and won’t stop pestering her until she insists that she’s okay. Or how about when she comes to check on you when you wake up screaming from nightmares? You instantly become like a child; clinging to her as if she was going to leave you forever. And do you think she can ever say no to you? Of course not. So, she grabs her own pillow from her bed and joins you in yours. And I know all of that because I’ve seen her do it before and I’ve found you two sleeping in each other’s arms several times. You’re crazy about her and would do anything for her. At the snap of her fingers, you’d go running. You’re in love, Dean, and so is (y/n).”

“Look, regardless of any possible “feelings” I may or may not have, this is the right thing to do. She would do the same for either one of us if we felt like she had” I reason, to which Sam nods in agreement.

If anyone needed this boost of Christmas spirit, it was (y/n). The virus has hit her hard because she cares for others so much. She, unfortunately, has so many friends who have come down with it and one of her family members passed away from it. We were right when we said we were lucky because no one here in the Bunker got it, but too many people (y/n) cared about were sick and that’s why she struggled so much.

Once everything was finished, I decided it was time for the surprise. Turning down the hallway of bedrooms, I stopped at the door that had (y/n) written on it. She wanted to make her room her own when she moved in so hers was the only one with her name on the front. Knocking gently, I hear muffled sobs coming from the other side of the door.

“Hey sweetheart, you okay?” I say, pushing the door open to see her lying on her stomach, face buried in her pillows. When she mumbles a response of some kind, I walk to the side of the bed she was on, and place my hand on her back. She didn’t flinch at my touch, so I began rubbing soothing circles on her back, trying my hardest to comfort her as much as possible. Without really thinking, I reached for her and she flew into my awaiting arms. I won’t lie, I was surprised she was letting me be that affectionate towards her. Granted, we did have a rather “touchy,” “feely” relationship but this was different. With how I feel about her now, I noticed my behavior was a little different than it was before. I would hold her just a little tighter, my touch was a little bit softer and lingered just a bit longer. Not that I think she’d notice, especially at a time like this, but I tried anyway because now I knew how I felt. Something about seeing her vulnerable and relying on me for her support; meant a lot. I wasn’t sure if now was going to be the best time or not, but I think it’s now or never.

“Hey, come with me. I know what will cheer you up,” I say into her hair, my lips pressing loving kisses to her head. With her beautiful (y/e/c) eyes that were wet from her tears, they sparkled in a different way than they normally would. It made me want to kiss her right there but I had to hold back; I couldn’t risk ruining this moment by moving too fast. But she looked into my eyes and she nodded, needing a hand up so she could follow me. She walked close beside me, and her smaller hand fit into mine. I found myself smiling at the contact, no matter how small it was. We walked out to the War Room and just as I had thought, her eyes widened, her jaw had dropped, and a hand had come up to cover her mouth.

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Reader’s POV

“De-Dean, you, you did all this for me?” I asked once I was able to come back from my initial shock.

“Yeah. Well, when you said you needed help getting into the Christmas spirit and once you gave the okay on it, I knew we needed to go big on this,”

“We?” I ask.

“Yep, Sammy helped out too,”

“When you said you were going to help, I had no idea it was going to look like all of this! Dean, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me; thank you,” I say, still shocked by all the effort he put into it.

“Anything for you sweetheart,” he says. “Come look at the tree,” he speaks softly, leading me over to the tree. Taking a closer look, I notice the ornaments that gave off an antique look to them. The boys must’ve found these in one of the storage rooms and it was sweet of them to put them up on my behalf. I know Sam didn't mind them but for Dean, history was definitely considered boring so this meant something. As I circled the tree, Dean remained on the opposite side, following my lead slowly. He kept his eyes focused on my face, as my eyes bounced between all the different hidden gems of the tree. The very minute my eyes locked with his, he would look away. We played this little game for a bit before Dean walked up the stairs to the door to the entrance of the Bunker. I follow him and am met with tons of blow-up animated characters. There was a Snoopy, a Santa, a reindeer, a Minion, the Grinch, so many different ones. I laughed as one of the characters kept swaying in the wind, occasionally hitting Dean as he looked at the work he did. He grew frustrated and started to fight with the inflatable, causing more of a ruckus than was necessary.

It was at that very moment that I saw him in a new light. I wasn’t sure why this made any difference but it made me think about my relationship with Dean. We had always been friends, ever since we first met. I had just happened to witness the death of someone that was a victim of a Rugaru attack so he and Sam had to ask me questions about what I witnessed. Since then, the boys had vowed to always protect me because I was scared shitless after what I saw. I wasn’t a hunter or used to anything of the supernatural world until that day, so when the boys told me who they really were, I was scared. Scared that an incident like that would happen again, it was Dean who drew me into a hug and reassured me he would never allow that to come true. It was Dean who would stay up late at night with me when I had nightmares of that day. It was Dean who stood by my side when I was sick, or when mother nature called and I couldn’t function. It was Dean who would watch chick flick movies with me because I spent hours watching Clint Eastwood movies with him. It was Dean who I fell in love with and was certain he was the man I was destined to be with for the rest of my life. He stopped ‘fighting’ with the inflatables when he noticed me just staring at him. Maybe he grew self-conscious and that was why he approached me slowly, but when he was close enough to me, I spoke the truth to my best friend, bringing light to a lie I had been burying for all these years.

“I love you,” I say, holding back from jumping on him, as much as I wanted to in that very moment.

He seemed to have been in a different state of mind from what he was before my confession. He looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite make out the meaning behind. I wondered what was going through his head, the silence and stillness driving me up a wall. But just as I started to walk away, a hand had grasped around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. I turn back to face Dean, who was suddenly a lot closer to me, as he gently placed his forehead against mine.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that sweetheart, because I too, love you,” he said, voice barely louder than a whisper, but it spoke volumes to me. He let go of my wrist, that hand sliding up the length of my arm and up to the side of my face, where his thumb ran back and forth along my cheek. His other hand had gripped my hip, bringing me right up to his chest, and his eyes never trailed away from mine, except to occasionally falter down to my lips and back up again. In all his years of flirting and one-night stands, if someone were to tell me he would fall in love and he would take his time expressing that love to someone, I would’ve laughed right in their faces. I would say ‘Dean Winchester, capable of falling in love with someone? Impossible!’ But to be on the receiving side of that affection and sharing that affection towards him, some things are just destined to change. Ever so slowly, he moved his head closer to mine, allowing the tension of the moment to build, until he closed the space between our lips. Almost immediately, I responded, falling into a rhythm that was easy to come by. His lips, soft and full against mine, showed just how strong and powerful he was. He was in control of this moment; I just followed his lead. His strength and resilience he used in his fights against the world of darkness and those who wanted to cause harm, was showing itself in this kiss. Yet there was another side of him that was only shown to a few who were close to him. A softer, vulnerable side, that proved he was scared of whatever he was feeling. A side of uncertainty of his future, a sense of fear of failing to protect his younger brother and me. He held himself to a much higher standard than anyone else because he was older and he knew his father trusted him to be another version of him. And it broke my heart to see him struggle with the constant fear of disappointment. As best I could, I tried to kiss that pain away, hoping that he could tell I didn’t expect anything else but for him to be himself with me. He didn’t have to try to be perfect, he didn’t have to worry about disappointing anyone; all he needed to do was let himself just be.

“I love you, so much,” he says when we break the kiss.

“I love you too, Dean. But can we go inside, please? I’m freezing!” I say and we both laugh. He leans in to quickly kiss my lips again, before taking my hand in his and leading me back down to the Bunker.

When we stepped back down inside, Sam was sitting at the Map table, behind his laptop screen, typing away at the keys. He looked up when Dean let the door slam shut, a wide smile on his face.

“Merry Christmas, (y/n),” he says, standing up to hug me.

“Thank you so much for all this, Sam,” I say, standing on my tiptoes to hug the taller man.

“Well, I did just help out a bit but this was mostly Dean’s work.”

“I know, I think I’ve already thanked him pretty well for it,” I say, shooting the eldest Winchester a wink. Sam noticed and looked between his brother and me a few times, eyebrows raising in suspicion.

“Did something happen out there?” Sam asked, wondering what new development came from mine and Dean’s relationship.

“Let’s just say, we finally figured out what we felt towards one another and now, I guess, we’re now, together?” I say, looking to Dean, who just nods and smiles at me.

“Well, whatever this is, I am happy for you both. I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to figure it out without me having to get involved,” Sam said.

“Wait, you knew too?” I ask, surprised to know Sam was in on these feelings Dean had for me.

“It was a bit obvious, plus I’ve known Dean close to forty years so I can tell,” Sam said, smiling at me when he saw the blush form on my cheeks.

“I appreciate you not stepping in though, Sam. We had it figured out,” I say, trying to cover up the fact that we probably could’ve used more help.

“Yeah, it seemed like it,” Sam said, rolling his eyes but still smiling.

“Alright, alright, enough of that! (Y/N), go get in your pajamas; I have one more surprise for you,” Dean says. I can’t imagine what more Dean can do for me to get into the holiday spirit, but I do as he asks and head to my room.

Shutting the door behind me, I go to the dresser and open the second drawer from the top. Inside, I pick out a black, cotton tee shirt and red and green plaid pajama bottoms, to make up a holiday outfit. Brushing my hair back and out of my face, I tie it up in a loose bun and spritz just a bit of perfume on; had to smell nice for my man. My phone suddenly lights up, showing a new text awaiting my attention. I unlock the screen and press the messages icon. It opens to reveal ‘Dean’ and a small number one on the right side. I tap the message and I can see the entirety of the message.

“Hey baby, one thing I forgot to mention, grab a few pillows and blankets; it’s rather cold outside. I love you.”

What is this boy planning? I still do what he asks, grabbing all the pillows and blankets my two arms could carry and struggle to open the door. I teeter down the hall, desperately hoping I don’t bump into anything.

“Oh shit (y/n), here let me help!” Dean yells when I come back out to the Map room. “I didn’t mean all this!”

“I-I didn’t know how many to take so I just grabbed all I could,” I shrug, to which Dean just laughed at me.

“My silly girl,” He says, kissing my lips just enough to leave me wanting more but not enough to cause a distraction from his plan.

“Set the pillows down here and the blankets down on the other end,” Dean instructs, asking for the comfort items to be sprawled out of the floor. The extra blankets I brought made for a less than perfect bed but the company was more what I was there for. A fire had been lit and all the lights in the room had been turned off, except for all the Christmas decorations. Dean turned back to me after he finished illuminating the room with gentle light. It was just bright enough for us to see each other; his eyes reflected the lights from the tree and the fireplace as we lay and held one another. No words passed between us for a while, just the low sound of the crackling fireplace, as our eyes did all the communicating, we needed.

“I’m so happy that you are here with me and after all this time” Dean finally speaks up, brushing some hair out of my face.

“I’m happy too. I can’t believe we’re finally together,” I say, going in for another kiss, this one longer and slower than in the recent past. This, much like our first kiss, held all our feelings towards one another. Kissing Dean was something I would never get used to but I would cherish each kiss like it was our first; afraid it would be the last.

“So, did this help?” Dean asks, referring to his holiday plan.

I laugh, hiding my face in my hands, heat rising on my cheeks. I was still in shock that he did all this work for me but I loved him even more for it.

“Oh yes, very much. Thank you, Dean. This is what Christmas means to me, love,” I sing. “I love you so, so much.”

“The world and so much more to my girl. Merry Christmas, baby,” he says.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.”

Tag list: @tloveswriting @akshi8278 @fandom-princess-forevermore @angeredcrow @440mxs-wife @calaofnoldor @thinkinghardhardlythinking @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2 @suckmysupernatural @awesomesusiebstuff @hobby27 @spnjediavenger @polina-93 @deansmyapplepie @thwiso @marvelfansworld

#dean winchester #dean #dean girls #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fandom #supernatural family #dean fluff #dean angst #Holidays #christmas

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years ago

Text

GF - Warming Comforts

For @lemonfodrizzlecake

~~~~~~~~~~

The freezing water splashed against the sturdy boat, creating a beautiful song of the sea. It was pitch black outside, though only four in the afternoon, but with it being winter on the Arctic Ocean, sunlight was a rare treat. In fact, Ford had calculated that they would not see any sunshine until the last day of February unless they traveled south.

While it was true that he was more sensitive to the cold and always wore several thick layers to contain more body heat (why else would he wear a turtleneck and trenchcoat in the middle of summer), there was something awakening about the bitter icy atmosphere, how it made his every breath visible, how it pricked his cheeks and nose, turning them red, how if wind cursed them it would send shivers down his spine and ruffle his charcoal-gray fluff for hair.

Ford smiled and peered through his telescope again, the night sky being cloudless and perfect for star mapping. While he appreciated and missed the Northern Lights, it was difficult to study the representatives of Abraham’s descendants with so much commotion in the air, so the aged scientist took advantage of the quiet inky black sky and used his lantern to make a map of the stars, a fun activity that Ford was sure the children would want to see when he was finished. He pulled himself away from the telescope and began to make some marks on the dark-blue paper on the railing.

“BOO!”

“GAH!”

Ford jumped from fear at the sudden noise and misplaced his footing on the slippery dock. With one hand stupidly on his hip for a weapon due to reflexes, his body was too busy panicking to keep him from toppling off the boat and down into the sea. He heard that voice yell again - but this time in pure fear rather than trying to put fear into someone else - just before he splashed into the freezing water.

Every nerve in his body screamed in agony, lost of all his hands and face. His torso, protective with an undershirt, two sweaters that Mabel had made for him, and a thick blue hoodie, were still somewhat warm, but it wouldn’t be long until the water would seep through and freeze his chest and stomach, but right now his legs and arms were in quite a bit of pain. Ford wanted to gasp in shock, but he was quick to realize that would mean breathing in sea water, so he focused his pain into moving upward and soon he broke the surface and coughed as he wiped his face dry of beads of water behind his glasses.

“STANFORD! Stanford, I’m sorry, are you okay?!”

“Stanley, I’m fine.” Ford chuckled; he was initially extremely irritated but the way his twin was freaking out and was completely resentful for a small prank gone wrong made up for it. Really, he was just cold. No permanent harm done. “Just throw down the rope, will you please?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” Stan sounded like he was calming down, but Ford wouldn’t be surprised if he was shaking as much as he was right now.

Stan, meanwhile, was scrambling for the rope and working to throw it down so his brother could climb back up. Trust him to only intent to make his brother jump and prove a point that his tunnel vision when working is really that bad, only to plunge the brainiac into the Arctic Ocean. He could still fix this; once Ford is safe he can change into dry clothes and sit by the wood-burning stove with a cup of coffee, the heating pad, and some blankets. Hey, at least it was a legitimate excuse not to push himself so hard.

The youngest of the two by fifteen minutes tossed down one half of the rope and held on tight, brazing himself for the sudden weight to cling on. “Here you go, Sixer.” A few seconds passed and no response came. No call, no tug on the rope, not even a splash to clue Stan in that his brother was even trying to grab the rope. “Ford, you okay?”

Well, no, he wasn’t okay, he was freezing cold, but he would be soon. Worried the nerd was way too cold to speak or move, Stan picked up the lantern and shined it down to see the ocean that surrounded them. His heart plunged into his stomach when he didn’t see Ford in the water. All that was visible to his eyes were some icebergs that decorated the sea. “Stanford! Talk to me!” Stan demanded.

Ford might be a jerk, but not this big of a jerk. Stan quickly shed his beanie and long coat (he needed something dry to wrap his brother in when they came back), then he tied the rope to the dock, letting it trail down into the sea, and he grabbed a flashlight from out of his coat. No sense in jumping into the ocean if he couldn’t see. All within five seconds of realizing his twin was nowhere to be seen, Stan dived into the ocean.

He ignored the way he nerves howled in agony and shined the flashlight every which way underwater to find Ford. He squinted at a dark shape and swam towards it, a little too far away to see, but then as the light shined on scaly skin Stan got a glimpse of what he was up against and it took everything not to waste his breath growling. Speaking breath, he was running out of it. He swam up to the surface, directly below his enemy to recharge his batteries to fight the best he could, then he dove again, this time more determined than ever to not break the surface again if his twin wasn’t doing so with him.

Ford’s neck and limbs were bound in the tentacles of a giant squid. Unless Stan was mistaken, this was the same giant squid that greeted them as dinner when they first began their journey. Didn’t this gross unwrapped sushi have anything better to do than stock them like a big crazy fangirl? Stan dove down as the monster hissed angrily at the intruder. Ford was still struggling, but he was slowing down and his eyes were shut.

Stan pulled out his pocket knife and slashed a tentacle and tried to free his brother. The squid squealed in pain and let Ford go, who was weak and limp from the lack of warmth and oxygen. Quickly delivering a left hook to the squid’s big eye, Stan wrapped one of Ford’s arms around his neck and swam upward as fast as he could.

The moment they broke the surface they both gasped and coughed furiously. Stan used all of his strength to hoist Ford towards the rope, who grasped it and began to climb with Stan’s help. Thankfully they both managed to climb up onto the boat, soaking wet and horribly cold as a gust of wind blew by, but they were alive. That was the important thing.

On his hands and knees, Stan grabbed his coat and helped the quivering Ford out of his dripping wet blue hoodie and into the dry coat. “C’mon, Sixer, let’s get you warm.”

Hazed and weaker than he would like to be, Ford mindlessly nodded and let his brother take charge. Stan was put on protective auto-pilot, and despite being cold and weak he did not rest as he walked them both inside the small cabin of the boat and helped his brother get well.

The wood-burning stove cracked with fire in the corner in the kitchen, the couch right by it for cozy relaxation. Stan made his brother stand next to it and he quickly threw in three more planks of wood into the fire to make it hotter and fueled for a long time. Stan then fished out Ford’s thickest pair of yellow-plaid pajamas and fuzzy knitted socks (Mabel never rests) and made Ford change while Stan turned on the heating pad and decided that now was as good a time as any for dinner. Rather than coffee, Stan stood only a few feet away from his twin as he fixed some tomato soup and dug out some bread and made grilled cheeses to go with it, keeping an eye on Ford’s skin and how it was slowly not looking as pale as it did.

Ford sat on the couch as his mind was slowly coming back to himself. It then suddenly came to him in an instant that Stan was still wet and freezing, risking a cold if he didn’t change quickly. “Stanley, you knucklehead!” He scolded and jumped up from the couch, leaving the damp coat on the floor. He marched over and swiped the wooden spoon from Stan’s hand and pointed to the doorway leading downstairs for the bedroom. “Go change! You’ll catch your death in this cold.”

Stan snorted and rolled his eyes with a smile. “Whatever, I’m fine, I wasn’t in there as long as you.”

“I don’t care, go change!”

“Alright, Ma.” Stan punched his shoulder lightly as he walked off to change. While the warmth of the hot stove as he cooked did help, he couldn’t deny how much better he would feel to be in cozy pajamas rather than freezing wet clothes.

Soon in Mabel’s pink goodbye sweater (it’s cold, he has to) and dark-gray sweatpants with socks and slippers. Ford turned off the stove and poured the tomato soup into two mugs and had the sandwiches on plates. He nodded to the couch by the fire and instructed firmly, “Sit.”

Stan shrugged and did as he was told as he swiped the fuzzy hand-knitted blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over his lap. Once again Ms. Mabel Pines was responsible for something cozy and warm in the Stan O’ War II. It had come in the mail around the holidays, a thick blue and green blanket that looked like it had been knitted with expensive wool. It was a huge blanket that could easily cover three grown men and Stan honestly thought it was his grandniece’s best work thus far.

He chuckled and shook his head as Ford joined him by his side. “Does Mabel ever just relax? You know, sit around and do nothing like a kid should?”

“It runs in the family.” He quipped and let Stan throw the blanket over his lap as he handed him his mug of soup and placed the plates on their laps. Stan smiled at Ford, hoping for one in return, but he was startled to find a scowl on his brother’s face. “Now as for you, what on Earth were you thinking?!” He scolded.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and winced. “I know I know, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Completely irresponsible! Totally reckless! What am I supposed to do to myself if you had gotten hurt, Stanley!? Yes, I know how strong you are and you can handle a monster or two, but really!”

His parental scolding continued for a few minutes while Stan smiled at himself and sipped his soup. This wasn’t the first time Ford had taken this approach to being “angry” at Stan for saving his life or doing something even slightly dangerous. They were sailing in the middle of the Arctic Ocean for Mose’s sake, of course it’s going to be dangerous, that’s what makes it exciting, but that never stopped Ford from lecturing him every time his neck was at risk for Ford’s behalf. Stan had learned to just let Ford rant and go with it until he had a chance to remind him that if the tables would turn Ford would be just as stupid, and then all that would leave Ford to do is mumbled how Stan is a better man than him and needs to continually prove him right.

By the time Stan was quietly munching on his grilled cheese, Ford was catching his breath, and Stan said collectively, “Yeah, yeah, I hear you, Sixer, just relax, okay? On second thought, don’t, cuz all that energy is warming you up.”

His red cheeks, Ford rolled his eyes and mumbled something in his mug that Stan only picked up because he had heard Ford say it countless times. “Don’t make me lose you again, Stanley.”

Stan snorted and rested his head on his brother’s shoulder to help keep him warm. “Never gonna happen. You’re stuck with me forever, Poindexter.”

“Good.”

#GF #gravity falls #i think i forgot how to title #oh well #requests #fanfiction #ford pines #stan pines #sea grunks

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fluffblurbs · 5 years ago

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cal meeting reader’s parents for the first time on a family holiday? he’s nervous at first, but quickly loved by everyone and they spend a nice vacation together

“Why are you so nervous?” You laughed at a frantic Calum who was busy trying to plan an outfit for Christmas. You had decided to continue your tradition of wearing an ugly sweater, leggings, and fuzzy socks which always got a laugh out of your little nieces and nephews. “I want them to like me, (y/n). I know how much family means to you and I want to be apart of that...” he babbled with his head sticking out of the closet. You stood up from your place on his bed to gently hug him from behind. “They will love you. You worry too much. Now, why don’t you call 5 Seconds of Summer's fashion icon to help you, so we can work on this pie. Which by the way, I really would’ve rather you signed us up for bringing flowers not baking...” you replied while pressing a kiss on his back. “Come on! Baking can be fun and it’ll show I put in effort. Brownie points, love!” “Oi! If it’s so much fun, then why don’t you bake it all and I’ll watch. I love watching you cook. Plus I wouldn’t want duke to feel left out.” You said as you strolled into the kitchen to prepare the ingredients.

As the pie was baking in the oven, the two of you were cuddled on the couch, duke on your lap sleeping, you whispered, “they really will love you. Just be you, that’s how I fell in love with you.” In a raspy tone, “I just got lucky with you and I hope I never stop being lucky.” You sank further into his embrace feeling butterflies. However, you began to smell a slight smoke smell which caused you to try to remember if either of you had turned on the timer. “Umm, did you turn on the timer, (y/n)?” “I thought you did...” you both looked at each other dear building in each other’s eyes before racing over to the oven. ... “Bubba, stop worrying! You’re freaking duke out.” The small family of three had finally made its way up to your family home with a beautifully bought pie. “I still can’t believe you convinced me to dress duke up... this is just shameful and disrespectful to the almighty duke.”

“Shut up, you thought he was cute. You even posted him on your story. So please kindly kiss my butt.”

“Yes ma’am. Although I’m afraid it’s going to have to wait until we get home. I really do want to make a good impression on your parents.” With a shake of your head and giggle you opened the door, eyes widening when you saw your parents already waiting. “Mom dad, this is Calum. Cal, these are my parents.” Your mom waited until after your dad firmly shook your boyfriend's hand before wrapping him in a light hug. “Thank you for taking care of our little one. Oh! Pie, I can already see your dad approving of him.” She said with a wink to the two of you.

With a sigh of relief, Calum looked down to see you sending him a beaming smile. Wrapping your arm around Calum's bicep, you brought him to meet other members of your family. Each one giving him a warm sense of belonging. You quickly found yourselves separated, you with your siblings/ cousins catching up over a card game, Calum with the older males in your family sharing embarrassing stories of you (but when you would glance over they would quickly change the topic to work), and duke chasing the little kids. His elf costume not hindering his speed caused many giggles and squeals.

A smile seemed to be permanently stuck on your face. “He’s a good one, (y/n). Don’t let go, especially of that dog” your sister told you with a bark of laughter. “That’s the plan... but then again the plan was for me to beat you all, but here I am, haven't won one game,” you said with a pout. “I think I’m going to join the boys if you'll excuse me.”

“I’m gonna get a drink, do you want anything or want to come with me?” you asked once you reached Calum. “Just water, bub. I think your cousins require major cultural reset when it comes to music. Before you come back can you check on duke?” You heard as felt his lips on your ear before giving you a peck on the side of your head. When you reached the fridge, your mom who followed you gave you a tight squeeze. “I like him. He treats you well, right?” “Like a queen.” After a moment, “thank you. He was worried you guys wouldn’t like him, and it means a lot that you approve, mom. I really do love him. I’m sorry we didn’t come around earlier or more, but with our jobs and being in a different city...” “We understand. Now, I suggest you two go get in line to eat before everyone else does!” ... “Thank you for coming. They loved you,” you said as you got inside the car. “Thank you for inviting me. I see where you get your quirks from now.” He said as he grasped your thigh. “Oh shut up! Let’s go to yours, this little one is tired.” “Our home.” He corrected.

𝘪 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘨𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺... 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘶𝘸𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘭𝘶𝘷 𝘹𝘰𝘹𝘰

#calum hood #calum hood imagine #5sos calum #Calum Thomas Hood #calum 5sos #5 secs of summer #5 second of summer imagines #calum imagine #calum #calum blurb #calum fluff #calum x reader

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thewestmeetingroom · 4 years ago

Text

Planting Seeds

Broadcast Jan. 2, 2021

SPEAKERS

Braeden, Janine, Rebekah, Sabrina, Melissa

[Intro Music]

Braeden: Hello and welcome to The West Meeting Room. We are broadcasting on CiUT 89.5 FM at Hart House where we are taking up space on Dish with One Spoon Territory. My name is Braeden, and I'll be hosting the show today. Welcome to 2021 everyone. I hope this finds you somewhere safe and taking good care. A few weeks ago, we had a virtual meeting with our team of co-producers for the show. And before the pandemic we used to meet up in the studio once a week for these really beautiful and open-hearted roundtable discussions. I've been missing deeply sharing that space with everyone in person this past year. So for our last gathering of the year, we created a virtual Roundtable. So for this first show of 2021, we'll be bringing you into our last conversation of 2020 in the West Meeting Room. So grab a cup of tea and come join us. Joining me in the studio - Do you want to introduce yourself?

Sabrina: Hi. I'm Sabrina. I feel like I'm a tired voice. [laughs] You might have heard me a lot. But yeah, I'm Sabrina.

Rebekah: I can go next. I'm Rebekah. I'm not as tired. But um, yeah, I'll probably take a nap after this.

Janine: Hi, I'm Janine. I'm really tired, too, but on a sugar rush. So god helped me today. Thank you. (laughs)

Melissa: Hi, I'm Melissa. I'm new to the party. So I am very excited to be here, but also very tired.

Braeden: Well, thank you all, this tired bunch, for joining me in our zoom studio today. Um, just wanted to, Yeah, just have some casual conversation to round out the year. But I guess, I did have in mind to maybe start with Sabrina because we were talking a bit about snail mail. And I know you put together a package of letters for your business. And I just wanted to ask like, Yeah, what were like - what sort of inspired that and what is maybe drawing you to like this slower form of connection and communication?

Sabrina: Yeah, I feel like this is like a mix of business strategy and also like genuine inspiration. I created a product called Letters from the Tarot, which isn't super unique by any means. Like a lot of people do this in different iterations. But basically what that was, is like me going to my tarot cards and pulling just in general, like a general message, and then taking a picture of it in like a Polaroid style thing. So that that person had like a physical representation of the card, and then writing out their reading, like on proper letter paper, and like putting it in an envelope and making it like a super analog process. Because I usually do readings like online. One of the reasons for this is because the holiday seasons are coming up, and I wanted a physical product that would be like really good to put in some stocking stuffers. So that's like the business perspective. But also, I feel like there's a lot of screen fatigue going on. I was like really excited for the prospect of, there's like a restaurant down the street from where I live. And they're like, super, like spooky and like gamer-esque kind of thing. And I was like really excited to like proposition them over at Halloween and being like, I'd love to like sit in a corner booth in your restaurant and just like do live readings. And I'm like, I just get paid with tips and you can like bring people in or whatever. And then I can't do that because of the pandemic and everything. So it's like, how can I reproduce that kind of physical experience and like bringing those messages that way. And it was really nice, because as we were discussing earlier, I'm notorious for over-committing myself, always. And as I was putting it together, I kind of, I got a wholesale order for them. So someone like bought a bunch of them to put in their store. And at that point, it was like at the point of no return I had to like buy all the materials and I was like, Hey, we're doing this. And midway through I was just like, this is too big like I can't do this. I've never done this before what if everything I do is gonna let this store down. I already bought all this stuff like this is terrible. I had like 18 assignments due and I was like freaking. And then I finally got to the point where I was just sitting down and like writing the letters. And it was like, super nice and meditative. And then I got like washi tape and stickers and I like did them all up. And then I put them in the envelope. And then I did a wax seal, which is like much easier than I thought it was going to be. So I learned a new skill and just going through all the process and like putting all the letters together, it was a great way to disconnect from my screen. It was a great way that I hope I can intuitively connect with just like people in the community in a way where they kind of have like a physical reminder of that reading. But also that like allows them to disconnect from their screens for a little bit as well. And maybe do some intuitive reflective work, just kind of like on their own with actual paper. And it was nice to write things. So yeah, that's kind of like the story of that. In a nutshell. I hope I answered your question.

Braeden: Yeah, no, that's nice. It touched on it really beautifully. And yeah, you've got, you definitely inspired me to like, bust out the wax seal that's been in my drawer that I just like impulse bought at like a stationery store, and then never did anything with. So I think this is the season for snail mail. And that's why, yeah, I really wanted to connect with you about that.

Sabrina: Oh, another point real quick, too, was that the other inspiration for this too, was with electronic readings, it's very much just me. But the sheer amount of supplies that I needed to do this required me to go out and buy things. And this was also an avenue for me to reinvest into the community. So all of my like materials are from, or not all of them completely all of them, but the majority of the materials, I made sure to look and try to source as much as I can from like local Toronto businesses. So most of my stationery stuff is from this place called Wonder Pens, which is like, in the West. And they're owned by the like this couple, who I believe are also people of colors, so I'm also trying to like uplift like BIPOC and other marginalized communities. And then I got like one of the cameras that I was using from this place called Henry's, which is like an independent photography shop in Toronto. So that was another thing too, was like a physical product means that I could get physical tools and buy them from other small businesses.

Braeden: That's very cool. Thank you for sharing. Maybe in keeping with thinking about like analog and slowing down and time away from screens, and just sort of like, I don't know, connecting with tactile things in a meditative way - I think, Melissa, I'll toss it over to you. I noticed that there's a lot of foccacia popping up on your Instagram feed if you don't mind me sharing that? I wondered if you had any reflections on that that you could share with us?

Melissa: Yeah, you would be right, we have been making like two foccacia a week, which is like not good, because that means we've also been eating two a week. And I mean it's, I guess it could be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. But yeah, I'm not sure if anybody is familiar with Claire Saffitz. She used to work at Bon Appetit. And now she's doing her own independent thing, which is awesome. But yeah, we took her focaccia recipe that she posted kind of as like the breakout on her YouTube channel. And we, my partner and I, aren't super big breadmakers, which actually thinking about that is a lie, because I do have a sourdough starter in my fridge. But yeah, we thought we'd give foccacia a shot, because in all honesty, I don't think I had ever even eaten it before. So I was like, might as well just make it and try it all at once. And it is very therapeutic. In terms of slowing down, I mean, obviously, you do need to rely on the screen a little bit to like, watch the video and take your notes and stuff. But once you're there, it's a lot of waiting, which I'm not very good at. I'm not a super patient person. So I think that it's a good exercise for me to make things like bread where you are forced to wait. And, you know, if you don't wait and you get impatient, bad things can happen to your bread. So it's a really good exercise for me. And if you ever get a chance to make focaccia when you get to the dimpling part, where you have to like press down the dough, you will never feel anything like that in your life. It is amazing. And the better, like the more you you let your dough proof and like the bigger it is. We also realized the first time we made it, we didn't put enough water. So the second time we made it, it was that much fluffier. And even that, like even if you don't eat bread, I would make the bread and dimple it so that you can feel it and then gift it to somebody because it's amazing. So yeah, that's kind of a way that we've been, I guess turning off and kind of spending some nice time together. Which is great. So yeah, we've been eating a lot of bread, you would be right in saying that my feed is all foccacia now.

Braeden: No, it's wonderful. I really enjoyed it. So, yeah. What about you, Rebekah? Janine? Are there like some tactile analog screens-free activities that you're doing? Or maybe, or maybe thinking about doing in these coming weeks of hopefully getting some some rest and some time away from work?

Rebekah: Yeah, absolutely. When you mentioned snail mail earlier, like with Sabrina, I was thinking like, over this entire summer, I actually also did a snail mail campaign where, because I was back home with my parents after having left Canada because the lockdown, I spent a lot of time like writing letters back and forth, like people I hadn't talked to in a really long time. I wrote letters to my cousins. I wrote letters to like classmates from like university and classmates from high school. And it was just like, really therapeutic. And that act of waiting. Like Melissa said, I'm not a very patient person. So that idea of like having to be patient for like the mail to be delivered. And then, you know, checking the mailbox every day thinking like, Oh, is it here? Like is the letter here? I don't know. I felt like SpongeBob in that moment, just like constantly waiting by the mailbox, just like for something to come. And then I also was staring at the stack of cards that I have sitting next to my computer on my desk that I bought on a whim because I was like, You know what, maybe we'll do like holiday gift - like holiday card ideas, like send out to friends and family. Um, haven't gotten around to that, because this semester has not permitted me to do so yet. But I think that that's something that I'm going to try to pick back up again. Because like Sabrina said, it's like really therapeutic for me to like, write to people, and then the idea of waiting. I just love getting something in the mailbox. Like, I think that's really fun. So, yeah, and another tactile thing. I'm just like constantly writing in my journal. Like, I always joke that like, my journal is going to be turned to a memoir one day. But like, I think I'm like actually serious about it. Now at this point, I'm not writing for other people still, but like, I'm very much thinking in that historian brain and like wanting to document like my life during this pandemic over the course of this year, because I've learned a lot about myself. I grew a lot, challenged myself a lot. And so I think it'll be a really cool way to like, look back, like during this time especially because this - time is fake - But like, especially looking back over this year, like, time has gone by so fast and so slow at the same time. Like February is right around the corner. And I'm thinking like the last time I went out and had fun was for my birthday, which was in February of last year. And that's like two months away. So not really sure what happened between now and then but it just keeps going by so I think a journal will be a really cool way to like, share that with my future family. You know, like you're learning about 2020 in school. Well, let me crack open a journal for you. And I'll tell you about what was actually happening. So yeah, that's kind of where I'm at.

Braeden: Thank you for sharing. Janine, what about you?

Janine: I feel like, during this time, I've gotten a lot more in touch with my creative side. Like the past month, I think I was super stressed. And one way that I kind of, like kind of took care of myself because I don't want to say self care. I want to just be like, Yeah, I was not doing well and it wasn't like a skincare routine. It was like, I felt like I was losing my voice for a bit because I was working like so hard on things to please other people that I kind of lost my creative voice a bit. And so I created this photo essay and I interviewed a lot of people around me about their experiences and about their lives about different themes. And that made me really happy. And I think that going back to my journalistic side, that's a lot more of just listening to people and talking about things in a more abstract way has made me feel more myself. So I want to do more of that. I want to explore, like photo essay type projects. Obviously podcasts, but even like just poetry. I feel like sometimes we work, work, work, work work, and we forget that our internal voice is still there. And I want to do projects that are true to myself as well. Because sometimes I get sucked into this idea that um you know, I have to be the perfect package of like a 4.0 student and a perfect daughter, a perfect sister, a perfect whatever. And I end up losing myself in the process. So doing projects like this really make me happy.

Braeden: That's it. That's all my questions. [laughs]

Rebekah: I was gonna say like, Braeden, what about you? Have you been linked in with any like tactile things?

Braeden: I feel like I did kind of get into a flow with cooking. I feel like the past couple weeks, there is something about like - I feel like it's so boring - but just like chopping vegetables. Like I can just turn my brain off. And not like, I mean - I'm sure all of you wrestle with this - like work is showing up in your dreams and like, it just completely hijacks your brain space. And, and I find like when I'm cooking, it's just the smells and I'm chopping, you know, 1000 carrots. What's really nice, I think, that's helped me get into this ritual - I get a Good Food Box from Foodshare, which is a really amazing organization, every Thursday. And it's just like a signal to my brain that I have to like - it kinda reminds me - I used to work, I've worked in a lot of restaurants as a cook. And, you know, you have your delivery days. And you just, like you just cook, or cut, chop, like 1000 things of everything. And so, yeah, every Thursday, I just chop a ton of vegetables. And I can just - it just feels like the only time that my brain shuts off from the things that I'm stressed about, or like my to do lists. And I'm just, I feel like fully present. And then I get a great nourishing meal out of it. So yeah, I feel like I'm actually also doing something nice for myself that is nourishing and generative. So yeah, that's been really nice. Thanks for asking.

Janine: I love that you guys love doing things with your hands. And like, that's a form of therapy. For me, it's the opposite. Like I hate, like cutting things up for cooking and stuff like that. Like for me, I find a lot of comfort in stillness. And I feel like, granted I've burned down the kitchen once before or almost burnt down the kitchen trying to cook. So there's some bad experiences with that. But like, generally, I've just been having a lot of walks in trails and just forcing myself to, you know, just sit and journal and write or like, think of the first thing that pops into my mind. And I feel like, I don't know, I really love that you guys - like we each have different ways of expressing ourselves and different coping mechanisms. And I think, Melissa, it's funny that you mentioned foccacia, because I only learned about that yesterday. I didn't know what it was until yesterday. But my mom is also a bit big on making breads. I just for some reason, I am too scared to try it myself. I think if I tried it myself, it would go terribly bad.

Melissa: You should definitely try it, I promise you, it will not go poorly. My only expert tip for you is don't forget the salt because I forgot the salt yesterday. And it does make a difference. But you should try it. It's really easy. And I can send you the video. And if it doesn't work out, then just slather some dip on it and dip it in balsamic vinegar. And it'll be fine. You can't mess it up, I promise.

Sabrina: I think, too, there's like salience. And like, say your thing, like just try it. And like see, especially when it comes to bread. And I know especially in the everyone like being at home people are reconnecting to like growing plants. And like everyone's like baking bread and like doing these very kind of like slower tasks that take time. And I think something that I keep thinking about too is this post I saw an Instagram, which is not unique to that person, because I think it's just a general thing. But like "the day you plant the seed is not the day that you like harvest the fruit." And I think too, like we're talking about, like work showing up in our dreams and like having these expectations. And I think moving back to these things where it's like especially when it comes more to plants, I'm thinking more to plants, the philosophy like your breathing life into something that's like also its own thing. And sometimes things don't work out. And like that's okay. And even with bread, like honestly, sometimes the breads rising, and then it collapses. Like, it doesn't want to hold all that air in you know what I mean? L ike I don't - I mean I kind of subscribe to a form of animism. So I think there's life in all things. But I do think the life in bread is different than the life in like plants. But I think that's just like more of a testament to like, not everything can be controlled, or like confined into like a small test, test-case box. And sometimes things just kind of like, do run their course. And it's up to you to just kind of adapt and accept that and like wait and see how things crop up in time. I think there's virtue in that as well. Like learning to like live more slowly and like see what happens.

Rebekah: Yeah, that's actually a really cool idea that like something that I've been trying to reflect more about recently is, you know, trying to like - this year has thrown so many curveballs in like many, like many ways than one and so the idea of like not really knowing what the final product will be like, and kind of like you said, Sabrina, like, you're planting seeds and like, you have to wait for them to grow and like see what kind of options and stuff kind of come out of that. And I'm in the process of like applying to different programs right now. And everyone's like, well, what's your number one choice? Like, where do you want to go? And I'm like, you know what, I'm just, I'm just planting seeds right now. Like, I'm just trying to, like, see and wait and not trying to get my hopes up too high. And just trying to like, become more comfortable with like, living in this ambiguous like, not being able to plan my life out for like, five or 10 years kind of thing. Um, over the summer, I actually like bought a stick and poke tattoo kit. As like a whim like, everyone's out here making foccacia or like making sourdough and was like, You know what, I'm gonna learn how to tattoo myself. So why not? Um, that was my quarantine project. And I did this one tattoo. It's like, what is it called, like a crystal ball. I tattooed it on my ankle. And I just really like the idea of a crystal ball. Because you're always trying to like, see into the future. Like, you're always trying to look and like, figure out what's coming next. And that was my entire shtick over the summer. I was like, what's coming next? When am I coming back to Toronto? What am I doing after this year? Like, how - what is life going to look like? And things were changing every two weeks. Like you couldn't really plan for it into the future. Like you had no idea what was going to happen next month. And even now my mom's like, when am I gonna see you? I'm like, You know what? I can only think till the end of December. I can't think past that right now. But yeah, looking at that crystal ball literally reminds me like, okay, you're always trying to look and see what's coming next. And like, of course, it's good to have a plan. I'm a planner. Like, it is what it is. But I'm just trying to like, remind myself like, it's fine. If you don't know exactly what's happening next. You are not supposed to that's like the really cool thing about like, this whole life thing or whatever. Yeah, I don't know, I think crystal balls are a really cool way to monument that and I got a really sick tattoo out of it. So yeah.

Janine: I kind of feel the same way. Like, I feel like I've, I've always like, wanted to control everything in my life and wanted my plans to work out a certain way. And even though I'm really young, I still feel like, that's been a part of me, since I was really young. I've always kind of wanted to be an overachiever. Never really was, but always had that intention. And I feel like, as we're graduating next year, next semester, I feel this sense of like calmness knowing that I don't know what my next step is. And I like that. I like that, you know, I'm going into this new chapter of my life, this new phase, where I'm not sure what's gonna come of it. But what I do know is I kind of - it's kind of cheesy - but I want to live a value-based life as opposed to like a goal-oriented life. And that doesn't mean that I don't have ambitions, but I am trying to focus more on the day to day values that I instill in my work and my friendships and my character, as opposed to like, you know, associating my worth with a certain career or a certain job, or, you know, whatever it is. I just, I'm kind of tired of like, putting my worth up against, like, my ambitions. And it's good to have a healthy balance with that. But right now, I want to take a break from that next year. And that's my, like, seed that I'm trying to grow next year. Yeah,

Sabrina: I feel like what you're talking about when it comes to like, future planning is really salient. I was literally in my apartment yesterday talking to Max like, Okay, so we'll graduate in June, and then we can like rent our new place, and we're going to foster dogs for a year and then we're gonna foster children. And I'm like, trying to figure out like my three year plan, because, you know, I came into it thinking that I was going to go to law school, which is not completely off the table, but I'm definitely not going to go right after graduation. And this is gonna be like, the first time in my life where like, I'm not - I'm like ending that - I'm ending a year, but I'm not knowing that I'm going to go into another year, you know what I mean? Like, I don't have that structure of school telling me like, where you're going to be and like, what you need to read and what you need to do, and it's a full time thing. And I was ready to like, until 24, just like have that structure. And then I got into this audio thing. And then I was like, I'm not gonna go through the torture that is professional school. Now it's like, literally, I turned to my partner and I was like, I just don't - I'm, it's just hitting me that I need to figure out like, what am I going to do for the rest of the entirety of my life? Like starting in May, it's just going to be - like I'm not taking summer classes to get somewhere else. I'm not in pursuit of a degree or any sort of like outside metric of like something that like someone else deemed I need to get or like to get to something. I just can, I don't know, I can like move somewhere if I want to. I can like try buy a house. I can't buy a house. But like, theoretically, I could buy a house if I had the means, you know what I mean? Like, if we were in a different world, I could buy a van and like, go live in the woods somewhere. Like, I'm just like, freaking out. So yeah, I think I need to plant some seeds, but then like, let them grow. And stop trying to like envision what the life, what my life would be like having those fruits yet when I don't even know what seeds I'm planting.

Melissa: I think that's such like, everybody's kind of echoed the same sentiments that like, you know, we all kind of have an idea. And then the pandemic had other ideas. And now nobody really knows what's happening. And obviously, nobody wants to be in a pandemic. But I think something that has come out of this is like, it's a very humbling experience for a lot of people. But I think especially for students, and especially for students who are, you know, like, everybody's kind of set already. Like, they have goals in mind. And they have a schedule, and they have a life plan and whatever. And the pandemic came around and was like, actually, none of that is on the table anymore. And, like, obviously, that's distressing. And a lot of people who have, you know, mental health issues are really struggling right now. And like there are a lot of negatives. But I think that the one thing that it's really teaching people is you, you can't know what's happening. And I think that that's okay. So yeah, I don't know. I feel like I also graduate this year from, in April, from grad school. Which is crazy. So we're not going to talk about that. But in general, like, there's just so much up in the air right now. And I think that, I don't know. I think that it's kind of healthy, especially for folks like myself who are really type A and really planners and organized and whatever. Like you don't know what's happening. And that's okay. And nobody else knows what's happening, either. So I think that it's been sort of, like the patience that is needed to make bread. I think that the patience that's needed now, too, is something that maybe nobody asked for, but maybe some people needed. I don't know. Yeah, I struggle a lot too with wondering what to do after because I haven't not been in school since I was like a kid. So I don't know, that's a lot of pressure. But I think that what you guys have said about like, just planting seeds where you can and figuring out which ones are going to grow and blossom and which ones aren't, like that's all right. And I think that's just part of the experience. So yeah, I don't know, just everything that you guys said was really nice. And I think that it's true that everybody has been forced to slow down, which has been tough, but I don't know, maybe unnecessary toughness for a lot of us. So it's gonna be interesting to see what happens when our seeds start to grow wherever we've planted them.

Janine: And I don't know if you guys also feel this, but I have depended on other people's validation for a really long time with my work and what I want to do. And culturally, you just feel like, you know, it's a reflection of not just yourself, but your family, your parents. Like they've invested in you your whole life and stuff like that. So I I kind of had to let go of that pressure of I'm trying to impress other people, because I have to choose between, you know, being true to myself doing work I'm passionate about and being okay with uncertainty, and put other people's opinions of me aside and not give them the weight that they once had on the way I think of myself. And so, yeah, I just wanted to also add that.

Braeden: Yeah, I'll jump in as, as someone who's sort of like on the other side of, of having gone through school, and then, you know, it feels like a long time since I was in school. But yeah, Janine I think that was like the biggest transition of - I remember, my first actually, my first job after school was cooking, was as a cook in a kitchen. And it was like, I had to retrain my brain. I didn't realize how institutionalized my brain had become where I would like, you know, I would like make something or prep something and be like, okay, but like, what's my grade on this? Like, how did I perform? Like, what's the bell curve on this like creme brulee I made? Like I was so desperate for this like feedback or like, you know, or how I'm doing or - and it was like it was a real, it kind of felt like a brick wall of a reality check of like, Oh, I actually need to source this from myself. And I can't just like move through the world trying to like mine this like performance based review from people, because that's not real life. Like it was, it was a really trying experience. Like going, getting out into the working world and also just as like, yeah, listening to all of you talk about like, what's next - like, I mean, you're just gonna live lifetimes. Like with each year that passes you're going to work so many jobs. You're going to go so many places. You're going to meet so many people that like before you know it, when you look back at the past couple years - when I look back at the past 5 years, 10 years, since I've been out of school, like I can't even list the number of different jobs I've worked in. It's just all just sort of snowballed one, one from the other. So yeah, I'm really excited at like the blank canvas that sort of lays ahead for all of you. And, yeah, I'm excited to like, keep in touch, you know, throughout all of that, to see where all of you are, are traveling and doing and creating.

Rebekah: That's actually interesting, because it reminds me of an article that I read from the New Yorker yesterday. The article was about, like, if you could see other iterations of your life, like, depending on the choices and stuff that you made. And I love that concept. Like, I think that, you know, a bunch of sci fi movies kind of do that. But my favorite movie is called Mr. Nobody with Jared Leto, where he lives like three different lifetimes because he never makes a choice. And so at the end of his life, when someone's like interviewing him, like, Oh, so what was your life, like? He recounts, like, all of these different lifetimes that he lived because in his mind he never made a choice and actually lived all those different realities. It's a really trippy movie and I highly recommend if you get a chance to watch it. But the article was really fascinating, because, you know, this like concept of like, oh what would my life be if I made this choice? Or if I did this thing, if I did that thing? Like, for people who constantly live in that framework, you know, like, what if, what if? what if? what if? It can be like really overwhelming. Whereas like, some people kind of wrestle with that "what if" idea, and they're like, Okay, cool. That's a fun thought experiment. Now, let's get back to like, you know, regular life. I don't know. I don't know if anyone else like in this call does that but I also think about like the movie Meet the Robinsons, and how like, he built a time machine where he could have like seen what his life - like there's different alternate realities. I think alternate realities are really cool. But I sometimes wonder like what my life would have looked like if I had made different choices. But not trying to dwell on that. So I'll just toss it out there.

Sabrina: Yeah, my main like philosophical stream is ethics. Not that they stream you in philosophy in U of T. It's just what I enjoy. So that is the life that I live Rebekah. I wake up in the morning, and I'm like, what if I wear this blue shirt? Like, is it immoral to wear it? Like what? I like go to the grocery store and I'm like, Is it wrong that I'm buying this? Like what if I didn't - you know what I mean. But it's like all the way down to like a micro, like microcosmic decisions to be like how would my life be differently if I changed my life in this way? Always from like, a moral perspective. And I definitely think that, it's like, yeah. I feel like there's definitely those people there who like have that thought experiment and then they like move on with their lives. And I think that's also really important to be able to cast like that. But when you're like trapped in that cycle of like, but what if I do this, but what if I do that? What if whatever? It can become like really overwhelming, like you were saying. Because then you just don't want to make a decision. Because who knows what's gonna happen. And I think that's the - that's that thing, too - is like that need for control that we're talking about. And like, some semblance of like I know where I'm going. And I know what's about to happen and I know that I'm going to be safe, right. I think that's like, the big thing, too, is like people looking for safety in like a lot of the visions of the future that they see. And it's like an interesting balance to strike between like allowing yourself to consider all these possibilities, but then also acknowledging that you can't, like you were saying with a crystal ball, like you can't actually look into the future.

Janine: Yeah, that's such a cool article. I really want to read it Rebekah. I love Meet the Robinsons was one of my favorite when I was younger. And I think that if you pose the question, would I want to know what my life would look like a year, two years, three years from now, the answer for me is always No. I do not have that curiosity in me because I actively create my own future every day. And that sounds like - I've - this sounds kind of, I don't know, I watched an interview with Miley Cyrus last night talking about her album. And I really liked what she said. She goes, "every night, I kind of say goodbye to myself and I wake up a new person." And so that's where self forgiveness comes in is, you know, you can't say that, you know, next year I have to have this like checklist for my life. And for this year, and I have to do this, this and that. And I have this intricate plan. Because when you do that life kind of laughs at you and just says no. [laughs] Refuses everything that you know, you've pushed yourself to you know obsess over and stuff. So I think it's like maybe this balance that we need to strike between actively working for what we want in our lives. And, you know, working and manifesting that every day, but also letting go of that control and being like, I have this self forgiveness, self acceptance. Whatever comes will come, and I'm okay with it. And it's a very hard balance to strike.

Sabrina: I think too Braeden, going back to what you were saying about like that external validation is so real. And it's like one of the many, many, many, many, many reasons why I get very upset when professors like excuse their terrible policies being like, well, I'm just preparing you for the real world. Like, no. You're just preparing me to continue in academia. And that's a whole other kettle of fish. But like, the real world is not like this. I had to like work through this, like with my therapist. Because at my - this job is great, because it's all about creative expression. And there's like no punishment to that. But I feel like the world, "real world" is interesting. Because when you're like employed somewhere, like you can get fired. So there is that kind of form of performance review. But like, as long as you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, like no one's gonna check in at the end of your work every day and be like "Good job! B plus! Here's how you could have improved," you know what I mean? Like, maybe you should have used like, a blue paperclip and 12 point font instead of a red paperclip and 10 point. Like, they just want to know that you got the thing done. And I'm now in a position where I'm like working in a more of like a professional capacity where like, to me, it's like the concept of like being fired has like replaced the concept of like getting a C plus. And I'm like everything's terrible because then I'm just automatically gonna be fired. And I have to like, talking to my therapist about it, and I'm like, every decision I make, I'm like waiting for my supervisor to come back at me and be like here's where you could have improved. Here's where you did well and here's what you whatever. And it's like, she just wants me to get my work done. She does not care. You know what I mean? Like, she hired me because she thinks I'm competent. So she's like, there's ways that I'm being trained, but also ways where it's just like she's trusting me to do the thing. And it's more of like a completion mark, I suppose. If you want to keep up the school analogy. I think it's very interesting to be aware of those things, because I was not aware of it. And I also found myself too - and I think this is like another issue with like the post-secondary system - but like, a lot of the assignments that I do in class, I'm not necessarily doing what I want to do. I'm doing what I think my TA is going to mark well, right. And that's also another mentality that I needed to subvert when I entered like this sort of position where it's like, I need to stop creating things that I think my supervisor is going to like pat me on the back for solely because I want her to pat me on the back. Like I need to create good work that I'm proud of that I know she will be happy with. Because she hired me to do the work that I know that I can do you know what I mean? And I feel like these are like really important things to acknowledge that people might not even realize, because then you enter like these workspaces and you have this feeling of like, why does everything feel so out of place? Like, what am I seeking? Like, why does this feel so weird? And it's just like, because everything that you've been like taught to do and the way that you've been trained to like interact with the work that you're doing is not actually appropriate for this space. And like you're not the problem. It's just like your conditioning and the way that you've been working for the past couple of years. And, yeah.

Melissa: I actually, Sabrina, something that you said made me think, actually kind of have a realization. I have an interview this week for a big person job, which is very exciting. But speaking of, you know, having that academic like evaluation sense instilled into you, I didn't even realize that I did this. But I reached out to somebody who like already works for the organization to try to get some insight into the interview process. And now that you said that, Sabrina, the only two questions that I asked her were about how I was going to be evaluated. So I asked her a question, how much do I need to know about x topic? Or like, Am I - I basically asked her if I was going to be quizzed. And then the second question that I asked is, does she want like, the interviewer, in your experience, does she want me to hand her a portfolio. And she basically responded and was like none of that is necessary. They're basically just - I hate, like, I don't want to say vibe checking, but basically they're just making sure that you're a good fit. And like, they made me do a personality assessment. So I'm pretty sure they're just making sure I'm not lying. But like, the first thing that I wanted to know is like, Am I being tested on my knowledge? And if so, how am I being tested? And if, like what is the test look like? And I didn't even realize that that was an academic thing until this conversation right now. And it's funny, because when I realized that it wasn't going to be that, I felt relieved. So I feel like, I wondered what that kind of says about those values that have been instilled in us from being in academia for so long. The fact that I feel so relieved that she's just going to ask me about who I am as a human being and not judge me based on if I get a pretend test, right. Like, I don't know. I just, I didn't realize but that's kind of just a personal anecdote about how that - I feel like that idea kind of creeps into your life in ways that you don't realize all the time, which is very harmful in my opinion. But yeah, that definitely is going to take some unlearning. So if anybody has any tips on how to unlearn years of academic pressure, let me know. [laughter]

Rebekah:�� We're all like shaking our heads.

Sabrina: I did want to say, like, the biggest like - this isn't necessarily like a learning process. It was just one situation, but that kind of like helped me put things in certain perspective. It's like - my, one of my siblings is like over, a decade older than me. So I was like, back in like, [Rebekah gestures "me too"] (whoo, yeah! Rebekah! Twinsies). So like, it was like, I was back in early highschool, early highschool. And he was at my house, and he was doing like an interview, like Skype interview or whatever. And I was just in the living room, but I was like, over listening, because he was just talking, it was like everyone's business in the common space. And, you know, he's talking about his resume. And he's talking about his qualifications. And he was just like, yeah, I speak French, like English is my native language, but I also speak French. And I was waiting for them to be like, okay, conjugate like passe compose. Like, he was like, whatever. And like, the interviewer, I believe, also spoke French, and then just started speaking French to him. And then they spoke French for like, five minutes. And then they moved on. And I was like, they didn't test him. Like, they didn't test them. Like, they just spoke French. And then they moved on. And then I - this is like years later, right - like, a couple months ago, I was in the interview for the job that I'm in now that I'm trying to unlearn these like academic things. And, you know, she was just kind of like "So I see you speak French on your resume." And I was like, yeah, and she's like, cool. Like, someone that we're working with also speaks French, so you can connect on that. And then we just moved on. And I was like, Wow, I didn't need to do a dicte. I thought I would going to like interviews and they'd be like, so here are your conjugation sheets, you have 20 minutes, hand them back and then we'll evaluate your proficiency. And I think it's really interesting because like, even like my partner, he's going into a different sector. And he actually gets quizzed in the sector that he's in. It's actually common to be quizzed and have take home assignments. And they'll send them to you and then see how you go through those assignments like to be hired, like, Oh my god, that sounds terrible. I'm looking at him right now telling him that like, that sounds terrible. So it's definitely not like all the case, I'm sure in certain respects like that academic training is helpful in certain sectors. And this is more of like a STEMy kind of sector for him. So that I think makes a lot more sense. Because it's more quantitative than qualitative. But yeah, I think what was very helpful for me was that seeing possibly the way that my life could turn out, even in early high school by like watching my brother's interview, even years, or listening to my brother's interview like even years, years, years ago, and then experiencing that kind of situation myself, is just understanding kind of like, even what Melissa was saying. Like understanding the circumstances where like, you aren't necessarily going to be quizzed. And like, that's okay. And just know that like, not everything in life is going to be like some pop quiz trying to trick you into like, creating a metric for your performance or something. Some people will just like believe you. Which I think is also something like it's like, phased out of people as they move through like institutions and structured institutions. Like people don't believe people for things. Like you need a whole note that you have to pay for just to tell someone that you were sick. And like, can I get like a rewrite for this thing? Like yeah, it's just interesting that in the "real world" there's more space for trust and just kind of like taking people for their word.

Braeden: Yeah, um, maybe to round out the end of our hour together I would love it if we could go around, and if everyone, if you're comfortable, if you could share maybe some work or an aspect of your work, or the way that your work that you work that you're proud of. And then maybe, do you have like an intention or a well wish to cast towards yourself over this break for your rest and restoration? Like, as we round out our last conversation into the year like what's like a good intention that you want to cast towards yourself to invest in yourself over the break?

Rebekah: Oh, tough question. I don't know, for me, I'm working on a couple of different projects right now. And I guess I'm just really proud of the way that like, I've not only like sought out like these different projects that feel very different from what I usually do in my academics as a way to like challenge me. Like I'm working this writing project right now, and I write a lot for myself, but I don't really write for other people very often. And so this is a, like a challenge and a test, but I get to interview some people who I'm really excited to interview and like, you know, tell the story that I don't think that is like currently being told. But my well wish for myself for over the break is to reconnect with my grandparents. I know, that's completely unrelated to what I just said. But, um, I've been like, meaning to like, reconnect with them for a while. And it gets like really hard to do that like during the thick of the school year. And so I floated the idea to my grandparents a couple of weeks ago that I want to do like an interview style thing with them like I did when I was in high school as an updated version four years later. Because I think that there's like more questions that I want to ask them. And while I still have them here to ask those questions, I want to like make sure I can document that and like have that as a family historian type of thing. So, um yeah, that's my wish for myself is to like actually make that happen. And so I'm saying this now, because I'm gonna listen to this later. And it's going to remind myself, Hey, did you do that thing that you said you're going to do? And hopefully the answer will be yes. There we go.

Janine: I love that idea. I think that just inspired me to do the same with my grandmas. To call them and ask them these questions. I think for me in the break, I want to just personally clear my head a bit. And like I said before, kind of find my voice again and find my passion again. Because I think I've lost it for a bit. Like not lost it, but it's definitely dim because of like, a lot of anxiety and stress and stuff lately. And I think that I want to meditate. That's one way that I want to take care of myself and whatever will come creatively will come. Whether it's writing or audio or visuals, I'm just giving myself that space to breathe. Like, it sounds like a simple thing. But it's, it's harder than it seems to just breathe and meditate and take care of myself in that sense.

Sabrina: For me, something that I'm proud of, in my workflow - I think I've been moving into a space of establishing good boundaries across everything that I'm committed to in a way that honors how I've committed to those things. And doesn't like, have me like under delivering. But then also in a way where I can like juggle everything. And I think my like wish for myself for this, this kind of break period is honestly just to rest. And to like, just take some time to do nothing or like do things that I enjoy. Like for myself. I don't even know, I don't even know what rest means. Because I also have like a bunch of ideas. So it's like, people are like well you need to rest and it's like but I also want to do 1000 things. So like, I don't. I don't know how you marry those two things. But I will - I don't know, hit me up in three weeks, and we'll see if I figured it out.

Melissa: Those are all really great well wishes to yourself. I think that it's really important to cut yourself some slack when you can. And on that note, I guess something that I am proud of is I was talking to folks about my education plan earlier. So it's basically just an academic assignment that I'm working on. And I'm really proud of it. Because I think that I surprised myself with how like legitimate it feels. Like I feel like looking at it makes me feel like maybe I am actually a museum professional. And I don't know, I feel like it kind of helps mitigate some of that imposter syndrome. So it's always nice when you produce something that you feel like, Hey, I could maybe actually show this to an institution. So that's been pretty cool. And it's also been fun to work on. And then my wish for myself I think is just to be nice to myself over the break. So if I need a day off to not do anything like that's okay. Whatever the outcome of this interview is, I think just being nice to myself about that. In echoing what Janine said, like, I'd also like to be creative over the break. I have a knitting project that I'm working on, but like if I don't finish it that's okay. So yeah, I think just giving myself space to be productive or to not be productive and trying not to put too much pressure on myself, which I'm pretty good at putting pressure on myself. That is I'm not as good at taking pressure off. So we'll work on that this week. And what about you Braden?

Braeden: Um yeah, I think something, I think something that I'm, I'm proud of around work is that I'm realizing, I feel like for the first time, sort of my work is like integrating itself with me as a person and like who I am and how I move through the world. And like - and I feel like the actual bedrock of my work is in building relationships. And I feel like that's kind of who I am as a person. Like, I feel like I'm returning to who I've always been. And that's also just like integrating its way into work where it's just like the foundation of all of this, is in building relationships, building trusting meaningful relationships. But also, yeah, creating pathways for creative expression for myself and for the people around me. And so yeah, that just feels, it feels really nice to come into alignment with that after sort of years of like, a very like turbulent working life. And then something I guess, like some well wishes, I think I just want to read. Like, I just want to, I just want to sit on the couch and like read a book for three hours. And if I like fall asleep after 15 minutes with like, with napping with like the book on my face, like, that's cool. That sounds like bliss. So yeah, thank you. Thank you all for for sharing. And for joining me in this convo. This is, this was really lovely. And I'm wishing all of you a wonderful restorative break and look forward to connecting in the new year and in hearing about all the nice things you all did for yourselves. Thank you so much to Sabrina, Rebekah, Janine, and Melissa for joining me in the West, Meeting Room for our last conversation of 2020. And a big thank you to all of our extended Hart House podcasting family who have all taught me so much about how to hold space for meaningful conversations. I hope this finds you heading into 2021 with a bit of a lighter load. And if things are feeling heavy right now, I would encourage you to call up someone who's helped you, someone who can bring you comfort, or someone who can make you laugh. Take care of each other in the meantime, and we'll be with you next week.

#time #rest #analog #breadmaking #creative #wellwishes #pandemic #thinking #unlearning #space #writing #conversation

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kristallioness · 5 years ago

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2016 | 2017 | 2018

*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*

Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).

But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.

My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?

If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.

*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*

Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!

Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!

However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*

But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.

Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.

I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.

Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).

Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.

I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!

Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).

What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).

To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.

There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.

But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.

Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.

The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.

The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.

*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.

When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.

No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.

I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).

*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).

2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*

#personal #shards of Kristal

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something-tofightfor · 5 years ago

Text

Christmas in Wyoming - Two

Pairing: Logan Delos x Emma .... Logan Delos x Reader

Word count: 5330

Rating: M (language)

Author’s Note: Here we gooooooo

Taglist: feel free to ask me to remove you… or to add you!

@banditthewriter @breanime @obscurilicious @madamrogers @suchatinyinfinity @chibiyanai @songtoyou @ethereal-heavcns @editboutique @marauderskeeper @drinix @ilkaeliseb @delicatelilyflower @king4thesirens @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @ymariejp @mr-robot-x @rageshots @shinebrightlikeafanbase @littlemermaidprobz @introvertedlibrary @writing-for-a-chance @yesixoxo @ilikebeachessushiandsmallanimals @likeorions @swiftyhowlz @dylanobrusso @benbarnestongue @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @the-blind-assassin-12 @dreamwritesimagines @waytoobsessedwithmyfandoms @lexxierave @ms-delos @elanor-of-imladris @lynne1993 @dreams-with-thoughts @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mfackenthal @traeumerinwitzhelden @bucky-is-my-precious @weallhaveadestiny @ladyblablabla @sweetybuzz25 @luminex3 @christinawxxx @thesumofmychoices @audreychaz @tc-elliot @kind-wolf @gollyderek @honeyydippaa @thesandbeneathmytoes @malik-payne @geeksareunique @bellastellaluna @agentlingerie @elioelioeli0 @wangmangagavroche

“So you’ve lived here with your aunt and uncle for most of your life?” Logan brought the coffee mug to his lips, sipping it. “Your uncle wouldn’t stop talking about you.” Really? He laughed before he continued, Logan’s eyes flicking around the semi-crowded room. “Says you’re a huge help to them, that you’re going to run the place when they retire.”

“He talks a lot, Logan.” You picked off a piece of the lemon muffin that you’d ordered with your coffee, popping it into your mouth. “But yeah, I came out here with them after I lost my parents, and when I turned fourteen or fifteen, they started having me do work around the place - cleaning up the campground and cabins, checking guests in and out, doing the shopping for the resort…” You shrugged. “Made choosing where I went to college and what I went for much simpler.” He quirked a brow at you and you continued. “Two degrees; one in business, one in hospitality.”

“Damn.” He said the single word softly, shaking his head. “There good schools around here, or…”

“No, I went to State in Pennsylvania and Notre Dame, so I had to leave here for a while, but I came back during the summers… we’re really busy then, and Brandon and Elle needed the help.” The story was one you told often, both to guests that you befriended and the friends you had. “It makes sense for me to take over for them, they’ve owned it for decades, and want to keep it in the family. I’m the logical… well, the only choice.” Logan smiled at you, and while you both ate and drank, you took the opportunity to look him over more closely than you had before.

He’d shrugged out of his coat as soon as he set his tray down, pulling the hat from his head and stuffing it into the front pocket before sitting, his posture on the chair casual. Though his cheeks had been reddened from the cold while you waited in line, they weren’t anymore, his skin pale and smooth above his beard - which he’d trimmed to a much shorter style than it had been previously. It looks better this way. In the light of the bakery, Logan’s eyes were still dark, but you saw that they were more brown than black, softened slightly as they fell on your face. How am I here with him now? “What?” The smile had turned back into a smirk, and you shook your head, bringing yourself out of your thoughts. “You can take your coat off, you know. Stay a while.” He glanced down into his mug. “I might even get another cup. You want one?”

“I… sure.” You nodded. “C-”

“Cold brew with cream and salted caramel, right?” Blinking quickly, you nodded at him as he stood, heading back to the counter with your empty cups in hand. I didn’t realize he listened to what I ordered. Huh. The line was shorter than it had been, but you knew it would still take Logan a few minutes to get the drinks, and you drummed your fingers on the table as you waited, chin in the other hand. The conversation you’d had with Logan - him asking you questions and listening intently had been nothing like you expected - and nothing like what the tabloids and Internet made him out to be. There hadn’t been a good moment for you to bring up the fact that you knew who he was, but you knew that before you separated, you had to. Be honest about it. I’m sure he already thinks you know. Taking a deep breath, you stood, unzipping your coat and sliding your arms out of it, draping it over the back of your chair - much like he’d done. “You really do dress for the weather out here, don’t you.”

You froze, turning back toward Logan, who was standing on the opposite side of the table, holding both of your coffees. Shit. “Yeah, Logan.” You collected yourself quickly, reaching out to take your drink from him before you sat, careful not to touch his hand. “Some of us prepare accordingly when it’s supposed to be below freezing.” You’d thrown on an oversized sweater and a pair of insulated leggings with your boots that morning - an outfit that you figured none of the women Logan associated with would be caught dead in, but still, he eyed you with a little appreciation, eyes moving downward from your face and then back up.

“This place isn’t what I expected.” Logan took another drink of his coffee, shaking his head before he ran a hand through his hair, pale fingers visible through the long, dark strands. “People are friendly, the scenery is beautiful, the food’s been good so far…” Logan shook his head. “There are worse places to spend the holidays, I guess.” Is that a compliment? I can’t tell. “Nothing against you or Fireside or … but like I said, I’m used to warmth and… God, the last time I saw snow had to be years ago.” Logan fell silent, staring down at his mug, and you noticed that his fingers were tightly wrapped around the container, brow furrowed.

“Where do you usually spend Christmas, Logan?” You were genuinely curious, though you didn’t really expect him to answer. “You said you’re used to sun and sand and warmth, so -”

“Wherever my family isn’t.” He offered you a tight lipped smile, shaking his head. “We’re not that close, especially since my sister got married to... “ He stopped, taking a deep breath. “I… it doesn’t matter. But this… I needed to get away, and I figured that putting myself in the middle of nowhere would be a good break.” Oh, Logan. You thought back to the stories that you’d read, the things people said about Logan and his father and his brother in law. It’s serious. “You don’t want to hear about that, though, I’m sorry.” It’s time to tell him. You closed your eyes, squaring your shoulders and then took a long drink from your straw.

“Logan, I need to be honest with you.” He looked confused for a second, but you continued. “I… know who you are.” You watched as he stiffened briefly, waiting, the look on his face changing. “I didn’t at first, when I came to get you? But after I went home last night, a friend of mine called, freaking out because you were at Snow King yesterday.” You leaned back, but Logan stayed silent, watching you. “When she mentioned Westworld, it kind of clicked, because I’ve heard of the park before, but…” You shook your head, looking down. “I looked you up online, because I couldn’t believe it - why would someone like you stay at a place like Fireside? All of the resorts are so much more … fitting, I guess? We’re nothing compared to them, and you’re one of the wealthiest men in the world, so why would you pick a place like ours?”

“That’s what you’re worried about?” His voice was low, and Logan leaned in over the table, closer to you. “You looked me up online and saw… whatever it is that you saw and you’re worried about why I picked your place over one of the others?” He laughed, and you took a breath, surprised at the sound. “That’s the question you ask me?”

“Well, yeah.” You frowned at him, meeting his eyes again and not looking away like you’d done before. “What else would I worry about? Your personal life? Your … extracurricular activities? That’s none of my business, Logan.” He looked surprised, but you continued. “All I need to worry about is whether or not we’re doing what we need to do to make the time you spend with us what you hope it will be, nothing more.” He was silent for a while, watching you, his face giving nothing away.

“So you’re friends with Emma?” He asked the question casually, and though you hadn’t expected it, you were able to keep the flinch contained - barely.

“We were friends once, yes.” Biting down on your lower lip, you thought before continuing. “It’s hard to be friends with someone when they’re constantly trying to one up you and your business. And it’s fine, she’s focused on Snow King and her family, and she should be, but we’re… so different, that it shouldn’t matter.” Logan had leaned in again, watching you as you spoke. “It wasn’t her that called, Logan, it was a mutual friend.” He nodded. “You being here in Jackson Hole is a big deal, apparently. Everyone’s curious. We don’t get as many celebrities as Aspen or Vale or -”

“Celebrities?” He laughed again, tossing his head back. “I’m not a celebrity, I’m just a rich prick with too much money and not enough good sense to spend it well.” Logan grinned. “Did you tell your friend I’m staying in one of your cabins?”

“Of course not, that’s not… I wouldn’t ever. I don’t care who you are, you’re a guest, and you’re entitled to your privacy while you’re here. All of our employees know to keep quiet about it, too.” He considered your words carefully, wetting his lips with a few quick swipes of his tongue.

“I’d like to keep it that way, if possible.” That’s what I just said, Logan, I won’t say a word. “I’m… meeting your… meeting Emma for dinner tonight.” Logan’s fingers played with the napkin on the table, eyebrows knit together. “She asked and I didn’t say no, but… I’m assuming it wouldn’t go over well if she knew where I was staying, would it?” You shook your head, deciding not to try to hide things from him.

“It won’t, she’d try to convince you to stay there the rest of the time if she knew.” And we need the money. “She’ll show you a good time, Logan.” The words came out before you could stop them, and you widened your eyes, hand going to your mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that.” He laughed again, leaning back in. “She’s not a bad person, Logan, she just…” You’re an idiot. You basically just told him he was going to get laid if he wanted to.

“No, stop.” He winked at you, and you felt your breath catch. “I know what you’re saying, and I got the same vibe.”

“That why you agreed to go out with her?” You spoke again without thinking, and even as Logan laughed, you put your face into both hands, groaning. You’re so goddamn dumb. “That’s none of my business, I’m sorry.” You peeked up at him, finding that he was watching you closely, one thumb pressed against his lips, teeth just visible as he chewed on the nail. Glancing behind him, you were surprised to see that it was almost 2:30, and that just under two hours had passed with him. “It’s late, I think I should get going.” He frowned. “They close at three, Logan, I don’t want to be those people.”

After putting your coats back on, you collected your trash and empty plates and made your way toward the front of the bakery, Logan nodding to the young woman and man behind the counter. When you stepped outside, you watched as he pulled his hat on, covering his ears. “Thanks for this.” He shook his head, stepping closer to you as a gust of wind made you shiver. “Halfway figured you’d say no… I’m surprised you didn’t, knowin’ what you do about me.” No way.

“Of course, Logan, maybe you’ll let me repay the favor before you leave Wyoming.” He raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the highway and then back at you, eyes moving over your face. “There’s a restaurant I think you’d like, but it’s a little bit of a drive.” He nodded twice, opening his mouth to speak. “Hey.” You closed your eyes. “I hope you have fun with Emma tonight.” He looked shocked as you continued, his mouth closing. “I’m not surprised that she asked you out.”

“Why’s that?” I’m not going to give you the satisfaction. He waited, biting the inside of his cheek as he watched you.

“Despite what the tabloids might say about you - and what you say about yourself, Logan Delos, I think you’re actually less of an asshole than you pretend to be.” He laughed again, shaking his head and muttering the word ‘wow’ under his breath. “But I still have some work to do this afternoon, and you have a date to get ready for.” He rolled his eyes.

“It’s just dinner.” And some drinks, I’m sure. And shameless flirting on both ends.

“Where are you taking her?” You held up a finger. “Wait, let me guess. She picked the place… and it’s…” You thought, closing your eyes for a second. “Hayden’s, right?” He nodded slowly. “Figured. She’d want to be seen with you in her own resort’s restaurant.” Logan didn’t say anything and so you continued. “It’s a shame, really. The food’s alright, but there are plenty of other places to go that are just as good.” Before you could stop yourself, you reached out, squeezing Logan’s arm through his sleeve, surprised to find it much smaller than you’d imagined. He’s thin. “Thanks for this afternoon, Logan. See you around.”

“Yeah. Hey,” he called after you, following you down the steps. “Really, it’s just dinner. I just figured -”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Logan. You’re an adult.” You paused, a hand on your door handle. “Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?” He gave you a tight nod and you turned away from him, opening your door and climbing inside. You warned him without warning him. Whatever happens, happens. By the time you’d pulled out of your spot and were preparing to turn left onto 390, Logan had pulled behind you, blinker on to turn right. Raising a hand to him in the rearview mirror, you watched as he did the same, a small wave visible before you edged forward and out of the parking lot.

---

But you didn’t see Logan the following day, though you noticed that his lights were on in the cabin when you showed up for work just before 7. Jeep’s windows are frosted over… means he’s been back for a while. There were no extra tire tracks in the fresh snow behind his car either, and though you didn’t know why, it filled you with relief. Brandon kept you busy, sending you out in a different Jeep for extra supplies for the cabins that would be filled the following week, and when you got back a little after five, Logan’s car was still parked - still frosted over. Lazy day for him, I guess.

You helped your aunt and uncle unpack, promising that you’d be back early the next morning to sort through the items that you’d purchased and get them to where they needed to be, and even though Elle told you that someone else was capable, you waved her off, Logan’s face in the back of your mind. After stopping home to change, you got back in the car, driving to meet Gina and Ana at Snake River Brewing, where an order of nachos and a beer were already waiting for you as you slid into your seat. I needed this.

The three of you talked for a while, ordering entrees and a second round of drinks, and you forgot all about Logan, about the issues at the resort, about the unease you’d been feeling for the previous few months. I needed this. By the time your food came, you were relaxed, listening to Ana talk about something that her husband had done the day before - until a voice cut in from behind you. “I didn’t get an invite?” Shit. You closed your eyes, beer glass frozen halfway between the table and your lips. “Can I sit?” Ana’s eyes flicked to you and you nodded minutely, gesturing to the empty seat across the table from you. “Thanks!”

Emma dropped gracefully into the chair, looking over her shoulder as the waitress came back to the table, taking her drink order. Though you stayed quiet for the first few minutes, only offering a response when it was required, you studied your former friend. Her long, dark hair was down around her shoulders, the sweater she was wearing expensive and perfectly suited for her body. Wonder what she wore last night. “How’d your date go?” Gina finally asked the question that Emma had been waiting for, and the brunette leaned in, one hand wrapped around her beer glass, perfect manicure on display. Here we go. Though you hadn’t wanted to admit it, you were curious to know, too. Did you impress him? Did he impress you?

“Well.” She grinned, biting her lip and looking around, eyes falling on each of you in turn. “I don’t know if Gina told … everyone, but I went out with Logan Delos last night.” She paused, taking a long drink. “He showed up in the ski shop the other day, and I couldn’t not ask him out, right? He was even better looking in person than in pictures, and, I just…” She sighed, shaking her head. “He’s not staying at Snow King, but I’m sure he’s somewhere in town - he wouldn’t tell me where, though, and I tried everything to get it out of him.” She frowned, twisting the ends of her hair around her fingers. “We went to dinner at Hayden’s, had some drinks, and… he’s incredible.” She leaned in, a knowing smile on her face. “If he’s here alone, and I definitely think he is, he’s gotta be interested in investing somewhere, and my parents would kill me if I didn’t make him see how great our place is.” Sure. Like you need more investors.

“Isn’t Delos mostly tech-oriented, though?” You finally spoke, head tilted to the side. “What kind of technology could a ski resort use that it doesn’t already have?” Emma rolled her eyes, but you continued. “Maybe he’s just here to get away for the holidays.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Emma shrugged, one finger moving up to her lips as she wiped away a few wayward drops of beer. “I don’t care why he’s here, I’m just glad he is.” Gina leaned in, asking a few more questions, and you caught Ana’s eye, shooting her a deadpan look. “He kissed me goodnight.” A few minutes later, your attention went fully back to Emma and you felt your stomach drop. He did? “Well, he kissed me back, I guess. When I kissed him.” She giggled. “I invited him back to my place but he said no, said that he didn’t want to give me the wrong impression.” She grinned, eyes falling on you. “He’s not usually like that, he must actually like me, playing hard to get.” Or maybe he wasn’t interested. “Anyway, one of the resort photographers got a few pictures of us eating, and those are going to go up on the Instagram page in a few days. What great publicity it’ll be for us - Logan Delos of Delos Inc, on a date with me? We’ll book the final few rooms for the holidays no problem.” Oh, how dare you.

After that, you tuned out completely, only hearing a few of the words that Emma, Ana and Gina said, asking for the check the next time the waitress came to the table. “You seeing him again, Emma?” You finally spoke again as you stood, pulling your coat on, fingers going through your hair as you pulled it from beneath your collar. “Seems like you had a good time.” She laughed, pressing her plump lips together and looked up at you.

“We are. He said he’d call, but when he does, I’m going to make sure to show him a real good time while he’s here, show him what I can offer him.” She raised an eyebrow. “You know what I mean?” Oh, I do. “I’d suggest that we all meet up together, give him a taste of Jackson Hole, but...wouldn’t it be awkward for you?” Gina hissed Emma’s name, reaching for the girl’s arm, but Emma waved her off. “I mean, since you and Colin broke up, it’s not like we could go on a group date or anything.” Rather than respond in the way you would have liked to - picking up her drink and throwing it into her face or punching her - you just shrugged, pulling your keys from your pocket and taking a deep breath through your nose.

“We broke up over a year ago, Emma. It’s not a big deal. And I very highly doubt that Logan would want to meet a bunch of your friends on a second date, anyway. He doesn’t seem like the type to get attached.” She recoiled, and you looked away from her, saying goodbye to the other two before you turned and headed out to your car. So he kissed her, and they’re planning on going out again. Without waiting for the car to warm up, you put it in reverse and pulled out of the parking space, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. Good for him.

---

The following morning, you woke up determined to get everything done for the coming guests before heading home for the weekend, since you’d be handling more than a few new guests the following week. You were looking forward to the time off, thinking that you’d get more done around the house as well as finish up your Christmas shopping, but mainly, you were excited to be away from Logan, especially knowing that he’d apparently hit it off with Emma. It doesn’t matter. I just don’t want to hear about it.

Pulling down the drive toward the lodge, you glanced over, seeing Logan’s jeep missing from it’s spot, even though it was early. Oh. Parking and letting yourself into the lodge, you busied yourself with making lists of the individual cabin needs, separating out the items that had been specially requested and designated for delivery. Emma and Brandon were gone for the day, and the rest of the staff knew what they were supposed to be doing, so you worked in the comfort of the main room, phone playing music as the boxes of items were packed. “Good morning.”

“Shit!” His voice startled you and you looked up from your place on the floor, eyes wide. “What are you doing here?” Logan was standing in the doorway, a small smile on his face as he held two cups in his hands. Where’s his coat?

“Brought you coffee.” He licked his lips, stepping into the room. “Your aunt and uncle told me they had the day off today, and I figured that meant you’d be here.” What? “Ordered you the same thing you got the other day, I thought…” He trailed off, eyes on you. “What’s wrong?” Logan pulled a seat over from the lone table, settling down and holding the plastic cup out to you.

“Nothing, Logan.” You accepted the coffee from him, feeling his chilled fingers brush yours for a moment. It doesn’t matter. “Thank you. You didn’t have to…” He shook his head, looking around the room. “I figured you went out last night and hadn’t made it back yet.”

“That why you’re so annoyed with me?” Logan shook his head back and forth slowly. “You think I’m stayin’ out all night with someone after only a few days here? That what you think of me?” He paused, shaking his head. “Actually, don’t answer that. I’m sure that’s exactly what the tabloids would have you believe.” Logan sighed. “No. I woke up early and went for a drive to look around, and then stopped at that bakery, because it was good.”

“Logan,” you said, uncrossing your legs and drawing your knees up. “I’m sorry, I don’t know you, I shouldn’t have…” He waved you off with one hand, eyes moving around the room again.

“What do you guys use this room for?” He sipped his coffee, gesturing with a long finger that he uncurled from around the cup. “I see the tree an’ the lights and decorations, but…” He sucked his lower lip into his mouth. “This would be a good place for groups to gather, like... “ Logan trailed off. “For events and shit?”

“That’s exactly what we do, Logan. When we’re booked, we usually have tables and stuff set up in here, and Elle does meals, or we have movie nights, or crafts for the kids.” You took a drink of your coffee, shaking your head. “It’s busier in the summer, like I said, and... “ Your eyes moved around, looking at the boxes of items for the cabins, remembering the previous summer months. “We do a Christmas brunch, so if you want, you’ll see it full then.” As you looked back at Logan, you saw that he was still looking around the room, eyes lingering on the corners, the windows that overlooked the trees and the empty RV lot behind the building.

“What are you doing today?” He spoke suddenly, snapping your attention back to him. “I mean, after you’re done here? With this?” You looked around the room. Though there were only ten cabins to prep, you figured you’d be busy until at least noon, especially since you had to lug the boxes into the different units. Wait, why is he asking? He’s …. Emma.

“Logan.” You looked directly into his eyes, shaking your head. “There’s no reason to…” You stopped, rubbing your hands over your face. “I went out with my friends last night, and Emma was… there.” He stiffened. “She told us all about your date, about how you’re going to see her again, about how you… about your kiss.” You almost couldn’t get the words out, but you forced them. “She seemed very sure of -”

“Of what?” He stood, glaring down at you. “Of the fact that she kissed me? That she propositioned me in the restaurant?” He shook his head, pushing his sleeves up to just below his elbows as he spoke. “I donno what you read about me, but there’s more to me than booze and sex and…” He shook his head, hair falling over his eyes. “I have no intention of seeing Emma again, but since you’ve already made up your mind, I guess that’s all I need to know.” He shook his head and you felt your heart hammering in your chest. Stand up. Stop him. “Enjoy your coffee.” Logan turned and began walking out of the room, but you were on your feet before he’d taken more than a few steps, following him.

“Logan, wait. Stop.” You reached out again, gripping his arm just above the elbow. “Please.” He did, turning to face you with disappointment etched across his features. “What you do is your business, but I know Emma, and…” You shook your head, trying to reconcile that he was only inches from you, that he smelled incredible, that you could see the freckles on his skin clearly - one beneath his right eye, another high on his left cheekbone - that he hadn’t pulled his arm away from your grasp. “I like you, Logan, and she’s… she might seem…” You shook your head without breaking eye contact. “It’s not real, Logan. Everything she does is…”

“Fake?” He licked his lips, taking a fraction of a step closer, his body shifting. “She practically screamed at me when I suggested we go somewhere else for dinner to keep it low profile.” Logan shook his head, glancing down for a split second. “You were right that she… she wanted to be seen with me.” I knew it. “And you warned me.” He laughed, and your eyes were drawn to the corners of his eyes, skin wrinkled, the same true of the bridge of his nose. He’s… I can’t, I need to step back. But you didn’t, waiting for him to speak instead. “I thought it was just you bein’... a typical woman, right? Jealous or whatever, since you two don’t get along.” Seriously? You opened your mouth to speak but he stopped you with a raised finger. “I did say I’m an asshole.” You chuckled, surprised that you were responding coherently with him so close. “But when she wouldn’t go somewhere else, and hinted before we even got our food that she was willing to show me her place, I realized you were right.”

“Logan, you don’t have to…” He licked his lips again, shaking his head as his raised finger turned into two, and they moved closer to your face, stopping just before they touched you.

“I do, though.” He took in a breath and slowly let it out, eyes never leaving yours. “I don’t want to be that guy anymore.” Oh, shit. “None of these people know what I want, an’ they just assume.” You felt him touch you, fingertips against your hair, his face impossibly close. “She kissed me, and it surprised me, and I kissed her back.” Of course you did. But the moment wasn’t broken and Logan continued, the arm that you were still holding rising, hand settling at your waist, his fingers gently curling into the material of your hoodie. “But it won’t happen again,” he said softly, leaning in, lips pressing against your cheek once before he moved them to your ear. “Because I’ve got enough people usin’ me at home, and I don’t need that here, too.”

All you needed to do was turn your head slightly and your mouth would meet his - and in that moment, you realized how much you wanted it, how attracted to him you were. I shouldn’t, I can’t. Frozen in place, you felt Logan’s palm on the side of your head, his hand tugging you closer at the waist, breath warm on your skin. “Logan.” Your voice was thick and you swallowed, using your free hand to push against his chest - gently but firmly. “I don’t… we don’t know each other.” His hands didn’t move but he allowed you to move his body backwards. He’s surprised.

“Can we change that?” He cleared his throat, finally dropping his hands from you and Logan looked down, staring at his feet for long seconds. “You know what the Internet says, and a lot of that shit is true, but…” He stopped, eyes back on your face. “There are things to…that you should hear from me, not from a newspaper or a gossip column. And if I tell you, and you don’t… you still want to know me, at least it’s ...” You wanted to say yes, wanted to agree to get to know the real Logan Delos, but you couldn’t form the words. He’ll be gone in a few weeks, and it’ll be like … he’ll go back to his mansion, back to his life, back to… “Hey, everything alright?” He was still standing there, still waiting for you to respond - and after another few seconds of staring into his eyes, you made a decision.

“Yes.” With a nod of your head, you continued. “I’d like that, Logan.” He again seemed surprised but the smile that he gave you in return was dazzling. Eye crinkles and all. “What does ‘getting to know Logan Delos’ entail out here in the middle of nowhere?” He laughed, stepping back and running his hand through his hair.

“Well, in Los Angeles, I’d take you out somewhere obnoxiously expensive, show you that I don’t care what I spend on a date, that we can go anywhere, even without a reservation, because I’m Logan Delos.” Bigshot. “But… A, I don’t think that would impress you, and B, I don’t think that there’s anywhere here like that… so…” He sighed, reaching down to run his knuckles over the back of your hand before he closed his fingers around yours, squeezing. “You mentioned that there was somewhere you thought I’d like?”

---

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vanessa--latu-blog · 5 years ago

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THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD – 1ST AND 2ND NOMINATION

I am so delighted to have been nominated for ‘The Versatile Blogger Award’—about 3 months after starting my blog. I was amazed! Words can’t even describe how much I appreciate the nominations. I was nominated by Mommy’s Business 101 and Out of Office Blonde.

Mommy’s Business101 is one of my favourite bloggers as she has given me something to look forward to — a busy working mum who does it all. She posts motivational quotes on to her Instagram and always has a smile on her face. Have a look for yourself.

Out of Office Blonde is another one of my favourites as her blog is full of life; she pours her heart into it. Her photography has inspired me to ‘up my game’, literally. She takes stylish and fashionable photos of herself on holiday – if only I was this brave to post mine. Check her out!

Thank you for the nomination, guys!

What is The Versatile Blogger?

The Versatile Blogger Award was created to celebrate blogs who have unique content, strong writing, and beautiful photographs.

Rules

Thank the person who gave you the award.

Include a link to their blog.

Select 7 bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly.

Nominate those bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.

Finally, tell the readers 7 things about yourself.

7 facts about myself

1. Spirituality

I am a spiritual person cares about people, animals and the planet; I strive to be a kind-hearted person. I know my purpose in life and I am doing my best to stay on the right path; also, I try to be as peaceful as possible as having a clear and free mind is priceless.

I have several spiritual practices that I follow:

I pray

meditate

give back

live healthy

focus on myself

2. Highly organised

This is going to sound strange, but I have a problem… When it comes to my wardrobe I go all out. Meaning, all of my work, house, and casual clothes and so on are grouped together. But, I have taken it a step further as I have put everything in length and colour order. Why have I done this? I guess I had a lot of free time. Hehe! All of my shoes are in storage boxes as I want to keep them for as long as I can. And no, I am not a hoarder. I’m just… me.

3. Dressmaker

I absolutely love making my own clothes for the summer holidays; traveling and wearing items that no one has is a good feeling. Most of the time I see people staring at my clothes. My ultimate goal is to make everything that I wear as the clothes in the shop don’t quite fit me properly and the cost is unrealistic – especially when your salary stays the same.

4. Clean freak

Cleaning is my favourite hobby. Yes, I said hobby. Hehe! Cleaning is very soothing and it allows my mind to escape from reality. I could clean all day every day if I had the time. My friends often compliment me for how clean my house is as I could literally wipe my finger across the counter, table, and floor and nothing will be on it.

5. Boring

I am indeed boring. Yes, this is really a fact. I love staying indoors; I love my own company; I love me. I would rather go to dinner or for a long walk on my own. Why? Because, I am boring. Haha! The sound of other people chatting in to my ear is slightly irritating. My friends found it odd at first but, they have accepted me with open arms. However, if I need to go to an event or hang out with them, I will be there.

6. Photography

You would have realised by now that I barely post photos of myself on Instagram or on my blog, it’s because I love taking photos of objects and scenery instead. Once in a while I will put myself up on my insta story but, in all honesty I don’t know how to photograph myself like a pro.

My diet prevents me from drinking this … but, I couldn’t help snap a photo of it.

7. Honesty

I’m an honest person and I struggle to lie. So, when my friends ask for advice… It’s very difficult for me to beat around the bush; however, they do say “I already know your answer but I wanted to ask you anyway”. They really do make me laugh. My nominees for ‘The Versatile Blogger Award’ go to:

Faith n’ Turtles

Everything about Chrysty

Antoria Lynch | Mental Health Writer

I nominated them because they are the sweetest, nicest and down to earth ladies that I have ever come across on the blogging platform. I love reading their tweets and seeing what they get up to on a daily basis. Stay blessed ladies! X

Vanessa xo

#versatile #versatile blogger #london blogger #honest #spiritual #beliefs #boring #dress maker #photography #beverage #hot chocolate #micro blog #small blogger #brown blogger #all about me #just being real #london

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noradarhkpalmer · 6 years ago

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Rider, Massachusetts - The Epilogue

Title: Rider, Massachusetts

Rating: PG

Pairing: Nora Darhk/Ray Palmer aka Darhkatom

Warnings: Minor swearing

Summary/Notes: AU Based on an ask prompt: only two people in this hotel/inn and sitting in my room alone wasn’t fun so I’m invading yours.

Nora Darhk checks into the Storybrooke Inn after getting lost in the storm, pausing her road trip to be anywhere but Star City after the death of her parents. Ray Palmer’s GPS stops working on his way home from a business trip in New York and that brings him to the small picturesque inn. They’re the only two guests checked in and decide to be lonely together.

This started out as an ask prompt thanks to @jakelovesamy and now it turned into all of this. I am so please and so stoked about this. I’ve always wanted to write an ooey gooey holiday fic like this but never had the right idea.

Here is the epilogue everyone! I hope you enjoyed this darhkatom hallmark movie as much as I enjoyed writing it!

They hadn’t meant to fall asleep in each other’s arms in front of his fireplace last night, but they had. They stayed up talking until about 1:30 before sleep finally claimed them. Nora had momentarily freaked out at their state until Ray gave her a soft, reassuring smile that she hoped she’d see at least once daily for the rest of her life.

What in the world was she thinking? She had just met this man and she was already thinking about seeing his face every day for the rest of their lives? Get a hold of yourself, girl. Nora had politely excused herself to go back to her room to get ready for the day and promised to meet him downstairs for breakfast before either of them left. They both only checked in for one night and as long as the storm cleared, there was no reason for either of them to stay.

The thought saddened Nora, leaving their little holiday bubble but she knew that she’d see him again when they both got back to Star City. He’d be taking his rental car into Boston and she would start making the cross country road trip back to Star City just as he was boarding a plane back to Washington state. They promised to meet up at Jitters as soon as she got back.

Nora made her way downstairs to what she learned was the dining room. She’d seen Maude come out of it the night before but it had been mostly closed off since it was long past dinner time when she’d arrived. She saw the sun shining through the alcove window on one side of the room and then she saw Ray already sitting at the table with a small plate of breakfast. She gave him a soft smile before helping herself to the small buffet of food and settled down next to him.

“Morning… again…” Nora smiled over her cup of orange juice.

Ray grinned. “Good morning, Nora.” Ray scooped up some of his scrambled eggs and ate in a comfortable silence with her.

Nora glanced behind them and saw the snow piling high but a snow plow driving by paving the streets to make it driveable.

Ray noticed her staring and glanced back at the window. “Looks like they’re clearing up the roads.”

Nora nodded. “Yeah, guess this means it’ll be safe to drive.”

Ray watched her face fall to a slightly disappointed expression and he tipped her chin up to meet his gaze. “Hey, we’re gonna see each other again. Maybe not in a place this picturesque but you and me, Star City Jitters the second you get in. I wanna take you out on a real first date.”

Nora blushed and looked away. “I know, but maybe… if this goes well, we can come back here again during the holidays?”

Ray was nearly giddy at the thought of them returning here in a year. He wondered how serious they would be, still dating? Engaged? Surely not married yet, he didn’t want to scare her off but he also didn’t want life slipping through is fingers now and he was pretty sure she didn’t either. Not after all she’d lost.

“I would absolutely love that.” He smiled and took her hand then kissed the back of it.

xxxx

They both met downstairs in front of the reception desk with smiles. They were sure of their future together, more than ever.

Maude saddled up to the desk, looking thoroughly pleased with herself. “I see my only two guests got to meet.”

Nora nodded. “We met last night, we’re actually from the same city in Washington.”

“Really? How interesting and yet fate brought you all the way here to meet.” She had a knowing glint in her eye that made Ray and Nora glance at each other, wondering if she would magically disappear into thin air when they looked back.

Maude checked them out and wish them safe travels. “Oh! By the way, you two…”

Nora and Ray both turned around and smiled at Maude. “Yes?” They asked in unison and blushed at how in sync they already were.

“Shall I go ahead and reserve a room for you all next New Years Eve?”

Ray and Nora grinned. “That would be lovely, Maude, thank you,” Nora said and then turned on her heel and took Ray’s hand, leading him outside.

They helped each other pack up their cars and that’s when it finally hit Nora. Again. She wouldn’t see him for probably days. Sure they planned to FaceTime at night when she would stop but she wouldn’t get to hug him, touch him, feel his comforting gaze for days. It almost felt like they were over before they had begun. She knew that wasn’t true but that didn’t stop her lip from quivering and looking like a kicked puppy.

Ray saw Nora’s reaction just before he was about to start up his car and he went to her, putting his hands on her biceps, rubbing them comfortingly. “Hey… it’ll only be a few days, a week tops…” Ray kissed the top of her head and then pulled her in close.

Nora held on tight, she just lost her parents and now found this amazing guy, and was starting… something she wasn’t sure what to name yet, and now they were parting for who knew how long. What if the weather was bad? What if she had car trouble and got stranded?

Nora pulled away and swiped at her tears. “I’m sorry… I didn’t think I’d miss someone so much that I’ve known for less than twenty-four hours.”

Ray smiled and cupped her cheeks. “Me neither.” He was on the verge of tears as well but he tried to hold them back, to be strong for Nora. He wished he could come with her somehow but he wasn’t sure how that would all work with the two vehicles and the traveling and…

“Ray?”

“What?”

“Will you come with me?”

It was almost as if she read his mind. “What?” He asked.

Nora smiled weakly. “What if we met up in Boston and if you can, cancel your flight, and you road trip back to Star City with me?”

Ray choked on a laugh and pulled her in close. “I would absolutely love that, if that’s okay with you?”

Nora nodded. “I couldn’t think of a better way to start 2019 than with you.” She looked up at him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. “I’ll see you in Boston?”

Ray grinned and broke away from the hug but then stole one more kiss. “I’ll see you in Boston.”

One Year Later

Nora pulled up to the inn, it looked just like she remembered it from a year ago, only now she was seeing it in the daytime. She glanced over at her husband who took her hand in his and kissed it. Her wedding set glittered in the bright sunlight reflecting off the snow. Nora got out of the car and started unloading their bags. They had gotten there on the thirtieth, hoping to actually walk around the small town that brought them together and then stay inside practically all day on the thirty-first and ring in the New Year much like they had last year, with a kiss (and probably more).

So much had changed in the year. They had met up in Boston like they had agreed and road tripped back to Star City together. They quickly learned a lot about each other after being in close quarters for a week straight. Ray was a health nut, Nora loved junk food. Ray wanted to stop at every little landmark he knew a weird factoid about, Nora just wanted to get home. They had fights but always made up, and felt like they had lived a lifetime of their relationship all before they even got to their hometown.

When they eventually did arrive back in Star City, they went to Jitters, just like they had agreed to. The date was wonderful, thankful they did not have to immediately be in such close quarters after, and they parted ways with a sweet kiss the promise of further dates. After their road trip things momentarily slowed down for them, Ray’s job picked up and Nora was on the job hunt. She found a job as the drama teacher at a private high school in town, but wasn’t sure she’d get it. She was barely qualified and had to practically beg Ray not to somehow have a hand in her getting the job. He swore he didn’t and she believed him. And somehow, she got the job anyways.

Nora was happy to be teaching again, it just felt right. The structure of the school year gave her breaks, and she usually spent those in Ray’s bed which was slowly becoming their bed. The paintings he’d commissioned from local artists were moved to his office and the ones in his apartment were replaced with Nora’s. By May, Nora’s lease was up and Ray asked her to move in. She had immediately agreed.

They were happy. Happier than Nora ever thought she’d be and happier than Ray thought he could ever be again. They had their problems, just being so different but something always pulled them back to each other. They spent most of the summer at the beach, thankful for Nora’s break from the school and Nora was thankful that Ray spent almost the entire vacation shirtless. Things were serious and they were only seven months in.

By the fall, they had quite a domestic routine, get up, get ready, kiss goodbye, part ways in the apartment complex parking garage, and be off to their jobs. Sometimes if Nora didn’t have meetings after school she’d come by and visit him, keep him company if he wasn’t too busy until it was time to leave at five. Those were her favorite days because she got to have a few extra hours with the man she loved.

She met his somewhat estranged family at Thanksgiving. It was clear they were threatened by Ray’s success, his mom was nice enough and she could’ve been a little nicer without all the digs about how she was basically inferior to Anna in some way or another. They had left that thoroughly exhausted and she felt bad she didn’t have a family to bring him to for a peaceful reprieve. Not that her family would have been much better but she liked to think her dad would have at least liked him.

As the year inched closer to the one year anniversary of her parents’ deaths, Nora felt herself becoming increasingly closed off. She tried not to be. Ray was amazing and they had built this fantastic relationship in the span of less than a year. She was so sure she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life but she also knew that dealing with all of these feelings again would be hard.

She decided to take a leap of faith and actually go to Ray with some of her pain. Not all of it but crying on him when they were home and she was feeling sad. It actually helped her to get through her next wave of sadness just a little bit. And she was grateful that he was there to be her rock.

On her birthday, he had the whole day planned. She still wasn’t quite in the mood for fun but she indulged him, hoping that would turn into genuine enjoyment of the day. He had taken her to all of their favorite spots in Star City and ended the day with a quiet dinner at home. He knew her well enough to know a fancy dinner at a bought out restaurant was not her style. No sitting quietly with him eating Chinese out of a takeout box was.

Ray handed her a fortune cookie once they finished eating and when she broke it in half, a ring tumbled out and into her lap. She looked up at him, tears brimming and Ray nodded. He had told her how much she meant to him and how he didn’t want to let life slip through his fingers and he knew she felt the same. He wanted to marry her. So he asked her formally and she said yes. A million times yes.

They hadn’t planned on getting married so soon after that but they figured why wait? Planning their whirlwind wedding was the best distraction to help her cope with the pain of the one year anniversary of her parents’ death. She knew they’d want her to be happy. And she would be. The ceremony was incredibly small, in a chapel that fit less than 200 on the property of an older church, they exchanged vows in front of his friends that had quickly become hers as well and even his family was in attendance. He wanted to try and make things better with them now too.

That was Christmas Day. Now they were here, in Rider where it all started and Ray and Nora could not be more excited to see what this weekend and the new year would bring for their marriage.

They made their way into the inn that had been so good to them and smiled brightly at Maude. It had been a year and she had only known them for a matter of hours but it was like seeing a beloved grandmother. She ran over to them and embraced them both.

“If it isn’t my favorite guests!”

Nora rolled her eyes. “Maude, I’m sure you’ve had more regular guests than us.” Nora tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with her left hand and that’s when Maude saw her rings.

Maude squealed and yanked her hand close to inspect the rings. “Oh you did very good, Mr. Palmer. I’m assuming that means I should change the reservation to be for a Mr. and Mrs. Palmer?”

Nora and Ray both grinned. “If you want,” said Ray. “But that’s not necessary given that we’ll be in the room either way.”

Maude hugged them both again and patted each of their cheeks. “Well we’ll just have to get settled you both and I’ll make sure to lay out the lucky baby making blanket on your bed.”

Nora choked on a laugh. “The umm what?”

“It’s an old blanket my grandmother made that I rotate through the rooms because it’s just a very pretty afghan to begin with but I started noticing a pattern with returning guests, every time I would have that in a room of a couple that stayed here, the next time they would visit the wife was usually pregnant or they had a child in that time span.”

Nora’s face flushed red, she and Ray may have had a bit of an accelerated relationship but she definitely wasn’t ready for it to be that accelerated. Even if the thought of a little girl with Ray’s beautiful brown eyes did make her shiver pleasantly. “Maude that’s very kind of you…” Nora wasn’t sure what else to say. How do you not hurt the feelings of the woman that brought you and your husband together? Even if she was insinuating that you were going to get pregnant during your stay at her inn?

“Then it’s settled! Let’s get you checked in and upstairs to your room!”

Nora and Ray laughed quietly together, they had never had someone care about them this much in such a motherly way and it was appreciated, even if it was a bit invasive.

xxxx

Once Maude left them alone in their room, Nora picked up the blanket Maude had been raving about. It was a worn afghan that was laid at the end of the bed, granny squares were carefully stitched together, probably about as many squares as the blanket was old. She studied it carefully when she felt hands tickle her sides. Nora yelped and elbowed Ray playfully.

“Not funny! You know I’m jumpy!”

“Thinking long and hard about whether or not you want to leave the baby making blanket on our bed?”

Nora rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I am not. I would like for it to be just us for a little while longer.” Nora tossed the blanket to a chair in the corner. “Call me selfish but I don’t want to share you with anyone yet, even if that someone would be an adorable baby with your sweet brown eyes.” She turned in his arms and carded her fingers through his hair before gently yanking on the hair at the nape of his neck. “You’re mine and mine alone.” Nora pulled him in for a deep kiss, biting as his bottom lip as she pulled away from the kiss.

Ray, quite breathless at his wife’s actions, smiled at her. “You’ll be the death of me, Nora Palmer.”

Nora flushed pleasantly at the use of her married name. “Yeah well, I better keep you alive, who else am I supposed to kiss at midnight?”

“Maude might be into it, you never know,” Ray joked and she swatted him on the arm.

“You’re the only one I want to be kissing and doing other things probably, at midnight.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement.” Ray grinned and pulled her in for another kiss.

#darhkatom #ray palmer #nora darhk #legends of tomorrow #fic #prompt #ask #jakelovesamy

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madeleineandwilliam-ff · 7 years ago

Text

Chapter Nine

The rest of the month of November flew by once Madeleine returned home to London, where final exams and essays awaited her in the final weeks of her first semester of college. William kept himself equally as busy, but the pair managed to make time for phone calls, texts and AIMs during their class breaks and study sessions.

They welcomed December with harsh, bitter winds and lots and lots of snow. The month of December would also be the month of Madeleine’s first official engagement in London. Once she returned to London back in November, the Swedish Royal Court bombarded her with calls.

Over the last couple of months, the Swedish press had dubbed her “the absentee princess” as she hadn’t been on an official engagement since her move to London in August. Her parents had asked her to complete a joint engagement with her father’s older sisters, Princess Margaretha and Princess Birgitta. The engagement planned for the following week was a concert at the Royal Albert Hall for Swedish Pianist, Robert Hall. Louise was also set to accompany Madeleine and her aunts to the event, as a sort of comfort to Madeleine’s nerves.

“So what does one wear to see a pianist at the Royal Albert Hall anyways?” Louise asked Madeleine from her spot in Madeleine’s doorway of her bedroom.

Madeleine was curled up in her window seat with a fresh cup of coffee, engrossed in the second book from the Harry Potter series, The Chamber of Secrets as she briefly turned her attention to her best friend. “Your Sunday best?”

“My Sunday best, what are you eighty?” Louise replied, laughing. “That’s not nearly enough detail, Leni. Do I dress professional? Casual? Slutty?”

Madeleine was attempting to finish her current chapter in her book, but she sighed and rolled her eyes at Louise as she closed her book with a loud smack. Louise knew the word “slutty” would truly get Madeleine’s full attention. “Professional would be best, Lussan.”

“How about professional with a hint of slutty?” Louise asked with a devilish grin.

Madeleine chuckled. “Oh Birgitta and Margaretha would looove that.”

Louise rolled her eyes. “Are they prudes? Have I met them before? Your father’s sisters have a tendency to blur together after so many encounters, no offense.”

“Yes, you’ve met them a few times at birthday parties and at my graduation party. And they’re okay, the more proper of my dad’s four sisters as they’re the two eldest. Birgitta is more carefree, whereas Margaretha is more serious. They’ll like you, Margaretha is excited for the visit. She called briefly this morning.”

“Are they staying with us or has the Court arranged otherwise?” Louise asked, plopping herself down on Madeleine’s bed.

“They’re staying at a hotel about five minutes away. They’ll be over for tea on the eighth and then the concert is the evening of the ninth, then they’ll go home early on the morning of the tenth for the Nobel festivities.” Madeleine replied.

She was excited for her aunts to visit, but of course she was nervous. She didn’t grow up around them like she did her aunt and godmother, her father’s other sister, Princess Christina. She normally only saw Birgitta and Margaretha for special occasions like holidays, weddings, graduations and other big family events. They always got on well, but Madeleine was only ever comfortable with them when her parents were in the vicinity.

“Sounds good.” Louise replied as she began to flip through a gossip magazine on Madeleine’s bedside table.

“Hey Lussan?” Madeleine said, biting her lip.

“Yeah, Len?”

“Thank you again for coming with me. I know it's not your ideal way to spend a Friday night during finals week with me, and my aunts you hardly know. I normally wouldn’t ask but, I’m so freaked out about this event. The Court is worried the press may keep on me with the “absent princess” stuff if I don’t do well with this.”

“Ah, Leni. Of course, that is what best-friends are for. I know I could count on you if I was in the same situation. You’re going to kick that engagement square in the ass, if you ask me. Your aunts have done this before, they’ll be a good help for you. I’m just moral support.” Louise replied with a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, let’s hope so.”

The next day, Madeleine found herself sitting alone at a table at The Roasted Bean, a small, quaint coffee shop that was conveniently located down the road from her apartment. Over the last few months, Madeleine had grown to love the small hole in the wall coffee shop. It was very peaceful, as most people still preferred the Starbucks around the corner. But it worked out to Madeleine’s advantage as the shop was mostly a ghost town during her afternoon study sessions.

She was studying away for not one, but three of her finals that she was due to take the next day. However, her dyslexia had decided to kick in in the most convenient of moments, hindering her ability to concentrate on reading and note taking.

She had ordered her usual White Chocolate Mocha and chocolate croissant and instead of studying found herself people watching. The City of London was hustling and bustling around her with only weeks to go until Christmas. Many Londoners carried shopping bags that were filled with trinkets for their loved ones as they came and went. Snow was falling and the sun had long gone down with only the lights from Christmas decorations and street lights illuminating the sidewalks.

Since her move to London, Madeleine had found herself appreciating the art of people watching. It was more the art of normalcy she supposed she appreciated the most. Madeleine envied the random pedestrians as they passed her, they were the definition of normal - shopping as they pleased, going places without protection officers.

In Stockholm, she’d never had the pleasure of sitting in peace, just watching the world pass her by. But in London she had the glory of not being recognized around every street corner. That is, unless, she was being chased by the paparazzi, due to her own position and now the added plus of who her high profile boyfriend was.

Outside the window of the coffee shop, Madeleine spotted her protection officers, Olle and Ludvig, waiting for her in the parked Range Rover. This was another plus with London, she didn’t need them with her every second of every day - she only needed them on standby. It was nice to not feel watched by not only them, but by people she’d never met in her life. It was somewhat peaceful, especially since the press had otherwise become focused on things other than her relationship with William.

“Madde?”

Madeleine sprang to attention at the mention of her name. No. Someone had found her, or recognized her. This was her safe place, apparently not anymore. She turned to the voice, sighing as she looked up from her seat.

But this was no stranger to her, nor to her circle of friends back home in Sweden either. It was the boy who her friend, Emma Pernald, had wanted to set her up with just before she moved to London. Jonas Bergstrom.

Madeleine expected to see him in Stockholm, however not in London. She had no idea why he would be here as he was studying law back home in Sweden. Madeleine sighed as she turned to the tall, brunette with dazzling blue eyes. He was handsome, she would admit to that. But incredibly obnoxious, if you asked Madeleine.

“Jonas! Hi!” Madeleine exclaimed, trying to hide her surprise at seeing him in her city.

Jonas smiled at her, his blue eyes shining as he looked down at her. “So it is you! Emma mentioned that you were studying in London, but when I booked a trip here I never thought I’d actually see you!”

Madeleine shrugged her shoulders. “I supposed it really is a small world.”

“Indeed it is.” Jonas replied as he gestured to the empty seat at Madeleine’s table. “Can I sit?”

“Uhm, sure. Why not?” Madeleine replied, a polite smile on her face. She knew that Jonas had a thing for her, and he was a flirt anytime he saw her. He didn’t like not getting what his heart desired, however Madeleine clearly didn’t reciprocate these feelings.

Jonas took his seat, setting his coffee down. “I still can’t believe this. Princess Madeleine of Sweden! In London!”

“Uhh....yes. But if you wouldn’t mind saying that quite so loud, please?” Madeleine asked in a hushed tone. The last thing she wanted was for the baristas to know who she was, that would ruin this place for her altogether.

“Oh right, sorry.” Jonas replied, a slight flush coming to his cheeks.

“No don’t worry about it.” Madeleine replied, feeling a shift in the air. She’d made it awkward, of course. “So, what brings you to London anyways?”

Jonas perked up. “The opportunity has come up for me to study abroad here next summer. I’m just checking some places out and the college, of course.”

“Oh, what a great opportunity. Are you liking what you’ve seen so far?” Madeleine asked as she took a bite of chocolate croissant.

Jonas flashed her a smile and if Madeleine wasn’t mistaken he winked at her. Yes, winked at her. “Very much so. There are some great views in London.”

Madeleine had to refrain from rolling her eyes at him. Here he went with his flirting. The boy was so clueless it was painful. And apparently didn’t know, or care about the fact that she was publically dating William. However, Madeleine kept her cool. “There are some great places to visit as well.”

Jonas nodded in agreement. “Any place you’d suggest I visit?”

“Well, Big Ben is a must. Kensington and Buckingham Palaces are never a let down. And the London Eye is amazing.”

“Sounds like you’ve visited all the sights.” Jonas paused as he took a sip of his coffee. “Any chance you’d be available to show me around town? You might be able to sell me on London, more so than I already am.”

Madeleine tried not to display her displeasure on her face. He was a mutual friend, however he clearly wanted to be more than that in her life. There was just something she couldn’t quite pinpoint about him that she just didn’t like. Or maybe his blatantly obvious flirting was what it was. Whatever it was she did not want to show him around London.

“Normally, I could. But it's finals week for me and I’m slammed until I go home to Stockholm for Christmas.” Madeleine replied, gesturing to the several textbooks sitting in front of her. And she wasn’t lying, she didn’t have much free time. But what little free time she did have would be spent with William or on the phone with him, that was for certain.

“Ah, I see. You’re probably pretty busy with William too.” Jonas replied with a smirk.

Again, Madeleine had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She could not figure out why her friend, Emma, liked this boy so much so that she wanted to set him up with her. He was the most annoying, conniving thing she’d ever met. There was clearly an ulterior motive to this conversation.

“Not really, we’re long distance.” Madeleine replied with narrowed eyes.

“Oh so, you’re not that serious I take it?” Jonas asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

Madeleine shifted uncomfortably in her chair. This conversation was going down hill. Quick.

“You know, we’re taking it one day at a time.” Madeleine replied with pursed lips.

“Gotcha. That William, though. He seems like a bit of a playboy, from what I’ve heard.” Jonas replied, casually.

He clearly only approached her to piss her off. That was painfully obvious. He was jealous of her relationship with William. And was still holding a torch for Madeleine ever since the failed setup that her friends had tried to organize.

“You know what Jonas, thank you.” Madeleine said, curtly. She was over this.

“Thank you? For what?” Jonas asked smiling.

“Thank you for proving to me of what a fantastic decision it was to...” Madeleine began, but forced herself to stop as Olle approached her.

He’d left his position from the Range Rover and came and whispered in her ear. “Isn’t it time you head to the library, Madeleine?”

Madeleine let out a sigh of relief after the save from Olle. She clearly would’ve said something she would later come to regret. Her hotheadedness once again got the best of her as she gathered her books and said a quick goodbye to Jonas.

On her way out to the car, beside Olle she turned to him. “Thanks for the save in there, Olle.”

“No problem, Madeleine. We remembered your dislike for him the last time, and he clearly wasn’t getting the message.” He replied, opening the back door of the Range Rover for her.

As she slid in the backseat, she smiled. “Jonas Bergstrom is clearly not a face you should forget. Please save me anytime you see him. He’s an asshole.”

Olle and Ludvig burst into laughter. “Whatever you say, Princess.”

A few hours later, Madeleine returned home to her flat. After her encounter with Jonas at The Roasted Bean, she studied at the university’s library for a bit and later went grocery shopping at Waitrose.

As she walked into the front doorway, she dropped her bookbag at the door and carried the groceries into the kitchen.

“Lussan! You here?” Madeleine yelled as she began to put the milk in the fridge.

“Ohhh, Leni! Yay!” Louise exclaimed as she popped in the doorway of the kitchen, a smile on her face.

“What’s got you so excited?” Madeleine asked, her brow furrowed as she continued to put their groceries away.

“Well, you’ll never believe who called me this afternoon...” Louise trailed off as the ringing of their doorbell trilled through the flat and she disappeared down the hall.

“Louise! Who is here? I didn’t invite anyone tonight...” Madeleine questioned as she followed Louise down the hall.

Madeleine stopped in her tracks as she rounded the corner in the hallway and saw who their guest was. Now this was no coincidence.

Here he was again.

Uninvited and unwanted. In her flat. Jonas Bergstrom.

As Madeleine turned to Louise to ask her to come to the other room for a quick chat, she couldn’t help but notice that this guest was very wanted and invited by her best friend. Wonderful.

Louise was all giggly and full of excitement as she smiled up at Jonas. “Jonas, I’m so glad you called. It’s been too long, honestly.”

“It has, sweet Lussan.” Jonas replied, wrapping Louise into a hug as his blue eyes met Madeleine’s.

“Jonas! My, my aren’t we full of surprises? For the second time today!” Madeleine exclaimed with her eyes narrowed as she observed him.

Jonas had since changed his outfit from jeans and a sweatshirt from earlier in the day, to a nice blue button down shirt that complimented his eyes and dark wash jeans. His hair was more styled and there was the hint of overbearing cologne coming from his direction. God, he was full of it.

Louise furrowed her brow and looked to Madeleine. “Wait you knew Jonas was in town, Leni? Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I was just about to when I walked in but here he is!” Madeleine paused, turning to Jonas. “What brings you here tonight, Jonas?”

“Ah well, since you couldn’t show me around London, I rang Lussan and she gladly accepted the invitation to accompany me. I’m just here to pick her up.” Jonas replied with a sly smile.

Madeleine tried to stop herself from scowling in his direction. “I see. Where exactly are you two going?”

Louise replied this time. “Well I figured I’d take him to some of the places William took you to, Leni. I was thinking London Eye, London Dungeon, maybe Buckingham Palace if there’s time.”

Madeleine nodded. “Well, you two should go then. Before it's too late, don’t let me keep you.”

Louise waved her hand in the air. “Nonsense, I was actually going to invite you! Can’t you come?”

Jonas didn’t give Madeleine a chance to answer before he interjected and answered for her. “Didn’t you say you were studying tonight, Madeleine? Unless your plans have changed.”

Madeleine couldn’t believe she’d been put in this position with him for the second time today. Where were Olle and Ludvig to save the day this time? While Madeleine had gotten most of her studying out of the way, she still had zero interest in spending an evening with Jonas.

“You’re right, Jonas. I have a big paper due in English Lit tomorrow, so I better not. You two have fun though.” Madeleine replied, trying to urge him out of their flat as quickly as possible.

“Such a shame.” Jonas paused. “Maybe next time?”

“We’ll see.” Madeleine replied, shifting awkwardly.

Louise grabbed her coat from the hall closet. “Let’s head out and leave Madeleine to her studying. Come on Jonas.”

“Right. Have a good night, Madeleine.” Jonas replied, smiling with a glimmer in his eye.

“You as well.” Madeleine mumbled as she watched Louise close the door behind them.

But now, Madeleine would have anything but a “nice” night. She was in complete disbelief at Jonas. Louise was clearly under the impression that he had different intentions with his visit that night, but Madeleine saw right through him. This was Jonas’ way to her, and she wasn’t going to let him hurt her best friend in the process.

Author’s Note: Hey readers! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! And there was a new character introduction! What will Jonas Bergstrom’s (Madeleine’s ex-fiance in real life) role be in this story? ;)

#royal fanfic #royalfanficcollection #royalfanficcentral #princess madeleine ff #prince william ff

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yourjughead · 7 years ago

Text

River

Sweet Pea x Reader

A/N: Not requested, just some idea I had and i wanted to take a quick break from resurrecting old fics and writing requests. Let me know what you think and I know SP comes across a little stalker-ish at the start. My apologizes as well for the length, its 2250 words, that’s both satisfying and unplanned.

((As always my commentary is in double brackets for those of you who are new, even though I don’t think there’s any of my commentary in this particular fic).

—————————————————–

Sweet Pea POV

Sweetwater river. The site or many holidays, summer days, early graves. Sweetwater river for me was where I fell in love. In love with a girl I hadn’t even met.

There is a house across the river, small, quaint, not close enough. In it lives a family consisting of a dad, a mom, a son and a daughter. It was the daughter I was captivated by. Without sounding creepy I would watch her from my lakeside trailer whenever I could. That definitely sounded creepy. She was just enchanting and I had never said a word to her. Most days she’d sit by the water and read, I wish I knew what but she wasn’t quite close enough. I’m sure she’s seen me once or twice staring but not for long enough that she’d recognise me.

She was North and I was South, we were polar opposites but she was still magnetic. I didn’t know her name or her voice or even totally her face but yet I felt I knew her better than I knew myself. I loved a girl I didn’t know and it was torture.

“Hey pea your girlfriend is outside again” Fangs stood looking out my kitchen window that faced onto the river. I didn’t like having him stare at her, I felt she should only be for my eyes.

“Give it a rest Fangs” he put his arms up in defense, walking away and I looked out the window he once did and there she sat. Reading but not alone.

“Is that…is that Jones?!”

“Hmm holy shit it really looks like him!” Fangs rejoined my side and squinted as I did at the two shapes.

“Ring him” fangs did as I said and as I heard Jughead answer on the line the new figure across the lake held a phone to his head.

“Hello?” Jughead echoed but Fangs just hung up, both of our eyes locked on the two of them.

“Oh my god”

“So Jones knows your wife more than you do” I shoved him and he laughed. I can’t believe it. A way to truly know her.

“You should ask him if he’ll introduce you” hmm I wasn’t sure, they say not to meet your idols…they say nothing about not making out with your idols though.

“Yeah maybe”

“Maybe? Try definitely!”

“He’d never go for it, Jughead and I aren’t exactly friends and besides he likes to keep North and South separate”

“Doesn’t everyone” Fangs sighed and I did the same, our eyes still watching the two.

“Maybe if you ask nicely” he tried again.

“I don’t know how to do that”

“Simple, Excuse me Mr.Jones I would very much like to court your lady friend with your help and then also possibly bang her brains out” I shoved him again this time harder and into the kitchen cabinets, he still laughed. Idiot.

“She might come to the drag race?”

“Mmm she doesn’t seem like the drag racing kind of girl”

“How could you possibly know that? She’s way over there, she could be a DragRacer ((drag queen halleloo)) for all you know”

“I suppose…fine, Fangs wingman me, set it up” I patted his shoulder and he nodded grabbing his phone to text Jughead. I watched Jughead reply from across the river. I was going to meet this girl.After a while later Fangs returned beaming.

“Okay so she can’t go to the drag race-” my heart sank “-but she’s going to that crazy red headed girls party after wards and Jughead said he can get us and some other Serpents invited” I tried my hardest not to smile but I couldn’t help it.

“Oh dude stop doing that it’s freaking me out”

The race was a total mess, I should have been the one driving and that Archie dude shouldn’t have messed with the race like that. Those Ghoulies are going to come back to haunt him. The brightside was however that the party I had been waiting for had finally arrived. Fangs mocked me the entire time I got ready, fixing and refixing my hair over and over again. I was so nervous, what if she’s awful? What if she thinks I’m awful? What has Jughead already told her about me? Oh God this is a mistake, giant mistake, mistake mistake mistake.

Before i knew it I was deep behind enemy lines in a house that was just too big for 3 people. Then. Then. Then I saw her. Up close. It was the weirdest thing and it felt like I had swallowed my tongue.

“Oh Sweet Pea!” Oh shit. Jughead had seen me. He guided her over towards me, a drink flute in her hand. Oh god, is it too late to run. It’s not too late to run.

“Sweet Pea, this is my friend YN, Yn, Sweet Pea” yn, I had never heard a name so beautiful or see a smile so gorgeous. I knew I was staring but like always I couldn’t tear my eyes from her.

“Hi Sweet Pea, nice to meet you”

“Uhhhh” oh shit, I can’t talk to her, I can’t sound nicer than she does. She looked at Jughead before looking back to me and smiled. Do you think if I took a photo of her right now she’d find that odd? Oh shit I still haven’t spoken, she bit her lip then and didn’t make it any easier, my mouth growing increasingly dry. I need alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

“Uhh beer yes me now thanks” and then I just bolted off. Who am I? I’m usually great at talking to girls, I could flirt for days and yet not with the person I really want to. Oh god she probably thinks I’m an idiot…that isn’t to say that Jughead hasn’t already told her I’m an idiot.

For the rest of the night I had managed to almost completely avoid herself and Jughead. It was going great until i was in dire need of a cigarette to calm myself down. I finally found my way to the back porch in that castle of a house and promptly lit my crutch.

“Nice night isn’t it?” I froze dead on the spot to the sound of her angelic voice. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Mmm I’m yn, we met earlier, just reminding you incase you forgot” I could never forget her as much as I may try. She joined my side and we both looked out on the vast property. I looked out of the side of my eye to see her once again biting her lip.

“Coul-could you not do that” did I say that? It sounded like me but I don’t remember telling my mouth to that.

“Do what?” She turned fully to me and was smiling again.

“Biting your lip” there I go again, mouth not consulting my brain.

“Oh sorry I didn’t even realize I was going it, habit…does it bother you?” She chuckled softly before beaming again. Wow this girl is smiley and wow this girl is super attractive.

“It doesn’t bother me it’s just…nevermind” I looked back to the landscape.

“Wait…you live close to me don’t you?”

“What?! Me?! No! Coming Fangs!” I tried to make my panicked exit but she caught my forearm laughing lightly.

“No one called you?”

“Uhhh” the feeling of her touch was addicting.

“I don’t normally have this effect on people”

“I’m sorry, you just make me kind of nervous” why the fuck am I admitting that?! I must be drunk!

“I make you nervous?” Why is she laughing? I’m a big joke to her aren’t I? I should just have Archie’s crazy girlfriend shoot me now. I only nodded in reply. I towered over her but felt only 2ft tall.

“Would you rather I left you alone” I could only shake my head again and she beamed.

“Well I’m afraid I’m going to have to, curfew is kind of soon and it’s going to take some time for the bus to get here, bye Sweet Pea” she gently squeezed my arm which spurred me on.

“Wait Yn” I didn’t do her name justice but she still responded to me.

“Well if you don’t mind motorbikes then I can bring you home” I shuffled on the spot, what a stupid thing to ask. I snuffed out my cigarette trying to just do anything to distract her.

“Really? Oh thank you so much! Only if it’s not too much out of your way”

“Nah I live right across the river” I smiled before my face dropped. Damn it I got cocky.

“Wait…I knew you looked familiar-” shit shit shit abort mission abort mission abort mission

“-you’re the guy who is always outside doing yard work whenever I’m reading” at first I thought she might think I’m weird for it but her smile settled me slightly. I nodded again, my heart only just starting to restart.

“I wish we met sooner Sweet Pea, especially since you’re so close”

“Me too…maybe we should go out some time” yes, that’s it Sweets, confident, cool, collected.

“Or I don’t know maybe not, you’re probably busy with other guys or maybe even girls or I don’t know, sorry for wasting your time” idiot.

“You didn’t waste my time don’t be silly-” she took my hand in hers, her laugh filling the bitter night air. I feel like I could almost do anything and she’d find the positive side.

“-id love to go on a date with you….or sorry I meant-”

“-yeah, a date” they could probably see my goofy grin from space. She took out her phone before seeming to fire off a quick text.

“That’d be really nice sweet pea”

“Well I should probably get you home”

“Its okay I texted my mom and said I’m going to stay with Betty, she doesn’t mind…id rather stay here and talk to you anyway” she smiled at me again

“Oh that’s great” i forced down the blush as best i could but she definitely saw.

“You’re a Serpent right” I could only nod. Oh god she thinks I’m a hardened criminal, she’ll never want to be around me again and then I have no idea what happened.

Before I could fully comprehend what was happening I had yn in my arms as we kissed furiously then next thing I knew I was speeding her back to my trailer and had her against the wall. It was like I was high on yn, not totally understanding what was happening.

“This-is-not-what-i-thought-was-going-to-happen” I tried as best I could to get my words out between kisses, not really wanting to be separated from her for too long. She ran her hands through my hair before pulling my head back from hers

“But is this what you want to happen?” She breathed, sending shivers down my spine.

“You have no idea” I pressed her against the wall again before snaking my hands across her ass and lifting her from the ground, her legs wrapping like snakes around my torso. I carried her to my bedroom, taking a moment to share open mouth kisses against my door frame to my room. Perks of living alone. I threw her onto the bed a lot harder than I meant to but she didn’t seem phased, she just began ripping off her clothes while I did the same. I can’t believe this is happening. I was only halfway unbuttoning this stupid shirt before she was pulling down on top of her. Remind me to buy Jughead a beer next time I see him. She bit my bottom lip before attaching herself to my neck, my own hands tracing down her body. Remind me to buy Jughead a house next time I see him. It then felt as if I blacked out, like i had wanted this for so long that i just hit euphoria, out of body experience.

I woke up with yn tucked into my chest, the light cascading her perfectly. I traced little circles on her lower back and she hummed.

“Morning” “Morning” she stretched against me before cuddling back in.

“OH MY GOD” she the shot up from my arms and began frantically putting on clothes.

“What’s wrong?!” “I should get home!” she only managed to get on her underwear before I interrupted.

“What’s the rush, you live right over there, you could swim” i reached out and caught her by the waist pulling her back into me as she filled the trailer with the beautiful sound of her laugh. She rolled against me and i still can’t believe she’s here with me.

“We could stay here all day” my legs mixed in with hers.

“We could…but we shouldn't” “But we will?”

“But we will” she laughed reaching up to kiss me.

“Is that your Serpent jacket?” she sat up from me again but my arms were still wrapped around her waist as i nodded. She stretched down to the end of the bed grabbing the worn leather and draping it over her almost bare body, it was miles too big and still somehow suited her.

“Well? Am I gang material?” she struck a pose before laughing as i pulled her into me, kissing her neck and collarbone all over. It was the start of something i couldn’t even imagine in that minute, she never read a book by the river alone again.

——————————————————————-

Chrissy Xx

#riverdale #riverdalexreader #riverdale x reader #riverdale imagines #riverdale x reader fluff #riverdale x reader smut #sweet pea #sweet pea x oc #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea fic #sweet pea x reader #sweetpeaxreader #southside #southside serpents #southside serpent x reader #riverdale southside #riverdale fic #riverdale fanfiction

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danrdarrenc · 7 years ago

Text

Best Friends Since Forever

Will and Paul and Sonny are three best friends in their last semester at Salem High. Will and Paul are both on the baseball team. Sonny is their nerdy but lovable friend. What happens when someone realizes they want to be more than friends?

or, the high school!teen!baseball!au @dinglehorton asked for. One-sided WilSon, Horita endgame.

“So. You guys ready for the season to start?” Sonny asked. He was sitting in the Java Cafe in Salem Place with his two best friends, Will Horton and Paul Narita.

They were catching up after the winter holidays, Paul having been off in Japan visiting his late mother’s family, and Will having spent Christmas in Switzerland with his Aunt Carrie, Uncle Austin, and young cousin, Noah. Sonny had stayed in Salem with his parents and three older brothers who had graced Salem with their presences for the first time since they had gone off to college.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me,” Will moaned, dropping his head onto his arms, which were folded on the table in front of him.

Paul snorted in amusement. “Will neglected his training over the offseason no matter how many times I bugged him about it.”

Sonny grinned. “What about you?” Sonny asked Paul.

“I’ve been in the gym every day for the last two months. I’ve been practicing my pitching with Dad. I’m ready.”

“Showoff,” Will mumbled, his face still in his arms.

“What about you, Sonny?” Paul asked, taking a sip of his coffee. “You going to try out for the team this year?” It was the same question Paul had asked Sonny since middle school, when he and Will had first joined the school team.

Sonny laughed nervously. “I don’t think so. I can barely walk without tripping over my own feet.” It was the same answer he gave every year.

Will picked his head up to laugh. “Come on, Son. It’ll be fun. It’s our last year of high school! You don’t have to play. You could be the bat boy or something.”

“You’d be surrounded by a lot of cute boys,” Paul teased.

Sonny had come out to them two years ago, during their summer break between Freshman and Sophomore year. Will had admitted he was also gay almost immediately after Sonny’s confession. Paul followed them out of the closet a month later, just before the start of the school year.

They had been best friends since forever, Will and Paul having grown up together due to John and Marlena being married just before they started elementary school, and Will and Sonny having grown up together due to sharing cousins in JJ and Abigail Deveraux and Aunt Jennifer and Uncle Jack. Will had been Paul and Sonny’s link but they had hit it off immediately and the three of them became inseparable, spending practically every minute of their lives together that was not occupied by school or their families.

Nothing had changed between them, the three of them being out, except that perhaps they had formed an even tighter bond in solidarity with each other.

At least that had been the case until this past summer, when Sonny had realized he was in love with Will.

Sonny blushed under Will and Paul’s teasing. “All the same. I think my place is in the stands.”

Will laughed. “Spoilsport.”

“We should get going if we don’t want to be late for our first class,” Sonny said by way of response.

“Always so serious about school,” Paul said, but followed Sonny’s lead in clearing their table.

“We don’t all have a full scholarship to Salem University,” Sonny answered, as they walked out of the coffee shop into Salem Place and headed towards Salem High School.

Over winter break, Paul had gotten the news that he was being given a full ride to the town’s college. His grades were excellent but he was to be the star pitcher of the university’s baseball team.

Will was also granted a scholarship to Salem University, although not a full ride, but significant enough that he couldn’t turn it down. Although he was to play on the baseball team beside Paul, Will’s scholarship was an academic one and he looked forward to pursuing a career in sports journalism.

Paul had the decency to blush.

“Sonny, you’re the valedictorian of the class by like twelve points. You’re not going to fail if you miss one class,” Will said, trying to lighten up his friend.

“Still. I’d not rather not miss a class.”

Will shook his head in exasperation at the old, tired argument and they walked the rest of the way to school in silence.

“I can’t move,” Will said, falling face first onto Sonny’s bed.

“Practice was that bad?” Sonny peered at Will’s dramatics over the top of the book he was reading.

“I already hurt everywhere and it’s only been one day,” Will mumbled into the comforter.

“Where’s Paul?”

Will turned his head so he could talk and breathe properly. “He’s having dinner with John. Just us tonight.”

“Won’t your mom be wondering where you are?”

“Probably not. Too busy boning EJ or something.”

“Will!”

Will swatted away Sonny’s scandalous objection and crawled up the bed to sit next to Sonny. As soon as he was settled, Will plucked the book out of Sonny’s hands. “Let’s watch a movie.”

“I have homework to finish.”

Will glared at Sonny. “It’s the first day back from break. How much work can you possibly have? Come on, Sonny! We haven’t had a sleepover just the two of us in ages. You pick a movie. I’ll make some popcorn.”

Will grinned at him, leaving Sonny no choice but to concede. “Alright,” Sonny sighed.

Will squeezed Sonny’s leg in his excitement and hopped off the bed to go downstairs to make the promised popcorn.

Sonny stared after him, willing his heart to stop beating a mile a minute. He was acutely aware that tonight would be the first time since realizing he loved Will that the two of the them would be sleeping over together just the two of them. It would do him no favors to freak out over spending the night with Will without Paul as a buffer. For the last six months, Sonny had made sure to always make plans that included all three of them, staving off plans with just Will if Paul wasn’t available.

“What movie did you pick?” Will asked, coming back into Sonny’s bedroom with a big bowl of popcorn.

“Star Wars?”

“We’ve seen that like a hundred times.”

“We’ve seen all my movies a hundred times.”

“True. Star Wars is good. You choose which one.” Will resettled himself on Sonny’s bed and immediately began stuffing popcorn into his mouth.

Sonny’s lips turned up at the corners as he turned away from Will to grab a random Star Wars movie off his shelf and popped the disc into the DVD player. Steeling himself, Sonny crawled onto the bed next to Will, hyper aware that their elbows were touching.

They watched the movie in comfortable silence for about a half an hour until Will asked, “Are you alright?”

“What?”

“Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet.”

“I’m fine,” Sonny answered, trying not to panic that Will was picking up on his stress.

“Are you sure? Is this because Paul and I were teasing you about school? Because you know we don’t mean anything by it.”

“I know,” Sonny replied, focusing pointedly on the movie. “What are you doing?” Will had paused the movie.

“I want you to tell me what’s going on with you.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Sonny repeated adamantly, his panic rising.

“Son, we’re closer than brothers.” Sonny twitched at Will’s words, ‘brothers’ stinging him more than he wanted. “We’ve practically spent every day together since we were born. I know you’re lying. And - why are you so tense?”

Sonny shook his head, unable to speak for his panic.

“Sonny?” Will asked, his voice soft with concern.

“I’m - I’m alright,” Sonny stammered, taking a deep breath. “I am kind of tired though. I don’t think I’m up for a sleepover tonight. I’m sorry.” Sonny slid off the bed, putting as much space between himself and Will as possible.

“I - alright,” Will conceded albeit confused. “I’ll see you tomorrow for coffee, like usual?”

Sonny nodded, not looking at Will, who left without another word. Sonny choked back a sob and curled into bed, his heart aching.

Sonny took a deep breath before pushing open the doors to the Java Cafe. Will and Paul were already seated at their usual table.

“Hey,” Will said softly when Sonny approached. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. Sorry about last night,” Sonny apologized, accepting the coffee cup Paul was holding out for him.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Should we head for school?” Paul asked. He didn’t seem confused by Will and Sonny’s exchange so Sonny assumed Will had told him about the night before.

Will and Sonny both nodded and followed Paul out into Salem Place.

A little over a month later, the three of them were lounging in Will’s bedroom in Lucas’s apartment, when Paul said suddenly, “Why do none of us have Valentine’s dates?”

“Probably because we’re the only three out gay guys in school?” Will offered, not looking up from the essay he was typing on his laptop.

Paul glared at him and Sonny grinned in amusement.

“Well, why don’t we go to the Spot then?”

“The gay bar on the other side of town?” Sonny asked.

“Yeah.”

“We’re not old enough to drink.”

“So what?”

“Yeah, so what?” Will echoed Paul’s question. “I’m game if you are.”

“Come on, Sonny. It’ll be fun,” Paul coaxed.

“I think I’ll pass.” Sonny squirmed uncomfortably. He knew he should probably go, try to meet someone to get over Will but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to do it. “You two have fun.”

“No. Forget it.”

“Really, Paul. Go. I don’t mind. Go or I’m not going to go to your first game next week.”

“That’s it. We’re going,” Will said. Sonny had been at every one of their games since middle school; for him to threaten to not go was a serious matter.

“Just don’t be late for Java tomorrow!” Sonny called after them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“This is it?” Will asked. He and Paul were standing in the doorway of the Spot.

“Expecting something different?”

“I’m not sure what I expected.” Will shrugged. “I guess I was thinking of it more as a club than a bar. Loud music, bouncers.”

Paul laughed. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“Sure.”

“Two virgin Bloody Marys,” Paul ordered as they settled themselves on stools in front of the bar.

“Are you worried about college?” Will asked randomly.

“A little. Yeah.” After a beat, Paul said, “I’m the star of the team here, but what if I’m not good at the college level?”

Will’s hand found Paul’s on the bar top. “Hey. You’re going to be great.”

Paul grinned sheepishly. “You really think so?”

“I have been on the other side of your fastball. I know I looked like an idiot trying to swing at it.”

Paul laughed and Will laughed at having made Paul feel better. “Salem University obviously thinks you’re good enough to warrant a full scholarship, P. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

“Thanks. What about you? Are you worried about the writing gig?”

Will fiddled with the napkin in front of him. “A little? I mean I’ve interned at the Spectator for years but I don’t know if that’s because I’m good or because my aunt owns the paper.”

“I don’t know. I think you’re a pretty good writer. I’ve always found your articles to be particularly compelling.”

“Shut up. You’re just saying that.” Will blushed under Paul’s praise.

They lapsed into silence until Paul asked, “Wanna dance?”

Will made a face.

“Oh. Don’t be like that. No one’s going to care if you dance like a robot.”

Will threw his head back with laughter. “Fine. Let’s go, smartass.” Will hopped off the barstool and held his hand out to Paul.

Paul smirked, took Will’s hand, and followed him onto the dance floor, just as the song turned slow.

“Oh. We don’t have to,” Paul said.

Will searched Paul’s eyes, all trace of a smile gone now. “No. It’s alright. We can dance.”

“You sure?”

Will nodded and slid his arms around Paul’s waist. Paul accepted the gesture and wrapped his own arms around Will’s neck.

“You know, I’ve never done this with a boy,” Will admitted quietly.

“Me either.”

“Is this weird?” Will asked.

“Dancing with a boy?”

“Dancing with me.”

“No.”

They stared at each other for a second before they leaned in simultaneously. Their lips met in a soft kiss. At first, it was nothing more than a press of mouth against mouth. Then Paul parted his lips, his tongue pushing against Will’s. Will allowed the access and pulled Paul closer. Paul went willingly, tightening his grip around Will’s neck, and deepened the kiss.

They stayed locked together until the music changed to a faster pace, breaking them apart. They looked at each other, both flushed from the kiss. After a second, they grinned at each other.

“That was unexpected.”

“But not unwelcome?” Will asked.

“Definitely not unwelcome,” Paul confirmed.

“Walk me home?”

The walk back to the DiMera mansion was a quiet one. At the door, Paul said, “We should tell Sonny.”

“Maybe we can keep it just between us for now?” Will asked and took Paul’s hand in his. “Until we know if this is going somewhere?”

“Is this going somewhere?”

“Do you want it to?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do,” Paul said, ducking his head and smiling uncharacteristically shyly.

“Good. Me too.”

“So we keep it quiet for now,” Paul agreed. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“We go on a real date. Tomorrow night?”

Will nodded. “Can I kiss you?”

Paul answered by pulling Will to him and kissing him gently.

“Goodnight,” Will said when they broke apart.

“Goodnight, Will.”

Will smiled and let himself into the mansion.

“How was the Spot?” Sonny asked the next morning.

“Surprisingly uneventful,” Will answered. Sonny was fiddling with his coffee cup so he missed the glance Will and Paul exchanged.

“I think we might try going back in a few months...or years,” Paul said. “You were right to bring up that we couldn’t drink. It was pretty boring without alcohol.”

“No dancing?”

“We’re...not really the dancing type,” Will said with a snort of amusement, though he held Paul’s gaze.

“Let’s just forget the bar thing happened,” Paul said, though he smiled softly at Will.

Will and Sonny both agreed.

“This isn’t weird, right?” Will asked Paul.

They were walking along the pier on the way to Shenanigan’s, the piano bar/restaurant on the far side of town. Paul had picked the place, having heard about it from John and Marlena, suggesting that it was somewhere Sonny wasn’t likely to stumble upon them.

“Us going on a date? Surprisingly, no.”

“Surprisingly?”

Paul laughed. “We’ve been friends forever, Will. I guess - I guess I never considered us being anything more than that.”

“Me either,” Will admitted, stopping outside the restaurant. “But I’m not sorry we are.”

Paul searched Will’s eyes and smiled. “Me either. But it does feel weird not telling Sonny.”

“I don’t think he’ll have a problem. I think he’ll be happy for us.”

“I want him to be,” Paul replied. “But you know what? No more talk of Sonny tonight. Agreed?”

Will bit his lip, smiled shyly, and nodded, following Paul into the restaurant.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I had a really great time tonight, Will.”

“Me too.”

“You know, last night after I left you, I wondered if it might be hard to transition to being more than friends.”

“And?” Will asked. They were stopped outside Lucas’s apartment, where Will was staying for the night.

“I don’t think it’ll be hard at all,” Paul answered, pulling Will to him by the waist.

Will grinned and willingly accepted Paul’s kiss, soft at first, deepening to something more, Will wrapping his arms around Paul’s shoulders and tangling his fingers in the hair at the base of Paul’s neck.

“I really like kissing you,” Will mumbled against Paul’s lips when they broke apart a little bit for air.

“I really like kissing you, too,” Paul muttered, his eyes still closed and his forehead pressed against Will’s.

“I should go inside,” Will whispered, after a few minutes of them standing in the doorway, just holding each other.

Paul pressed another chaste kiss to Will’s mouth and then extricated himself. “See you for coffee tomorrow?”

“Dinner too?”

“Come to the townhouse after practice. We can do homework together.”

Will agreed silently, kissed Paul again quickly, and went inside.

Sonny didn’t see much of Will and Paul for the rest of February. They had baseball practice every afternoon after school, getting ready for their first game against Oakdale High School from the neighboring town, and they were all getting swamped with school work, midterms only a couple weeks away.

They managed to keep their morning coffee dates but Will and Paul were obligated to sit with the baseball team for lunch in the run up to the start of the season. Sonny was left to have lunch with other friends they’d all grown up with, Gabi Hernandez, Chad DiMera, and Tad Stevens.

“You okay?” Chad asked. “You haven’t touched your food.”

“Will and Paul went to the Spot last week for Valentine’s Day.”

“Together?” Tad asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

“It wasn’t like that.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. I am,” Sonny said forcefully.

“Why are you still brooding about it then?” Chad asked pointedly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We know you’re in love with Will,” Gabi said gently.

Sonny’s mouth dropped open. “Is it really that obvious?”

The three of them nodded at the same time.

“Shit,” Sonny mumbled. “Do you think Will knows?”

“Will is oblivious to stuff like that,” Gabi replied, squeezing his hand. “But maybe you should tell him.”

“No! I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” T asked.

“I don’t want to make things awkward between us.”

“How do you know he doesn’t feel the same?” Chad said.

“Because I do,” Sonny huffed. “I have to go.” Without another word, Sonny picked up his tray and left the cafeteria.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Will asked, even as he stretched his neck out to allow Paul more access with his mouth.

They were on Will’s bed in his bedroom at the DiMera mansion, their backs against the headboard, their homework lying abandoned at the foot of the bed.

“No,” Paul said shortly, peppering Will’s neck with kisses and working his way back up to Will’s mouth.

Will grinned into the kiss, immediately pushing his tongue past Paul’s lips and clawing at the T-shirt on Paul’s back. Paul returned the pressure, swinging his leg over Will’s, straddling him. Will let out a groan, his hips bucking up involuntarily. Paul gasped into Will’s mouth but didn’t break the kiss. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Will’s neck and pulled him closer. Will went willingly, sliding his hands under Paul’s T-shirt and clawing at the bare skin of Paul’s back.

Paul broke away, breathless, but rested their foreheads together. “Wait. Wait.”

“What’s wrong?” Will asked. He looked at Paul, whose wide-blown eyes were surely a mirror image of his own.

Paul swung himself off of Will’s lap. “I think we’re moving too fast,” Paul said, not looking at Will but instead running his hand over his face.

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course,” Will said softly, lacing his fingers with Paul’s on the space of bed between them. “Do you remember Chad’s fifteenth birthday party when we played Spin the Bottle?”

“You kissed Gabi.”

“You landed on T but he called foul.”

Paul laughed and nodded. “What made you think of that?”

“You’re the first boy I kissed,” Will admitted quietly.

Paul squeezed his hand. “You were for me too.”

Will looked at Paul. “What about that guy you were hanging out with last summer? Derek, wasn’t it?”

“We never kissed,” Paul said with a shrug. “I don’t even know if he was gay or bi or whatever.”

“I’m glad you were my first kiss,” Will said, his face flushed.

“Me too,” Paul answered in kind, dropping his head onto Will’s shoulder.

March blew into Salem with bitter cold and a snowstorm threatened to postpone the high school’s first baseball game. But the weather cooperated and students, teachers, and families alike piled onto the bleachers to support their boys on the field.

“Good luck!” Sonny yelled through the fence. He waved at Paul who was warming up on the mound and at Will who was getting settled at shortstop.

Will and Paul both smiled at him and waved back, also waving at their families who were in the stands next to Sonny and his own parents.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“You were brilliant out there,” Will told Paul.

The locker room had cleared out of the rest of the baseball team, their teammates all going their separate ways to celebrate their first win of the season.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” Paul said, pulling Will to him by his belt loops.

“I’m not the one who threw twelve strikeouts,” Will responded, smirking.

Paul shook his head in mock exasperation and quieted Will with a kiss. Will smiled into it, draping his arms across Paul’s shoulders. Paul pulled Will through the distance left between them, sliding his arms around Will’s waist.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

His throat sore from cheering, Sonny hurried through the empty school to the locker rooms to congratulate Will and Paul on their win and to pick them up for their tradition to celebrate a win with ice cream sundaes at the Brady Pub.

As he slowed outside the locker room, Sonny found it surprisingly quiet. The team must have already left for the night. But Sonny hadn’t seen Will or Paul waiting for him so he assumed they were still inside.

Sonny pushed the door open ready to call out for his friends, but his words died on his lips. Will and Paul were kissing passionately, Will’s arms around Paul’s neck, and Paul’s arms circling Will’s waist.

Sonny let out a strangled cry, his heart shattering. Will and Paul jumped apart, startled. They both paled at the sight of Sonny standing in the doorway, staring at them.

“Sonny -” Will started but Sonny turned on his heels and sprinted down the hallway and to his car.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“Shit,” Paul swore, lightly punching a locker.

“Hey. Don’t hurt your hand,” Will said softly, pulling Paul’s hand away from danger. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“He looked really upset, Will.”

“He was just surprised,” Will assured. Will took Paul’s face in his hands. “It’ll be fine. He’ll be upset for a couple days and then things will go back to normal. Yeah?”

Paul nodded but didn’t look convinced.

“I’ll call you after I talk to Sonny. Okay?”

“Okay.” Paul’s lips turned up a tiny smile.

Will kissed Paul quickly and hurried after Sonny.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Somehow, Sonny managed to drive himself home and clamor his way up the mansion staircase before collapsing on his bed in tears.

There was a knock on his door what seemed like a minute later. “Sonny? Can I come in?” Will asked.

Sonny hiccoughed on a sob, took a deep breath, and sat up to face Will.

“You’ve been crying,” Will said, shocked, and closed the door behind him. “We should have told you. I’m sorry. Paul wanted to but I talked him out of it.”

“How long?” Sonny asked quietly.

“Since Valentine’s. At the bar,” Will answered honestly.

Sonny looked away but he felt Will sit down on the bed next to him.

“I really didn’t think this would be such a problem for you,” Will said.

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” Sonny turned angrily to Will.

Taken aback by Sonny’s tone, Will asked, “I don’t know. I guess because at that point it was just one kiss.”

“At that point?”

“We’re dating now,” Will replied.

“Oh.” Sonny found it hard to breathe. “And you still decided not to tell me.” Sonny said robotically.

“I’m sorry if you feel like we’ve betrayed you. We didn’t plan this. It just...happened.”

“Please stop talking, Will.” Sonny heard the quake in his voice.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a couple minutes. Then Will said, “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“We’ve always been brutally honest with each other. You can tell me what you’re feeling.”

“I love you,” Sonny whispered. He said it so quietly he wasn’t even sure he’d said it aloud.

“What?”

Sonny swallowed thickly, turned his face to Will, and said, “You want to know what I’m feeling? My heart is fucking broken, Will.”

Will blinked at him, shocked by Sonny’s extreme reaction. He hardly ever swore. “We never meant to hurt you.”

“Well, you did! I can’t breathe it hurts so much.”

“I don’t understand,” Will said slowly.

“I’m in love with you, Will!” Sonny blurted out.

Will shrank back, as if Sonny had struck him across the face.

Sonny choked back a sob and turned away, burying his face in the pillows. “Please leave, Will.”

Sonny heard rather than saw Will respect his wishes.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Will? What’s wrong?” Paul asked when Will walked into his bedroom. “I thought you were just going to call.”

“I needed to see you,” Will said, crawling onto the bed next to Paul.

“What happened?”

Will worried his lip, anxious. “It was so bad, Paul.”

Paul draped his arm around Will’s shoulders and pulled him closer.

“He’s in love with me,” Will whispered.

“What?”

Will looked at Paul. “He’s in love with me. I had no idea. How could I have no idea?”

“Hey. Hey,” Paul wrapped his other arm around Will so he could hug him properly and kissed his hair. “I didn’t know either. He hid it well.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Paul answered honestly. “But we’ll figure it out. We’ll give him a few days to cool off and then we’ll talk to him.”

Will nodded against Paul’s chest. “Can I stay with you tonight?” Will asked, looking up at Paul. “I don’t want to be by myself.”

“Of course.”

Will smiled sadly, kicked his shoes off, and curled into Paul’s side. Ten minutes later, they were both asleep atop the covers, both still in their jeans and T-shirts.

Will and Paul didn’t speak to Sonny for nearly two weeks. He didn’t show up for their daily coffee dates and he avoided them in school, sitting with Gabi, Chad, and Tad for lunch, and choosing seats in their classes on the opposite side of the room; Will and Paul’s afternoons continued to be preoccupied with baseball.

Will and Paul finally cornered Sonny in the Cheatin’ Heart, of all places, one Friday night in the middle of March. He was behind the bar, helping his mother out due to the bartender calling out sick. They had gone there for a night out, not considering that Sonny might be there.

Biting the bullet, Will and Paul made a beeline for Sonny.

“Sonny?” Paul asked tentatively. “Can we talk?”

“I’m busy,” Sonny said curtly, turning his back on them.

“Please, Sonny,” Will practically begged.

Sonny sighed but said to the waitress, “I’m taking a break.” Then he followed them to a booth at the back of the bar behind the pool table.

They sat down, Will and Paul across from Sonny.

“We’re sorry we didn’t tell you,” Will said.

“Oh. So you’re a ‘we’ now?” Sonny mocked. “I assume Will told you what I told him?”

Will flinched.

“Sonny. Tell us how we can make this right,” Paul tried gently, choosing to let Sonny’s question go unanswered.

Sonny clenched his jaw and looked away. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to say that we haven’t broken our friendship,” Will said quietly.

Sonny looked sharply at Will but said less harshly than expected, “I’m not mad at you. I’m just hurt.”

“We didn’t know,” Paul said.

“Would it have really made a difference?” Sonny asked.

Neither Will nor Paul replied. Sonny blinked back tears, sighed, and rubbed his hand over his face.

“I don’t want this to be the end of our friendship either,” Sonny said after an uncomfortable minute. “But I just need time. I don’t need you to like it but I need you to respect it.”

Without allowing Will and Paul to respond, Sonny slid out of the booth and walked back behind the bar.

No more than a minute later, Will and Paul left the bar and went to the Brady Pub instead.

“Is Coach Sisko pushing us harder this year?” Will asked, collapsing on his bed and stretching his neck, trying to crack it. “I hurt everywhere.”

“It’s almost April. Are you still not used to the stretches and exercising? And general baseball activities?” Paul asked. “Or are you just being dramatic?”

Will stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend.

“Oh. Nice. Very mature.”

Will grinned.

“Come on. Lie down on your stomach and take your shirt off.”

Will squinted at him suspiciously but conceded to Paul’s request. “Are you just trying to my clothes off?”

Paul laughed, as he crawled onto the bed and straddled Will’s hips. “No, it’s not,” Paul said into Will’s ear. “Just relax.”

Suddenly, Paul’s hands were on Will’s shoulders, his thumbs tracing circles on Will’s back muscles.

“Nngngngh,” Will breathed out. Paul laughed.

“Feel good?”

Will nodded against the bed. Paul massaged Will’s back in silence for a few minutes, Will drifting into a light sleep.

“How are you feeling?” Paul asked, breaking the quiet, peppering Will’s neck with butterfly kisses.

Will’s lips turned up in a slow smile. “Better,” Will said propping himself up low on his elbows and turning his face to capture Paul’s lips with his own.

Breaking the kiss, Will flipped himself onto his back, so they could get a better angle. Paul smiled down at him and ducked his neck down to kiss Will again, languidly. Will’s arms circled Paul’s waist as the kiss deepened, Paul’s tongue in his mouth and his fingers in Will’s hair.

As the pressure and intensity of the kiss increased, Will scratched at Paul’s back and clawed at Paul’s shirt, working haphazardly to shed him of the material. Paul broke the kiss, and searched Will’s eyes.

The air in the room had changed, suddenly charged with electricity and a heat that hadn’t been there when they’d first come in.

Will’s hands stilled on Paul’s back. Staring up at Paul, his eyes blown wide with lust and his lips swollen and red from kissing, Will couldn’t help but feel the swell in his chest. “I want to,” Will said. “But only if you do too.”

Paul kissed Will again, hard and sloppy and fast. “I want to,” Paul said on a breath.

Will arched up into Paul, sliding his hands under Paul’s shirt to push it off. They broke the kiss only to shed Paul’s shirt and the rest of their clothes.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

“You okay?” Paul asked. Will was curled into his side, tracing circles on Paul’s chest.

“More than okay,” Will said with a soft smile. “You?”

Paul nodded against the top of Will’s head and kissed Will’s hair.

“I love you,” Will mumbled, drifting off to sleep.

“I love you, too.”

Will was sitting on the white couch in the newly renovated Horton Town Square reading a book when Sonny sat down next to him. It was the beginning of April and they were on Spring Break from school.

“Hi,” Will said cautiously.

“Hey,” Sonny answered and gave Will a small smile.

“How are you?”

Sonny looked away from Will and fiddled with a loose string on his jacket. “It still hurts, Will. For a lot of reasons. But I miss you, Will.” Sonny turned back to Will. “You and Paul.”

Will scooted as close to Sonny as he dared. “I miss you, too, Son. So does Paul. It’s great, the two of us, but it’s not the same as having you around too.”

“Chad and Gabi and T are fun to hang out with but it’s different, y’know? They’re my friends but they’re not my best friends. I want my best friends back.”

Will lips turned up in a smile. “We can take it slow if you need to,” Will offered.

“Can you promise me one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Could you maybe keep your PDA to a minimum around me? At least for now?”

“Absolutely,” Will promised.

Sonny nodded his thanks and then asked, “So, are you busy?”

“No. I’m meeting Paul later for dinner with John and Marlena but I’m free for the day.”

“You, uh, you maybe want to get some lunch at the Pub? I think we have a lot to catch up on.”

“I’d love to,” Will said, and followed Sonny out of the Square.

The first time the three of them hung out together again was awkward for all of them. Will and Paul were exceptionally careful about not touching each other and Sonny was clearly still in some slight distress.

It was still too cold to do any extended activities outside so they opted to go bowling at the alley in Salem Place. Over pizza, french fries, strikes, and spares, Will, Sonny, and Paul began the slow task of rebuilding their friendship.

“Do you remember that time in fourth grade when we went bowling with our class?” Sonny asked, dipping three fries into honey mustard.

Will and Paul both nodded, mouths too full of pizza to talk.

“Paul kept throwing gutter balls,” Sonny said, grinning evilly. “Couldn’t get his aim right.”

“And somehow he became the star pitcher of the baseball team,” Will deadpanned.

Paul glared at both of them, but his lips twitched.

“How did that happen?” Sonny countered, his grin stretching even more across his face.

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” Will said, playing along.

“You know what?” Paul said in mock anger. “I can see today is take the piss out of Paul day. That’s fine. I can take it.”

Will and Sonny both threw their heads back with laughter. It almost felt like things were back to normal.

“Sonny, can I ask you something personal? You don’t have to answer.”

Paul and Sonny were sitting at a table in the Kiriakis garden enjoying the first warm afternoon of the season. It was a rare day off from baseball and Will was spending the day with his parents and his brother and sisters.

“Sure.”

“How long have you been in love with Will?”

Sonny looked up from his book to stare at Paul. “Does it bother you?”

“No. I’m just curious.”

Paul’s look was so earnest Sonny had no reason to believe he was lying.

“Do you remember that makeshift camping trip we had at the lake last summer?”

Paul nodded.

“Will was pointing out all those constellations he learned from his trip to the planetarium with Sydney and the twins. His face was alight with excitement.” Sonny smiled to himself, dazing off into the garden, almost forgetting that Paul was there. “We couldn’t really follow what he was talking about it, he was talking so fast. But his eyes were shining and I don’t think I’d ever seen him so passionate about something, even baseball or writing. I looked at him and I just...felt something shift in me. That was when I knew.”

“I’m sorry,” Paul said quietly.

Sonny pulled himself out of his reverie and looked back to Paul. “I don’t need you to be sorry, Paul. It’s not anyone’s fault.”

“But we hurt you.”

“No. I mean, yes. But you didn’t do it on purpose. You fell in love with Will same as I did. And Will fell in love with you,” Sonny said, the words hurting his heart a lot less than they would have two months before. “Will never saw me like that. That’s all there is to it.”

“Someone will love you, Sonny,” Paul said, grabbing Sonny’s hand on top of the table. “I promise. You have too big a heart for it not to be shared.”

“Have you heard from any of your colleges yet?” Will asked Sonny.

The three of them were lounging on the couch in Horton Town Square, nursing coffees and sharing muffins and breakfast croissants. They were enjoying the nice almost mid-April weather and their last day of Spring Break before they returned to the push towards finals and graduation.

“You should be hearing soon, no?” Paul added.

Sonny tore off a piece of croissant, stalling answer the question. “I have, yeah.”

“And?”

When Sonny looked up from the food, Will and Paul were smiling at him excitedly.

“I got into a few but I’m turning them all down.”

“What?” Will and Paul asked simultaneously.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last couple months. I think I need some space from Salem for a little bit.”

Will’s smile faded and Paul’s brow furrowed. “Because of us?” Will asked, stung.

Sonny shook his head. “Yes. No. A lot of things. The truth is really that I’ve been getting a bit of wanderlust. There’s a whole world out there. I want to see it.”

“How long will you be gone?” Paul questioned.

“I’m going to defer Salem U for a year, go to Europe, Asia, maybe. I might even try climbing a mountain or two.”

“So a year, then?”

“That’s the plan right now. But if I like it? I don’t know. That plan might change.”

“When will you leave?” Will asked, sadness clouding his face.

“Right after graduation.”

“So soon?” Paul’s face was sad too.

“If I don’t go soon, I’ll never go. And this is something I need to do.”

Will and Paul nodded their understanding.

As April barreled into May, Will, Sonny, and Paul continued rebuilding their friendship. They returned to spending as much time as possible together but they also set ground rules, allowing Will and Paul time to spend alone without Sonny, and allowing Sonny to spend time with Will and Paul individually.

Slowly, Will and Paul integrated displays of affection into their time with Sonny. To his credit, Sonny handled it gracefully; the shaky new foundation of their friendship didn’t seem to suffer for it.

“Let’s go to the lake,” Paul suggested, one Saturday morning early in May. “The weather’s beautiful today.”

“Alright,” Sonny agreed and followed Will out of the townhouse so they could get their stuff.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“This was a good suggestion,” Will said. He and Paul were lounging on a shared beach towel, their legs intertwined. Sonny was on his own towel, next to them.

Will tipped his head back onto Paul’s shoulder, turning his face up to the sun. “The warmth feels so good.”

“Mmm,” Sonny agreed, folding up a towel to use as a pillow. He had just laid down when a beach ball bounced onto his legs.

“Sorry!” a voice called. A second later, a boy a year or two older than them appeared. “My little sister hit the ball a little too hard and the wind just carried it.”

“No problem,” Sonny said, handing the ball back to the guy, who took the ball but didn’t move.

“My name’s Brian, by the way.” He held out his free hand to Sonny.

Sonny shook his hand. “Sonny.”

“Nice to meet you, Sonny.”

“You too.”

After a beat, Brian said, “I, uh, I should get back.”

When Sonny didn’t say anything, Brian left.

“Sonny,” Will said.

“What?”

“Do you really have to ask that?” Paul said with a laugh.

“What?”

“He was flirting with you!” Will clarified.

“No. No. No, he wasn’t,” Sonny babbled, his face heating up.

“He was,” Paul confirmed. “You should go talk to him.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“Because.”

“Because why?” Paul pushed.

“Go talk to him,” Will nudged gently.

Sonny stared at Will and Paul. After a minute, Sonny conceded. “Fine. I’ll go talk to him.”

Grinning, Will and Paul watched him go. When he was out of sight and earshot, Paul turned to Will.

“Good. He’s gone. Now I can do what I’ve been wanting to do all morning.”

“What’s that?” Will questioned, even though he knew the answer.

Paul grinned mischievously and captured Will’s lips in a kiss, pulling Will on top of him, Will relaxing into the kiss and embrace.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“This was a really fun day,” Sonny said. They were sitting at a table in Horton Town Square, eating ice cream.

“Sure it was. You got a date with a cute boy,” Paul said, grinning as he spooned ice cream into his mouth.

Sonny glared at him, but his lips were stretched in a small smile.

“It’s really great, Sonny,” Will said. “Even if you’re leaving in a month, I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there.”

Sonny’s smile faded and he stirred the ice cream that had melted in his cup, not looking at Will and Paul. “It’s a lot easier than it used to be. I figure I might as well take that next step.”

“Good for you,” Will said, taking Sonny’s hand in his briefly. He hoped he wasn’t pushing his luck and crossing a line but it was a good sign that Sonny didn’t flinch away.

Breaking the somewhat tense air that had settled over their table, Paul said, “Dad and Marlena are in Chicago for the night. You want to come back to mine and watch the Cubs game or maybe watch a movie?”

“Who says we can’t do both?” Sonny suggested, freeing his hand from Will’s.

Paul smiled and followed Will and Paul out of the Square.

As May flew by, their time together changed from leisurely pursuits to stressed out cramming sessions for school, sharing notes and quizzing each other for last minute tests before finals. Whatever other time they had was spent with Will and Paul on the baseball field and Sonny cheering them on.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“How’s it going with Brian?” Will asked from a lounge chair on the edge of the DiMera pool. Sonny was lounging on a raft in the water. Paul was inside making sandwiches.

They were taking time out from baseball and studying to relax at the behest of their parents.

“It’s not.”

“Oh no. Really?”

“He was too full of himself. Boasting about being first in his class in his pre-med program. I don’t know. He irritated me.”

“Were you just not trying?”

“I tried, Will. Really. I did,” Sonny insisted. “Maybe I’ll meet someone during my travels. Some fancy French artist or some hot Spanish flamenco dancer.”

Will shook with laughter.

“So you’re really going?” Paul asked, picking up on their conversation.

“Yeah.”

“You know we’re going to miss you, right?” Will said.

“I’m going to miss you, too,” Sonny admitted, climbing out of the pool and settling at the foot of Will’s lounge chair, joining Will and Paul’s picnic of sandwiches and lemonade.

Summer, the end of the high school baseball season, and finals converged on Will, Sonny, and Paul’s lives in the middle of June.

“We’re free,” Sonny said, collapsing on Will’s bed.

“Don’t say that to Paul. He’s still got a final tomorrow.”

“Sucks for him.”

Will muffled his laughter in a pillow. “Wanna watch a movie while he suffers with studying?”

Sonny grinned at him and crawled up the bed to sit next to Will. “Let’s watch The Breakfast Club. We haven’t watched that in ages.”

“Okay.” Will climbed off the bed to retrieve the DVD from his shelf. “Want popcorn?”

“Nah.”

Will shrugged and climbed back onto the bed, popping the movie into his laptop, which he propped on a pillow in the space between their legs.

Almost immediately, Sonny dropped his head onto Will’s shoulder. Happily surprised, Will smiled and dropped his own head on top of Sonny’s.

They watched the movie in comfortable silence, falling asleep midway through, their heads still nestled against each other.

“Are you sad the season’s over?” Will asked, tracing circles on Paul’s bare chest.

Paul skimmed his fingers up and down Will’s arm. “Yeah. But I’ve got the college team to look forward to.”

Will smiled.

“You’ll come to the games, right?”

Will shifted his head on the pillow so he could look at Paul. “Of course! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know.”

Will propped himself on his elbow. “Hey. Talk to me.”

“College is hard on high school relationships,” Paul said, staring at the ceiling.

“And you think that’s going to happen to us?”

Paul turned his face to Will. “It could.”

“It won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“For one thing? We’re going to the same school and we’re still living in the same town.” Will smiled a little. “For another, we love each other.”

Paul smiled at that. “We do.”

Will’s smile stretched across his face and he bent down to kiss Paul. After a minute, Will broke away.

“I have an idea.”

“Always dangerous,” Paul teased.

Will stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend. Then he said, “Why don’t we dorm together?”

Paul blinked at him and sat up, turning his body towards Will. “I wasn’t planning on living on campus.”

“I know. Neither was I. But I think we should. Together. That way we can ensure that we’ll be able to see each other. Even if we can’t make time for each other during the day - which I hope we do - we can be sure to see each other at night.”

“We should make a plan to make time for us anyway. Like lunch on Fridays no matter what.”

“Anyway?” Will asked hopefully. “Are you saying yes to us living together?”

“Yes. Yes. I’m saying yes,” Paul confirmed with a grin.

Will’s face lit up with bliss and he launched himself at Paul. Paul laughed and caught Will, falling back onto the pillows with Will on top of him.

“I love you,” Paul said, blinking up at Will.

“I love you, too,” Will replied, ending the conversation with his mouth on Paul’s.

“I can’t believe we graduate high school tomorrow,” Sonny said.

They three of them were sitting on the beach on the edge of the lake. It was the middle of June and they were enjoying the beautiful weather, celebrating the end of the school year and the baseball season.

“Do you remember how scared we were to start?” Will asked.

“And we all promised that no matter what we’d stick together,” Paul added.

“And we did,” Sonny said, smiling broadly at his two best friends.

Things between them had gone back to normal, Will and Paul loosening up around Sonny, and Sonny seemingly free of the greater part of his love for Will. Now they were closer than ever.

“I wish you were coming to school with us,” Paul admitted.

“I know. I do want to,” Sonny said. “But I need this gap year. Otherwise I’ll be restless.”

“Come back to us, Sonny,” Will said.

“I will. I promise.”

“You can still stay, y’know,” Will said.

He and Paul were standing with Sonny outside the gate of Sonny’s plane at the Salem Airport. Justin and Adrienne had wanted to take Sonny to the airport but Sonny had insisted on Will and Paul driving him.

Sonny smiled a little sadly. “I’ll email you and send you pictures as much as I can. And we can FaceTime whenever I get the chance.”

Will nodded, blinking away tears, and pulled Sonny into a tight hug. Sonny returned the embrace, equally tight.

“Don’t forget us, okay?” Paul said when Will and Sonny had broken apart.

“Never.”

Paul also pulled Sonny into a bear hug.

“I should go,” Sonny whispered, extricating himself from Paul. “I’ll be in touch as soon as I can.”

Will and Paul moved to stand with each other, supporting each other as they waved goodbye to their best friend.

#dool #will horton #sonny kiriakis #paul narita #horita #wilson #my fic #myhoritafic #mywilsonfic

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peter-i-left-my-window-open · 6 years ago

Text

Soft Bias Tag

Alright @hipstaa-pleazz tagged me like a year ago lol I guess I should probably do this! And since I always use T.O.P, well he is my ultimate bias, I think I'll chose someone else this time. Aaaand since I really only know BigBang and BTS 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 well....

I cant choose a bias in BTS. But I always think of these two first so...

1. Who’s my bias?

I am going with BTS so I'm choosing Kim Taehyung and Min Yoongi.

2. What made you notice them?

So, I didn't at first. At first I was like, well Yoongi is too serious and Taehyung seems to not pay attention enough.

But once I started watching all their shows they put out, like Run BTS or Bon Voyage, I got to know them better.

I like Taehyung's feel of innocence. He's like soft, serious, fun, oblivious, in his own world, hard working and compassionate all in the same person. I know there are lots of idols like that, I just can't dedicate my life to learning all of them.

I like Yoongi's seriousness. He's very much a worker. I feel like when he has a family, he will provide for them very well. He is serious and works to get "the prize" (he cheats in a lot of games, but he's doing what he needs to win the prize).

3. What’s your favorite thing about them?

Taehyung - I love his ability to just live life. I mean, he doesn't much worry about what people think. I mean he does, so much that it bothers him when there's arguments, and he wants to make thing right quickly so there aren't any hard feelings, at least that's what I gather. But he doesn't care about things like pimples, and makes his own decisions, like his mullet decision, without worrying about others' feelings. Like when he told Army it was his decision and to please like it. I feel like most people, myself included, worry too much about the approval of others. There is a line there and for some people the line is a country mile wide.

Yoongi - His passion. I could go on for 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 about his passion for what he does. If you don't know, he spends countless hours in his studio. Worrying about their music, planning their concerts, p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶u̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶g̶l̶e̶. It's rare when a person finds something they're passionate about, sets a goal, and actually reaches that goal. He did it! He still tries to make himself better - to be the best. That's rare in the states now days, and I'm happy to know of a person like him. Someone who can actually achieve a dream. His music, at the end of the day, is all he will ever have and he knows it and he embraces it whole-heartedly. He loves what he does, and it shows.

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

It takes me a while to be touchy-feely. I mean, not to sound like the years worst mom award winner, but it took a while for me to attach to my kids once they were born. That being said...

Taehyung - we aaaalllll know he would be suuuch a cuddler. And since I'm horrible at telling people no, I would endure it until I became comfortable with it. But once it was comfortable and mutual. It would be all the time. We would hold hands a lot and hug a lot, hopefully I could match him for initiation points!

Yoongi - well, he seems kind of in the middle. But I think PDA would definitely not happen until later in the relationship. Like a 8 months or so down the line. W̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶i̶t̶ ̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶f̶i̶c̶?̶?̶?̶ Probably after supper time, when we're on a walk with Holly, we would hold hands. I think it would intensify as stressful moments came about, like at work, and probably would build to a more comfortable mutual for us both.

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

ME! I sleep with like 8 pillows and a flat sheet, a light blanket, and a comforter. Even when my kids sleep in bed with me, they have their own blankets!

6. Who would be more clingy?

Taehyung - it would depend on what kind of attention I get from him to be honest. I'm kind of a chameleon when it comes to relationships. I just kinda go with the flow and try to make everyone happy. But if things are super fluffy with Taehyung, then definitely it would be a contest. But... wait. Of course they would be super fluffy, there is no but!

Yoongi - same. It would depend on what kind of attention I get from him, too. I know things probably would be awkward in the beginning-ish of things, so I'd probably have to say I'd be more clingy. But that's pushing it because the atmosphere wouldn't be a clingy one. So the "clingy" would probably be always wanting to sit together with him while watching a movie, or at a restaurant, always wanting to sit across from him, so I can see him when I want to, or at the movies, I'd want to share a popcorn, not have my own. Idk does that make since?? 🤷‍♀️

7. Who would say i love you first? who would easily be flustered?

I don't say "I love you" to anyone, right now, except my kids. Not even to my friends, even though daily they say things like "I love you Courtney. I'm so happy I worked with you today." And I'm just like "Ok, thanks." I̶'̶m̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶w̶k̶w̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶u̶e̶s̶s̶.̶ I don't even remember the last time I said it to my ex-husband when we were married. I̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶a̶d̶?̶ ̶S̶o̶r̶r̶y̶.̶.̶.̶

But it would probably be me, in both situations. It wouldn't come out until it would be something small they did that just absolutely made my day, or something they did out of the blue but I could totally feel they put their heart into it.

I think Yoongi would be the most flustered. I think Taehyung would just smile a lot.

8. What cuddling position would you have?

I always always 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 sleep with a pillow behind me to lean back on. So I guess I like being the little spoon. I like being kissed on the forehead, too. So if I sleep where my head can rest on their shoulder or they hug me to sleep while my face is just close enough to their neck to smell their body wash, or sneak a kiss or two when they're sleeping, that's good, too.

9. What colors remind you of them?

Taehyung - soft colors like sunrise yellow or butter yellow, off white, soft coffee colors like caramel macchiato (hot not iced cause I hate iced coffee and that's not the color I'm going for) or cafe latte.

Yoongi - green like the greens you see after the first 3 good rains of spring, and.... actually, that's all that comes to mind right now when I think his name.

10. What season would you like to spend with them?

Of course I'm going to pick Autumn, it's my most favorite season EVER!!! I love summer and the sun, but Autumn has this feeling about it that I just can't get enough of. If you ever want to get to know me we need to go hiking in the mid to late season! Holy moly. Ok anyways, Autumn. Because Halloween and preparing for Christmas!

CHRISTMAS IS MY MOST FAVORITE HOLIDAY EVER! I can't get enough decorating and cooking and smells and SNOOOOWWW!!!

Ok back to Autumn.

I just can't think of anything better than sitting on my front porch drinking coffee and then going out to rake a huge pile of leaves and jumping in them. Maybe even, if it was big enough, we could jump from the top of my car!!! 🙆‍♀️ I'm getting all giggly thinking about it!! I feel like people just open up during the fall and people start relaxing and enjoying the weather more. I just feel like it's a stress free time. (That could just be me)

11. Who would bake cookies and who would steal the batter?

I'm definitely baking! I love to cook!! And we all know all three of us would sneak the batter, but I feel like Taehyung would say something like, "Hey! Make two batches and we'll share some with the members." And when I go to starts breaking off pieces for the 2nd batch, he'd be eating it on the couch watching football!!

12. Who would want to adopt 50 cats and dogs?

Ok so idk about 50, but I definitely want to have 2 cats and I'd hope they'd get along with Holly and Yeontan well enough.

13. Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

Wait. Who puts pop-tarts in the microwave?!?

I may have to put down some rules for the microwave. I feel like the only thing that should go in the microwave is popcorn and sometimes left overs.

14. Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

Taehyung would lean over, I just want to sit on the edge. Yoongi would probably sit beside me or stand behind me.

15. What would watching a horror movie be like with them?

Taehyung and I can freak out together and hold hands while making sure all the lights in the house are on before we barricade ourselves in for the night.

Yoongi would probably laugh or scoff at me for jumping and screaming. Seriously I do NOT do scary movies. The scariest I get is Corpse Bride by Tim Burton. I think he'd be making fun of me the rest of the night teasing me and trying to scare me. Which would work until I start crying. I can throw myself into an anxiety attack just by thinking about being scared, so one time and I'd probably drown in my own tears. Ugh 😖😖

16. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

I bet they could both pull of both extremes. I know things would be more frequent with Taehyung and he'd probably be more cheesy. Which is fine. Whatever! Cheesy is super cute! Yoongi being more serious would be more smooth, but I know there'd be times when he's cheesy, too!

17. Who would be more competitive?

We all know Yoongi is and it would probably end in an argument because he would have cheated, and probably more than once.

Taehyung probably would be competitive, too. But I feel like he would be more of "doing it for fun". Not as serious of a competitor.

I can be pretty serious when I know what I'm doing.

18. Who sends memes and who sends cute “i miss you” texts at 3am?

Taehyung would be doing both!! He'd send cute ones probably when he'd been having a bad day and wanted attention and reassurance. And then it'd lead to let's cheer up, and we'd send memes back and forth to make us 😂

We all know Yoongi'd be too busy in the studio to pay attention, but I'd send him some. So he'd have something to look at and break his mind every once in a while.

Thanks @hipstaa-pleazz this was fun!!!

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